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  1. #11
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    But out of interest, what if you saw this but it wasn't your friends son?
    Good question.

    For this incident I think nothing. I don't think it was the right way to approach the situation, but the child wasn't being physically hurt (in which case I would speak up). I wouldn't appreciate a parent commenting to me in that situation.

    However, now I've read the OP more thoroughly (shouldn't bubhub and mark work :-p) I think I would ask the director to clarify their behaviour management philosophy/point me to a policy. If they seemed keen to know why then I might mention the incident I had seen.

    I'm not really sure. You've got me thinking now. It's just so ingrained in me not to ask about other people's children, I guess I was looking from that perspective, if that makes sense.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    :-( poor kid!

    Personally I would just tell my friend and leave it at that. It's not my child so I wouldn't involve staff in discussion about somebody else's son.

    However if my friend wanted to speak to the director and asked me to share what I had seen as a support/witness type of thing I would definitely do so.
    I think the reason I want to speak to the staff isn't from a "your staff did this with xx" point of view, but more from a "I saw your staff deal with a child like this and it made me uncomfortable. Is this standard practice?" If it is, I'm not sure I want dd there. 😔

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    Irrational anxiety moment. For those who work in Childcare, you don't think the carers will take it out on my daughter because I've told the other parent what I saw?

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    I don't think they would do that. Logically - she hasn't done anything wrong, and neither have you. Also, hopefully they would understand children are not responsible for their parents' actions! Definitely an irrational anxiety moment.

    For what it's worth, I think you've done the right thing in telling your friend and also in approaching the room leader. I'd also ask for clarification on the policy, just in case.

    Gosh, poor little thing. That's awful and so confusing for him.

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    Definitely not Op. But they will be more careful around you in the future I imagine. I'm fairly confident it was just a case of a poorly trained/ guided child care worker. It's totally fine to leave it up to the room leader. Part of their role is managing the staff in their room, ensuring they are adhering to center policies and procedures, and are interacting with children in a positive, professional and appropriate manner. If it was happening over and over again you would then take it up with the director.
    I would just like to add, children need adults to advocate for their rights. If you see something happening you feel is wrong, don't be scared to ask questions.

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    Default How would you handle this? Childcare issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Irrational anxiety moment. For those who work in Childcare, you don't think the carers will take it out on my daughter because I've told the other parent what I saw?

    My DD1 still likes the carer she clashed with that I had to pull up.

    Edit: she's now 4 so this was 2.5 years ago

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    I'm a teacher and would never take a parents actions into account in Regards to my treatment of their child...

    I think that is such an inappropriate way to deal with a chid that age! He will have gained nothing but had his sense of safety and trust taken. I would bring it with the director as suggested above with clarification of policies. We just moved out lil guys day care and he LOVES his new place and never seemed to feel safe at the old....very interesting to think why after reading a pp comment about their dds blankie taken away as we were told this happened to ds too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Irrational anxiety moment. For those who work in Childcare, you don't think the carers will take it out on my daughter because I've told the other parent what I saw?
    No, they wouldnt take it out on your DD. They might b'tch about you in the staffroom though (sorry! But better you than dd I guess....) I have worked in childcare, in well run & poorly run centres, & saw this kind of thing all the time. Just staff not knowing how to appropriately deal with behaviour, over worked and underpaid & possibly untrained staff who are stressed with a room full of toddlers & are in over their heads (....at a guess!) I would hope that because it's not a regular room carer, it might be an individual issue with that staff member.

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    20 months is way way way to young to do something like that. They have no idea what they are doing and it's totally inappropriate. Mortified.

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    The poor child.
    Being a good friends child I would have picked him up myself.

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