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  1. #1
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    Default Friend told my DD her birthday parties are too 'fancy' so she can't come...?!

    So, I am the first to admit i go completely OTT with my kids parties. I am lucky in that i have free access to a location with a function hall and I often have them in their as it is convenient and air-conditioned. I also use a distributers website where you can get things really, really cheap - I used to order stuff off it for a market stall - I get lots of cool things to decorate with and for the party bags and it costs me next to nothing. I also make great cakes as i love cake decorating. Anyway - today DD told me her friend said her mum said she can't come to DD party as they are 'too fancy''?? This girl has never been to any her birthdays before and I have not sent out invites for this year yet meaning this Mum can only have heard it from another Mum at school..and I am so not happy about this! Why would someone say that? I also do it because my Mum is an alcoholic and was usually drunk at my parties - so I always say not only are they going to have a fantastic birthday party they are not going to worry I am passed out drunk when all the guests are showing up! Sorry Vent over - but this has really ****ed me off for some reason!

  2. #2
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    Hang on, don't jump the gun. I honestly doubt that the mother told the daughter to say that. And, if you throw fancy parties they will be talked about...but that doesn't mean it was talked about in a negative way...could have just been a general discussion. I know I when my kids have gone to fancy parties it's been talked about in the playground, but never negatively.
    Kids say all sorts of untrue stuff. Don't let it annoy you because the mother probably never said it at all.
    If this child is on the invitation list then just casually say to the mum 'there is a birthday invitation for x in her bag. She told my daughter recently her parties are too fancy to come to, but I hope she changes her mind,' and laugh it off...you'll know by the mother's reaction whether the girl made it up or not. And if she didn't, who cares? Her problem, not yours.
    Last edited by Full House; 06-03-2016 at 04:30.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Hang on, don't jump the gun. I honestly doubt that the mother told the daughter to say that. And, if you throw fancy parties they will be talked about...but that doesn't mean it was talked about in a negative way...could have just been a general discussion. I know I when my kids have gone to fancy parties it's been talked about in the playground, but never negatively.
    Kids say all sorts of untrue stuff. Don't let it annoy you because the mother probably never said it at all.
    If this child is on the invitation list then just casually say to the mum 'there is a birthday invitation for x in her bag. She told my daughter recently her parties are too fancy to come to, but I hope she changes her mind,' and laugh it off...you'll know by the mother's reaction whether the girl made it up or not. And if she didn't, who cares? Her problem, not yours.
    I think you've misunderstood. Her daughter is not being invited to a birthday party because the other girl said her parties were too fancy. The op has admitted going overboard for birthday parties and I'm not saying this is true but maybe the other mum is embarrassed that the party she is throwing is just a basic backyard party. Again, I could be completely wrong but still, being excluded is not nice.

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    Perhaps it's something as innocent as the child getting wires crossed. The other mum may have said "blah blah has really fancy parties, but you can't go this year, as we will be away"
    And the daughter didn't hear the whole reasoning past "you can't go"

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    It may have been tongue in cheek. The other mum may have been talking to hubby being sarcastic saying I've heard this mum does incredible parties so we can't let do go or we are ruined! Hopefully it was something like that.

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    RmumR  (06-03-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I think you've misunderstood. Her daughter is not being invited to a birthday party because the other girl said her parties were too fancy. The op has admitted going overboard for birthday parties and I'm not saying this is true but maybe the other mum is embarrassed that the party she is throwing is just a basic backyard party. Again, I could be completely wrong but still, being excluded is not nice.
    I'm still reading it as the friend can't go to the OP's DD's party....not that the friend isn't invited. Maybe the OP can clarify?
    Even if it is that way, it doesn't make what the child said true. I've overheard a child telling another child they couldn't go to their party because the mum said it was too hard to cater for that child's allergies. I know the mum in question, and knew that it simply wasn't true...and it wasn't. The child wasn't invited because it was a family party with two school kids invited, which were the child's two best friends...it had nothing to do with the child's allergies at all. The mother was mortified her child had said that. Kids get their wires crossed and make stuff up all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    It may have been tongue in cheek. The other mum may have been talking to hubby being sarcastic saying I've heard this mum does incredible parties so we can't let do go or we are ruined! Hopefully it was something like that.
    That is exactly something I would say...completely joking of course...but I would joke to my DH that 'such and such sets the standards too high, our kids can't go, cause then they'll realise how bad I am at decorating and catering.' But I would never actually mean that!
    We have a friend who is an incredibly talented cake decorator, and we always tell her her kids aren't invited to the party because she can't see our amateur efforts. Of course, her kids are invited and she comes and sees our amateurly decorated cake because we would never not invite her child based on her skills! It's all just tongue in cheek!

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    JustJaq  (06-03-2016)

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    Personally I wouldn't let something like that get to me. Kids say all sorts of things and a comment like that could easily be lost in translation. At the end of the day you don't know what was said (if anything) so why worry about it?

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    Jontu  (06-03-2016)

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    OK... first of all I don't think your parties sound too fancy. My parties sound exactly the same, minus the hall. My parties are talked about all the time. In a good way of course. If someone is talking about your parties being "too fancy", I would take it as a compliment.

    If I heard that comment from my DD's friend, I would take it that the little girl is jealous that she hasn't been invited, and is making up an 'excuse' as to why she doesn't care 'cause she wouldn't be allowed to go anyway. To 'cover' for her uninvitedness.
    I wouldn't assume it was the mum at all.

  13. #10
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    I think perhaps the mum of the child has heard others talk nicely about your party and the mum has decided they're too fancy (as in she doesn't or can't throw parties that are as 'fancy') and has maybe said something to her DD.

    Or perhaps as others have said it could just be her DD making things up.

    Either way if the mum isn't a friend of yours or her DD isn't a friend of your DDs then I wouldn't care what they have or haven't said. It's their problem.


 

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