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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by J37 View Post
    Don't feel awful. My take on it all is that people can parent any way they see fit, taking into account personal circumstances and temperament of their child/children. The only essential being that you love your children, and want the best for them. And this is certainly true of everyone in this thread.

    Yes, I admit that I do think that some of the methods described here are ridiculous and overindulgent. But it's not my business how others parent.

    The phrase "respectful parenting" grinds my cookies, and smacks of "SanctiMummy", because the alternative, as already highlighted, is "disrespectful parenting", which is absurd.

    As you were ladies.

    Sent from my SM-N910G using The Bub Hub mobile app
    So if I want to google for specific advice regarding a parenting philosophy, how shall I word it? Any phrase (gentle parenting, common sense parenting, patient parenting, etc) can insinuate that the 'other' way is negative in somebody's eyes. You have to label something some name to be able to find info on it. It's just about trying to be less reactive and more patient and empathetic, which many child psychologists say does help with children learning to regulate their own emotions more, I think you're reading too much in to a name because you personally don't seem to belief in the particular philosophy, and that's fine. I actually think more parents just naturally tend to 'practice' it than we think.

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    So if I want to google for specific advice regarding a parenting philosophy, how shall I word it? Any phrase (gentle parenting, common sense parenting, patient parenting, etc) can insinuate that the 'other' way is negative in somebody's eyes. You have to label something some name to be able to find info on it. It's just about trying to be less reactive and more patient and empathetic, which many child psychologists say does help with children learning to regulate their own emotions more, I think you're reading too much in to a name because you personally don't seem to belief in the particular philosophy, and that's fine. I actually think more parents just naturally tend to 'practice' it than we think.
    Following on from this, just because someone doesn't follow a certain parenting philosophy, doesn't necessarily mean they're following the opposite style. Like everything, I think it's a sliding scale, you pick what works for you and leave what doesn't.

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    HollyGolightly81  (05-03-2016)

  4. #93
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    Default Respectfully parenting a threenager

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think you've missed @harvs' point. You use the term positive sleep aid in many threads as distinct from a negative sleep association. Her point (I think) is it's just as agreeable or disagreeable as the phrase respectful parenting, depending on which side of the table you're on.

    Follow?
    I followed what Harvs was saying (it was obvious to me what the underlying point was ...) and I agree. Hence why I questioned who would disagree.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-03-2016 at 18:50.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    So if I want to google for specific advice regarding a parenting philosophy, how shall I word it? Any phrase (gentle parenting, common sense parenting, patient parenting, etc) can insinuate that the 'other' way is negative in somebody's eyes. .
    True. However there is just an extra aura of knobiness with the phrase 'respectful parenting.

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    J37  (05-03-2016)

  7. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I'm feeling quite awful now. I would love to say things calmly such as "I understand that you're upset because of xxxx" but honestly when dd1 starts to push my buttons and gets her tanty panties on I start to get frustrated and angry instead and HAVE to walk away otherwise I end up in a shouting match with her.
    Don't feel awful. I still walk away or loose my patience sometimes. Being home with a toddler when you're pregnant and sleep deprived is mentally and physically draining. But I am actively trying to ensure I change my approach because with him I do find that staying with him and trying to be more patient and calm works so much better with his personality than my other reactions.

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    I have to add, that while I gave a run-down of what works well with my daughter, it's often not what I actually do. I do more than my fair share of losing my **** with her over unimportant stuff...but I'm getting better. What I stated was what WORKS here, and what I TRY to do. It can be bloody hard work putting what you want into practice though.

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    BettyV  (05-03-2016),HollyGolightly81  (05-03-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (05-03-2016),Mokeybear  (05-03-2016),sparklebug  (05-03-2016),VicPark  (05-03-2016)

  11. #97
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    I just wanted to thank everyone who contributed to this thread. I have been reflecting on our relationship and whilst her feelings are as important as everyone else in the family, I do need to put my foot down and stand my ground at times.


    Also she has come down with a UTI and throat infection this weekend so I'm hoping this monster behavior is due to her not feeling well. She's on antibiotics so I hope my chilled out kid is back soon!

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