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  1. #11
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    We have friends down as guardians should something happen to DH and I. Our families know. I don't want our friends to have to deal with any fallout should the worst happen. Our will also leaves pretty much everything to them should we both die - both life insurances, house (proceeds of its sale) etc. That way they can hopefully raise our kids as well as their own without extra financial burden.

  2. #12
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    Default Non family Guardian for your kids if the worst was to happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by 2giraffes View Post
    DH and I recently did our wills and wanted to have our chosen guardians written into the will. We have our first choice but if they are unable to take the children (only reason likely to be old age or illness) we have a second choice written down.

    However, the solicitor was reluctant to write this in as he said it is basically just writing our wishes (ie not legally bound) so can be contested. We insisted on having it written in so that if it were ever contested in court at least our wishes were clearly written down on paper and signed by us both. Can anyone advise if what we were told is correct? It frightens me to think my children would be fought over.

    Both couples are aware of our choice and have been told that if anyone contests it they are to fight for our children. However we have not told other family our choice as we are concered it could cause 'issues'.
    Yep it's true that it's not binding. The family court will always have the power to change where the children go should it be challenged.

    Family court judges act in the interests of the children not the parents and not the guardians.
    Last edited by Sonja; 03-03-2016 at 21:17.

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  4. #13
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    it is incredibly important to talk to everyone involved.

    Not only the friends that you have elected to be your childrens guardian - but your own families to ensure that they do not contest your wishes. That they will be understanding and supportive.

    In the event of your death, your children will need everyone on their side and on the same page.

  5. #14
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    We were having friends...but we did speak to family, who were upset and not understanding at all.
    The friends we had thought of then ended the friendship on us, so glad we didn't do that. But it means we have no one. My DH's family is not trustworthy, and my brother is childless by choice, and he was very unsure when we asked him as we basically asked him to potentially live a life he simply doesn't want to live.
    My parents desperately want to be guardians, but it would be too much on them IMO...so, we're stuck...and as such have no will as we don't have anyone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    We were having friends...but we did speak to family, who were upset and not understanding at all.
    The friends we had thought of then ended the friendship on us, so glad we didn't do that. But it means we have no one. My DH's family is not trustworthy, and my brother is childless by choice, and he was very unsure when we asked him as we basically asked him to potentially live a life he simply doesn't want to live.
    My parents desperately want to be guardians, but it would be too much on them IMO...so, we're stuck...and as such have no will as we don't have anyone.
    Please make a will. The appointment of a guardian is only a very small part of a will. If either of you pass and you don't have a will it can be an incredibly expensive and drawn out exercise to have assets administered by the public trustee.

    You only need a guardian if you both die at the same time. Let's face it that's pretty unlikely.

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    This caused a bit of an argument with DH last night. His attitude was "what does it matter, we will be dead and therefore not care what happens".
    I said "don't you care what happens to the girls if we die?" "No, because I will be dead."

    We also couldn't agree on suitable guardians. Fingers crossed we both don't die together now..... And that he dies first!

    What a disgusting attitude. I guess he just doesn't like to think that way but it's very frustrating.

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    @Little Miss Sunshine it's not surprising. If this is the first time you've raised it with him it's a common reaction. He'l hopefully think on it and realise you're just being sensible. It took a few conversations before we settled on someone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @Little Miss Sunshine it's not surprising. If this is the first time you've raised it with him it's a common reaction. He'l hopefully think on it and realise you're just being sensible. It took a few conversations before we settled on someone.
    It was brought up briefly when we purchased our new house, as the lawyer told us to do a will, and I guess it went into the too hard basket. I just thought he was being a tool.

    I will continue to work on him.

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    I don't have a will and need to do that. That being said I'm a solo mum so it's a choice of my family or my family! Pretty easy choice, my sister has one boy and couldn't have more because of infertility. We are each other's kids second mum. But even if she couldn't have them I don't know anyone I wouldn't want to have them.

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    Are you sure I just can't stick my head in the sand and not say anything??? I don't even know what I would say. I'm a big 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

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