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  1. #1
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    Default Would you be upset by this?

    My best friend recently had a baby. While she was pregnant, she asked me if I'd be willing to be the god mother. For a bit of background, I'm not religious and I don't really believe in god, but I was raised catholic so I know how it all works. I respect other people's beliefs, and I would be happy to be a god parent and do all the expected things even if I don't really believe in the concept of 'god parents' per se.

    So fast forward to today, she randomly tells me she's asked someone else to be the god mother. She also asked this girl's partner to be the god father. Her reasoning for not choosing me is that she didn't want to ask my husband, but that's a pretty poor excuse IMO because her older daughter's god parents are not a couple. She could have asked me and not my husband.

    Anyway, I know I shouldn't be upset because it's her choice and maybe she wanted someone more religious to do it, which is fine. But when we last talked about it I got the impression she had already chosen me. And also, she's not exactly a practicing Catholic, she doesn't go to church or anything so I don't know why she's now changed her mind if that's her reasoning.

    Oh and she then said "Don't worry, you'll still get them if I die." So, apparently, I'm the person she would entrust her children to if she died, but I'm not good enough to be her kid's god mother.

    I'm really upset about it but I think maybe I'm just being silly

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    I can understand being upset by that. She should have put more thought into it before asking someone. It sounds like she's backpedaling using the excuse of not wanting to ask your husband.

    If I was in your position it would leave a pretty sour taste in my mouth and one I may not be able to get rid of.

  3. #3
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I can understand how you are feeling. The people I have for my children godparents, one couple we hardly see, but we have kept in touch with the others. I also split couples for the god parents, so that is quite a common thing. I think she didn't think things through before asking you. Marie.

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    Yes, I would be upset. She asked you to be a very significant person in her child's life and then with no explanation to you changed her mind. I am really bad at confrontation so if this happened to me I would find it difficult to talk to my friend about it but I think if you feel ok with it you should try speaking to her about it.

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    When I starting reading your post I thought ehh let it go and don't be offended. But her comment that you'd get the children if she died? So heaven forbid she passed you are trusted enough to raise her kids but you aren't god mother bc she wants a couple? I'm not in the slightest religious but I'd be pretty annoyed tbh. I would probably make a passing comment said in a humorous way that you are good enough to raise her babies yet not good enough to be godparent!

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    I'd be upset. It would feel like a bit of a slap in the face. I probably wouldn't confront her about it, but if she ever brings it up again I would certainly tell her how I felt.

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    yeah i'd be upset. and call her out on it about how i feel. especially with the last part.

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    Poor form, very poor form.

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    Yeah, I'd be a bit hurt but also a bit puzzled at her decision.

    I know plenty of folks who choose non-coupled God parents - it's pretty common actually.

  12. #10
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    Yes, naturally I'd feel hurt, definitely. I'm not religious either, but I think it's besides the point. Fact is she chose someone over you, AFTER she'd already told you she wanted you to be the godmother.
    People are can be so annoyingly frustrating! Very thoughtless of her.


 

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