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  1. #1
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    Default My first baby, but my wife's second

    Hello all,

    I'm hoping someone may be able to let me know what to expect when my wife and I conceive our first baby together ...

    My wife has a daughter from a previous marriage, and I have no children ...

    I've always looked forward to the 'first baby' experience, and I'm a little worried that because my wife has had a child already (she's 12 now) that I'm not going to get to experience all the new things and the new worries of being a first time parent, because she's been through it ... And yes, Inreally wanted to experience the worry and uncertainty too ... It's part of the journey.

    Can anyone share their experiences and if you felt like you were experiencing a 'first baby' scenario?

    Thanks.

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    Hi Coatesy,

    I was worried about some of the same issues. My husband had two children when I met him.

    He assured me that our experience was to be different and it was. At the end of the day, the birth of your first child is a very special experience (as can be the birth of any other children of your marriage).

    Every Childs birth is unique and while I didn't quite believe this when I was pregnant with our first child, I started understanding it further along.

    Good luck with conceiving your first child.

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    Coatesy79  (03-03-2016)

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    Thanks, Mod-pegasus ...

    I really don't want to miss out on that experience, and I've heard so much about the woman not being as excited with subsequent pregnancies due to the fact they've experienced what pregnancy is and what childbirth is like ...

    I love my wife dearly, and I can't wait for us to have our first child ... I just hope that I can experience everything she would have done the first time around, rather than just shrugging things off because she knows they're nothing ...

    Do you still have the same worries, concerns, excitement and desire to share with each pregnancy that comes along?

    Thanks.

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    My DS is 15 months. We haven't yet started TTC our second, but now that I've decided that I definitely do want a second, the idea is pretty exciting. Just as exciting as our first. I have the same concerns/worries about conceiving and pregnancy as I did about my first. I even have a couple of extra ones because I have done it before and neither my pregnancy or labour/birth were particularly easy. I also know that I'll be classified high risk, and I have a whole set of worries about the way this will be managed in our new (smaller) town.

    ETA: I also feel like I would like to share the news earlier on this time around, particularly with my mum.
    Last edited by Tiny Dancer; 03-03-2016 at 12:44.

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    Hi Tiny Dancer,

    Thank you very much for your perspective ... You've helped me feel much more at ease.

    I want nothing more than to support my wife through her next pregnancy and I'm really looking forward to the experiences.

    Thanks again!

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    Hi there,
    it WILL be like having your first (for her) all over again. 12 years is a big age gap and it will be really enjoyable. Congrats.

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    Coatesy79  (03-03-2016),MrsTugs  (26-05-2016),Olive Oil  (04-03-2016)

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    My husband has two kids in their teens and I am expecting my first with him.
    For a while he was a bit "I know it all"... But that settled down now and he lets me do my thing and just provides some input.

    I was concerned about the same thing but now find he is quite excited too although Bub will be his third not first. Bub is his first with me and it's all new and different for him.

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    Coatesy79  (03-03-2016)

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    I have 3 kids to the same man so I hope you don't mind me replying. But from a woman's perspective, the 2nd and 3rd pg and birth were just as wondrous/worrisome as the first. I still cried at the ultrasounds. I still was in awe of the movements inside of me. I still looked at my 2nd and 3rd children with a feeling of such intense love and protection I can't explain it fully.

    It may be her second child, but I suspect she will feel the same range of emotions you do, particularly since it's been 13 years since she was last pregnant. I actually find it lovely you are so into the experience. I know so many men that are so 'Meh' about it.

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    Thank you all so very much for your perspectives ...

    I feel much better about things now, and know I'll be able to experience our baby's pregnancy and birth fully.

    I'm looking forward to the adventure and the journey of being a father ... I hope I can be a good one!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coatesy79 View Post
    Hello all,

    I'm hoping someone may be able to let me know what to expect when my wife and I conceive our first baby together ...

    My wife has a daughter from a previous marriage, and I have no children ...

    I've always looked forward to the 'first baby' experience, and I'm a little worried that because my wife has had a child already (she's 12 now) that I'm not going to get to experience all the new things and the new worries of being a first time parent, because she's been through it ... And yes, Inreally wanted to experience the worry and uncertainty too ... It's part of the journey.

    Can anyone share their experiences and if you felt like you were experiencing a 'first baby' scenario?

    Thanks.
    Hi, I had my first a week ago today, and it's my husband's third.
    I have definitely been getting all the 'first baby' stuff- but then I am the one who actually has to go through it so... I have felt, quite a bit, that he was a bit meh about the whole thing.
    But seeing him with her the last few days has made it seem like his first time too.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DT75 For This Useful Post:

    Coatesy79  (03-03-2016),KittyDeFleur  (04-03-2016)


 

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