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  1. #11
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    Default Help with a defiant 5 yo!

    I think i really need help here! I am confused myself no matter how many times i have asked in this forum i just cannot find ways to educate ds around school rules other than talking a lot with him( and even too much!!) and he gets none out of it!

    *touch wood* that was the last time i heard ds jumping off the furniture. At home *also touch wood* he doesnt jump off anything at home (ok he never does it regularly.. He did a few times before and despite a lot of screaming from us he kept going like he was half deaf). Now we keep him busy doing something else such as kids chores etc or simple arts n crafts).

    I will 'grill' the teacher tomorrow asking what exactly in school that ds has troubles following.

    I have to say though 30 years ago when i was at kindy i was very shy and my behaviour at school and home was perhaps the same. My mother thought i was the easiest daughter to raise although i wasnt academically outstanding. So now i have a hard time digesting and comparing ds behaviour betwren at school and home.

    I have said a number of times to ds, listen to your teacher and dont wander off during class, OK?! And he said OK. Then i ask him again after school whether he was unsettled again, he said no. So was my approach right??

  2. #12
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    He needs to burn off steam. He's a 5 year old boy. Take him to the park or for a cycle or get him into a sport. It's really boring for him to go to school and then go straight home to do chores or craft.

    You need to set up a communication book. If he gets good comments from the teacher that day then he gets to go to the park or something else that he chooses. If he doesn't get mostly good comments from the teacher then he doesn't get to choose something to do. Do you get to see the teacher or are you working?

  3. #13
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    Default Help with a defiant 5 yo!

    Yes, i agree with sports. I am signing him up to swimming classes. Last year he wasnt so keen doing sports. I will look into other sport options as well, maybe a visit to a trampoline park ocassionslly as well. We go to the park on the weekends. I do most of after school care pick up but these days get dark pretty quickly and cant hang out there. so after school we often go for a quick walk passing through local arcade and have a quick bite to eat there, we often get home around 7pm too!!

    Oh thank goodness he is back to his normal bed time tonight!

    I am a full time worker since a month ago so i dont get a chance to see the teacher now. Sometimes phone calls are good too to discuss things in details.
    Last edited by bunnymum; 09-06-2016 at 23:14.

  4. #14
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    Have you considered karate? It's not something we have done yet but I have often thought it would be good for DS1. Teaches them discipline, self control as well as letting them burn up energy? Just a thought.

    If he hasn't done structured swim lessons etc you might find he has trouble listening at those too. Lots of fun to be had in the pool, I find be us around this age aren't great at listening (luckily our swim teacher is very good with them).

    I do think sport is a great idea, boys need to move their bodies. Have you read the book 'raising boys'? Worthwhile if not. It gives insight into boys development at different ages and what you can do as a parent etc.

  5. #15
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    I have considered similar to karate like Taekwondo. I am thinking of signing him up for fun and it is held in his school. I dont know if its offered to kindy students but i will ask. Otherwise i will look for another place.

    Yes i agree i am afraid he will have troubles listening at swim class too!!

  6. #16
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    Default Help with a defiant 5 yo!

    I will also look into the book 'raising boys', thanks for the heads up!

    In the past i used to think if DS had burned his energy doing plenty of activities at after school care, wouldnt that have helped him to settle down a bit? Now he needs to burn off more. Amazing. I think when i was young i preferred to be sitting down and that reflected my personality now as not a big fan of sports. Up until now what i enjoy is just yoga and a good walk in the park! I can see DS and I have totally different personalities! Lol

  7. #17
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    When was the last time your son had his hearing tested? My little brother went through a "naughty" phase where he didn't listen. My mum took him to get his hearing tested. Turned out he was profoundly deaf in one ear.

    He's 5. He needs constant reminding, that's most kids. He will lose interest in just talking. He needs an incentive, a reward for good behaviour but don't be afraid to tell him no. It's up to you to place boundaries.

    As for when you were a good kid, same here. I was very placid but my DD2 was a spirited handful. What was your partner like as a kid?
    Last edited by Marchbundle; 10-06-2016 at 07:22.

  8. #18
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    Just because he is running around, doesn't mean he isn't tired. Often children go hyper when tired. You said in your first post that he is falling asleep after school so he must be tired.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Just because he is running around, doesn't mean he isn't tired. Often children go hyper when tired. You said in your first post that he is falling asleep after school so he must be tired.

    lol I agree. Over tired kids are painful lol.

  10. #20
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    You say we and us, does that mean you are back with your husband? If so, is he on board with the plan as well? You both have to be or it won't work. I've responded to several of your threads and these are the things that come to mind.

    * You need to be consistant each and every time
    * You need to recognise that his behaviour has developed over time and it will take time to develop new behaviours.
    * When you say they haven't spoken to you all term - given his behaviour I would be touching base semi regularly with his teacher, via email, phone or even just a note since you work, to see how he is going.
    * You really need to get the referrals and assessments sorted ASAP. I know you say you've been busy, but this is your son and it needs addressing now.
    * My spirited son often gets *more* hypo who he's tired. In fact that's when I know he is. Sounds like he's over tired and it's affecting his behaviour at school.


 

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