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  1. #71
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    I have a 12.5yo and a 4.5yo (and 10yo). I leave my DS home with DD on a regular basis for up to a couple hrs, and I have absolutely no qualms about it. She is mature and responsible, knows how to use a phone and has been taught what to do if there's an emergency (ie we have done fire drills ).
    My older 2 are home alone from 3- 6pm on my work days. They eat, do some chores, and usually get dinner started. They have been doing it for nearly a year and no problems.
    Kids won't learn independence and responsibility until they are allowed some...

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  3. #72
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    Jeez my SIL won't even leave her 16 year old & 13 year old kids alone for 10 mins let alone leave the house without them. lol.

  4. #73
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    My DD had a friend at school who would walk home with her sister (about 5 or 6 blocks through the neighbourhood) and they'd be alone until the parents got home at around 5pm. The girls were 8 and 6.

    I've only just allowed DD11 (year 7) house keys and 1 day every week-fortnight she rides her bike to school (10 mins). I still get her to msg when she arrives.

    I couldn't leave DD6 or DS5 alone with her- I know they'd make life hell for her and it would all end in tears! Maybe in another couple of years though.

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    Default Would you do this?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterFarts View Post
    Jeez my SIL won't even leave her 16 year old & 13 year old kids alone for 10 mins let alone leave the house without them. lol.
    What? Why not? My sister left home at 16. That seems a little over protective?

    I regularly let my 10 year old stay home for an hour or so. Every precaution taken.

  6. #75
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    I also have no problems leaving my (almost) 12yr old at home, she has her own set of house keys. We have have a procedure/rules for everything, and she is always fine, I have meals ready or prepped to go, so she feeds herself. It's just that I wouldn't leave my younger one with her.

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    NO NO NO!!! Absolutely anything can happen so very quickly, and I don't believe a 13 year old has the maturity to be able to cope with a dangerous situation or medical emergency.

    I won't even leave our 5 year old son with my husband's two daughters who are 22 and 19 - they are totally untrustworthy.

  9. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillynix View Post
    Because I afforded him the trust to stay home on his own (we live in a quiet area), I gave him the rules, rang my Husband and told him what was happening, and told him to ring my phone, which I left with my son, at the half way mark and see how he was doing. He was tired and feeling unwell (just a cold) and didn't want to come at sit outside in the cold for an hour whilst I took 9yo DD to swimming. I took the 6yo and the 4yo with me.

    I was staying home alone by myself when I was 8yo, for long stretches of time as my mother worked evenings in a chalet doing bar/wait work. I would cook myself dinner, watch tv, bake a snack for when my mum got home, and go to bed. I am raising my children to be responsible and independent and to show them that I trust them.

    He was perfectly fine when I returned home (I was only a 4min drive down the road), he was still happily playing minecraft and watching cartoons. I appreciate that not everyone would do some of the things that I do with my children, and that's okay, but I would never knowingly place them at risk of anything. And that's just it, isn't it? Risk evaluation, and everyone's is different
    I appreciate what you're saying, and of course as his parent that's your choice to make... In hindsight my original post was a bit judgey, apologies for that.

    However, I do think that no matter how mature and responsible an 8 year old is, they still lack the decision making, judgement and consequence evaluation of an older (12/13 year old) child and so while they make not intentionally do something silly or dangerous, they still may unintentionally do so.

    I was also left alone for longish stretches of time (with my older sisters and without them) around the same age, and I got scared sometimes and did silly things sometimes... and my mum probably had no idea because she wasn't there.

    But you are right, ultimately it is about risk evaluation.

  10. #78
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    On face value (as in no relevant other information about the relationship between the two/behaviour), I absolutely would.

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    We (as a whole society) are obviously raising less responsible and sensible children these days if so many feel a 13 year old can't be trusted to care for a 6 year old for 1-2 hours.

    I took a first aid and CPR course at 12, it was a course aimed at teenagers for babysitting. Like I said earlier, the carbon monoxide alarm went off when I was babysitting a toddler and preschooler and I immediately grabbed both of them and ran to a neighbor for help. My cousin has taken first aid and CPR courses and I definitely feel she's more sensible with my 2 year old DS than my own parents, even last year at 13 I felt that way.

    Either we're raising children to be less sensible or we as a society need to lighten up.

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  14. #80
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    Depends on the children. At 13 I was more than capable and responsible enough to look after a 6 year old. Especially just for an hour or so. I'd imagine at 5am kids that age would still be asleep in a locked house?


 

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