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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    What is so bad about wanting to go to the gym with your DH early? At my gym there are heaps of couples who come and work out together, while their kids are at home sleeping. It's basically a milestone in parenting ...get your workouts done together in the morning cause the kids are old enough to stay home for the hour you're gone, most likely sleeping and not missing you at all...and then the afternoons and evenings are completely free for family time, and couple time...rather than one disappearing to go to the gym while the other one wrangles the kids after a day at work. It's something the parents with younger kids dream about
    I'm not sure what's so hard to 'get past,' really...
    And you know...it's a 13 year old and a 6 year old, not an 8 year old and a 6 year old. At 13 I was babysitting babies while their parent's went out for dinner...so on my own in a house with a baby until 9.30-10pm...responsible for bathing, feeding, and getting the baby to sleep. It's only another three years before a 13 year old can get behind the wheel of a car, only another 1 1/2 years until they can hold a job. The idea that a 13 year old won't be able to handle a most likely sleeping 6 year until 6.30am is something I'm struggling to get past.
    Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with a 13yo being responsible for getting a 6yo out of the house if there was an emergency situation. I can't think of a situation that would necessitate leaving children at home on their own TBH.

    DF and I tag team in the mornings, one goes at 5am-6am, the other 6-7am, it doesn't encroach on family time & we both get to the gym.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Without getting into what age etc., I can't get past this- you want to go to the gym with your husband. There is no reason why one of you can't stay home. If you were for eg. a single mum with no other possible free time and your mental health depended on some free time, then I'd say sure, go for it. But you have another option here, a really easy, straightforward option.
    They may not get free time together and this is the best option for them. I think that it's important for couples to spend time together, doing things they enjoy.

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  5. #53
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    Yes I would do this and not give it a second thought. As PP have mentioned, a 13 year old is biologically able to have their own children. It's just our over protective society that thinks that 13 year olds are not capable of caring for younger kids. They are in most cases. And have done so as an everyday occurrence since the dawn of time until about 10-20 years ago.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lulupetal View Post
    Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with a 13yo being responsible for getting a 6yo out of the house if there was an emergency situation. I can't think of a situation that would necessitate leaving children at home on their own TBH.

    DF and I tag team in the mornings, one goes at 5am-6am, the other 6-7am, it doesn't encroach on family time & we both get to the gym.
    And that's fine..it was more the judgemental tone and attitude expressed in my quoted post that surprised me...if you're not comfortable doing it yourself, fair call, but to judge another parent for considering it is a bit off, IMO. It's hardly that shocking an idea that the OP needs to be judged on her reasons for considering it, surely?

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  9. #55
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    I think it would be perfectly fine, @Janesmum123! I would have NO qualms about a 13yo being responsible for a 6yo for reasonable period of time - obviously so long as they knew what your plans were!

    One thing to keep in mind, is that over the many years I have been on BH, the 'BH norm' is most certainly not the 'real world norm' when it comes to these issues

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  11. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Without getting into what age etc., I can't get past this- you want to go to the gym with your husband. There is no reason why one of you can't stay home. If you were for eg. a single mum with no other possible free time and your mental health depended on some free time, then I'd say sure, go for it. But you have another option here, a really easy, straightforward option.
    Ever thought that perhaps this is about the only way/time that the OP and her Husband could spend time together? Or maybe that they want to get fit together and help each other out as encouragement? There are many reasons that this is what they are trying to organise. You are being very rude.

    Best not tell you that I left my just-turned-8yo home alone, all by himself, with no one else to watch him and care for him for a whole 75 minutes

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    Default Would you do this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    What is so bad about wanting to go to the gym with your DH early? At my gym there are heaps of couples who come and work out together, while their kids are at home sleeping. It's basically a milestone in parenting ...get your workouts done together in the morning cause the kids are old enough to stay home for the hour you're gone, most likely sleeping and not missing you at all...and then the afternoons and evenings are completely free for family time, and couple time...rather than one disappearing to go to the gym while the other one wrangles the kids after a day at work. It's something the parents with younger kids dream about
    I'm not sure what's so hard to 'get past,' really...
    And you know...it's a 13 year old and a 6 year old, not an 8 year old and a 6 year old. At 13 I was babysitting babies while their parent's went out for dinner...so on my own in a house with a baby until 9.30-10pm...responsible for bathing, feeding, and getting the baby to sleep. It's only another three years before a 13 year old can get behind the wheel of a car, only another 1 1/2 years until they can hold a job. The idea that a 13 year old won't be able to handle a most likely sleeping 6 year until 6.30am is something I'm struggling to get past.
    Wrong person quoted sorry

  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Without getting into what age etc., I can't get past this- you want to go to the gym with your husband. There is no reason why one of you can't stay home. If you were for eg. a single mum with no other possible free time and your mental health depended on some free time, then I'd say sure, go for it. But you have another option here, a really easy, straightforward option.
    Before you get too judgemental. You do realize that op has only asked because her husband thought she was overreacting because she DOESNT want to leave her children home alone?

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    It depends on how mature my children were. I was left home alone from the age of around 8. No siblings and sometimes neighbours weren't home. We had a landline which I could use to call someone (who? I have no idea..) and the doors were locked.

    Sometimes my parents would just nip to the shops down the road, other times they would be out the entire day to the city which was around 100kms away.

    This was in South Africa too...

    So with that in mind, if my kids were as responsible and cautious as myself, and keeping in mind that we currently live in a pretty safe area, and if it were my kids, and they had a mobile phone and knew who to call, then probably yes.

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    I have left my sick 8 year old home with my 13 year old while I took my other child to school and felt mega guilty for that 10 minutes. I couldn't do it for longer with a younger child


 

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