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  1. #1
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    Default Show me your rewards charts

    So I've decided I can't let my 4 year old DDs behaviour go any longer. I have decided on a rewards chart and writing our rules up and sitting her down and explaining them so she's got clear messages on what is acceptable and also having a routine up that shows time where I do housework or sit for a cuppa and when the TV is off, and when we will go out.

    We have rules and I always follow through with my threats of say not allowing any cartoons that day or going to her room for 4 minutes as a time out. Usually the threat is enough that she behaves but the main problem is her screaming at us the moment she doesn't get what she wants. I just feel like I can't discipline her for getting upset and crying but I need to change her attitude that she can only be happy if she's getting what she wants (and for her that's either watching tv, using the iPad, or getting attention from someone - usually me - while she plays - she hates playing by herself mostly, or she has to be out of the house.)

    Anyone got any charts they use? What are your rules? Has anyone had success with the schedule to get their kids used to not being the centre of their attention and doing exactly what they want all the time?

    TIA.

  2. #2
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    This is what we have used for almost 4yo dd for about 8-10mths. The bottom chart is for good behaviour on a daily basis. She gets a small reward of her choice when she fills the 20 stickers (this time around it is an ice cream, something she never otherwise gets). When she completes the 20 stickers, she gets to put a sticker on the top chart & this counts towards a larger reward (for now she is obsessed with Lego so she gets a decent sized set of her choice)

    I don't generally have too many issues with her behaviour so we didn't had much trouble implementing it. For us it is more of an incentive for bedtime routine. I am on my own for most of the time with dh working long hours so I need for her to cooperate with me so I get dinner/baths/bed completed whilst maintaining my sanity.

  3. #3
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    Clearly my sanity is gone tonight, here's our charts
    Attached Images

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    A-Squared  (28-02-2016)

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    We have rules charts for my little one.
    Each rule has a picture attached to it so it's easy for ds1 to see what the rules are

    One page (behaviors we want to see less of) :No running off, no yelling, no hitting, no ripping books, no spitting etc.

    Another page (behaviors we want to see more of): be kind, listen, share, be helpful, be gentle.

    Some of the items aren't as relevant now as they were when we did the chart up 1-1.5 years ago (eg ds1 doesn't hit anymore or rip books).

    I found it was just as important to praise the good behavior - go overboard with the praise.

    Now If we are out I try to pick up on triggers before there is an eruption. Eg if ds1 starts to get whiny and agitated at the shops I will get down to his level (eye level) and say "hey it's ok if you are frustrated. We will be back at the car soon honey. Now remember no yelling as it hurts mummies ears and scares the other kids." Wait 15 seconds and then say "hey great job no yelling - give me a high 5!" (I know 15 seconds isn't long - just try to look for any reason to give praise as it often helps ds1 break out of his cranky mood).

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    A-Squared  (28-02-2016),TheGooch  (28-02-2016)

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    @michellek I LOVE the idea of the double rewards chart. What sorts of things does she do to get a sticker on the bottom chart?
    @VicPark great tip about the positive reinforcement. I do often tell her thank you for listening, but that's about it and don't praise that enough. I do cheer whenever she finishes her dinner (as that pretty much never happens), but I think for her especially that could really help as she's very needy and does need A LOT of attention so if I exaggerate the positive attention, she hopefully won't seek the negative attention.

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    michellek  (28-02-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    @michellek I LOVE the idea of the double rewards chart. What sorts of things does she do to get a sticker on the bottom chart?
    It's simple things like getting ready in the morning/for bed at night, helping me with a job around the house or behaving whilst we do the grocery shopping/run errands. This year she has started pt kindy (wa) so packing/unpacking her bags has made the list.

    I happily take stickers off too if she does play up which when she does, usually involves niggling the cr@p out of younger ds😕. she gets a warning though before it's removed

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    Default Show me your rewards charts

    Quote Originally Posted by michellek View Post
    It's simple things like getting ready in the morning/for bed at night, helping me with a job around the house or behaving whilst we do the grocery shopping/run errands. This year she has started pt kindy (wa) so packing/unpacking her bags has made the list.

    I happily take stickers off too if she does play up which when she does, usually involves niggling the cr@p out of younger ds😕. she gets a warning though before it's removed
    I'll have to have a think about the good behaviours too thanks for those ideas.

    Also want to bump for any other ideas on charts or methods.

  12. #8
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    Ive tried so many reward chats and no have really taken off.
    My kids are 5 and 7 years and do stamp charts at school.

    I decided to do stamp charts at home and they are awesome. I think doing the same reward system they do at school keeps it all simple.

    My kids are loving them. Ive shown them the prize box (just cheap things like bubble mixture/hot wheels cars/stickers etc) so they are super excited about getting a prize. They are even asking for jobs to do..woo hoo

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  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    Ive tried so many reward chats and no have really taken off.
    My kids are 5 and 7 years and do stamp charts at school.

    I decided to do stamp charts at home and they are awesome. I think doing the same reward system they do at school keeps it all simple.

    My kids are loving them. Ive shown them the prize box (just cheap things like bubble mixture/hot wheels cars/stickers etc) so they are super excited about getting a prize. They are even asking for jobs to do..woo hoo
    Wow that's great! How do the stamp charts differ from sticker charts? Same but just a stamp? I suppose though if it's a stamp you can't take them away for bad behaviour?

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Wow that's great! How do the stamp charts differ from sticker charts? Same but just a stamp? I suppose though if it's a stamp you can't take them away for bad behaviour?
    You shouldn't be taking them away for bad behaviour. If they have earned a reward for good behaviour then their bad behaviour shouldn't take away from the fact that they showed the behaviour necessary to receive the reward. The 'punishment' for the bad behaviours should be unrelated to those for the good :-)


 

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