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  1. #1
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    Default Mums whose partners work away or travel - please share your advice with me!

    My husband is a teacher so doesn't work away but needs to go on school camps a few times this year,the first one is tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about how I'm going to cope with DD ( 2yrs 9 months ) and DS ( 3 months ) on my own. Please share any tips you have with me!

  2. #2
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    Set yourself up now if you can. Pre pare meals so the can be reheated or easy done. Slow cookers are great for this.
    Pop top drinks either water one from the shops or a water bottle for your dd to make getting drinks for her easier. Make up a snack box of stuff she can graze on if your busy. Try not to plan too much on. Make the days more relaxing if you can.
    Have a few easy to go to activities if you want to.

    Mainly just relax and know you can do this. Trust in yourself.

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    When my DH goes away, I find that the real pressure point is the dinner / bath / bed routine. I start early and have the meal fully prepared in advance for dinner.

    Bedtime is a bit tricky because my two don't sleep on their own. So We all go into my bed and I just give the toddler her milk and then stay until everyone falls asleep.

    What are the really busy parts of the day for you? Where does your DH normally help out the most? I would have a plan for those things.

    Also, I would say don't be too worried if things don't go exactly the way you want while your DH is away - it's only for a few days and if dinner is scrambled eggs on toast, and they miss their bath they'll still be fine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    When my DH goes away, I find that the real pressure point is the dinner / bath / bed routine. I start early and have the meal fully prepared in advance for dinner.

    Bedtime is a bit tricky because my two don't sleep on their own. So We all go into my bed and I just give the toddler her milk and then stay until everyone falls asleep.

    What are the really busy parts of the day for you? Where does your DH normally help out the most? I would have a plan for those things.

    Also, I would say don't be too worried if things don't go exactly the way you want while your DH is away - it's only for a few days and if dinner is scrambled eggs on toast, and they miss their bath they'll still be fine.

    Thanks, it's dinner/bath/bed that worries me the most! It's all good if DS is sleeping at that time but not so much if he's awake. Even though she is 2.5 my DD doesn't really feed herself so it's not like I can set her up with dinner then go do something else. My DH doesn't really help that much haha but he does bath DD. You're right - I guess it doesn't matter if she goes stinky for a day

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Set yourself up now if you can. Pre pare meals so the can be reheated or easy done. Slow cookers are great for this.
    Pop top drinks either water one from the shops or a water bottle for your dd to make getting drinks for her easier. Make up a snack box of stuff she can graze on if your busy. Try not to plan too much on. Make the days more relaxing if you can.
    Have a few easy to go to activities if you want to.

    Mainly just relax and know you can do this. Trust in yourself.
    thanks, I'm trying to tell myself it will all be ok! Really I think missing adult conversation in the evenings will be the hardest part in a way. All my DD talks about is Cinderella/Snow White/Sleeping Beauty/Ariel, I get pretty over Disney princesses by about 5pm!

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    Hubby goes away once a week.
    I consider that night my easy night.
    We have a easy dinner and I have netflicks/stan/presto movie night. I pick a TV series and I binge watch on the night he is away. I usually pick something he wouldn't like. I sometimes buy myself a little treat too.

    As for bed time bath.
    My tricks and tips.
    But bub in a bouncer in the bathroom with you. Carry the bouncer around from room to room if needed.
    Or put bub in a wrap or carrier while your older child baths even yet showers.
    Showers ate easier than baths on busy nights. If all else fails give her a basin bath. Get a basin of warm water a wash cloth and wipe her down.

    Call a friend and have a long phone chat.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 01-03-2016 at 18:32.

  7. #7
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    My DH works away a lot. Batch cook and freeze meals ahead. Get help if you can - when my DH goes away for extended periods (ie more than a week) I try to arrange for DS to have a 1 night sleep over at his nanas. If that's not possible, having someone come and stay a night at your place to just help with the bedtime routine helps too.
    If you work try take a day off during that period.

    Without knowing more about your situation it's hard to suggest more, but I try to get a day or half day to myself before my husband goes away. Just to have some solitude and me time, then I cope better with whatever lies ahead.

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    It's tricky when they're so young, and especially when the littlest is so little! When DH went away the first time afree DS2 was born, our kids were about the same age as yours are now. I got my Dad to visit for the week! He wasn't much help actually doing anything in the dinner/bed/bath routine, but he at least kept one child occupied while I dealt with the other.

    DH went away again earlier this month, leaving me with a now 2.5 yo DS and a 6 mo DS.

    Dinner was defrost (pre-cooked meals) or another easy option, like Latina pasta. I left the post-dinner mess clean up until both kids were in bed.

    I bathed both of them at the same time. Before they got in the bath, I put the changemat, nappies and pyjamas on the floor of the bathroom and towels beside the bath, so that I could get the baby dressed while still supervising DS1 in the bath. When DS1 was ready to hop out, DS2 went onto a mat on the floor whiIe I got DS1 ready.

    I breastfed DS2 sitting on my bed in a slightly darkened room, while reading bedtime stories to DS1. Luckily, DS2 would fall asleep and could be easily transferred into his cot, so I could then take DS1 off to his room. Then it was time to clean up and finally to have a shower myself before collapsing exhausted into bed.

    Good luck! Don't beat yourself up if you let something slip for a few days!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentoo View Post
    It's tricky when they're so young, and especially when the littlest is so little! When DH went away the first time afree DS2 was born, our kids were about the same age as yours are now. I got my Dad to visit for the week! He wasn't much help actually doing anything in the dinner/bed/bath routine, but he at least kept one child occupied while I dealt with the other.

    DH went away again earlier this month, leaving me with a now 2.5 yo DS and a 6 mo DS.

    Dinner was defrost (pre-cooked meals) or another easy option, like Latina pasta. I left the post-dinner mess clean up until both kids were in bed.

    I bathed both of them at the same time. Before they got in the bath, I put the changemat, nappies and pyjamas on the floor of the bathroom and towels beside the bath, so that I could get the baby dressed while still supervising DS1 in the bath. When DS1 was ready to hop out, DS2 went onto a mat on the floor whiIe I got DS1 ready.

    I breastfed DS2 sitting on my bed in a slightly darkened room, while reading bedtime stories to DS1. Luckily, DS2 would fall asleep and could be easily transferred into his cot, so I could then take DS1 off to his room. Then it was time to clean up and finally to have a shower myself before collapsing exhausted into bed.

    Good luck! Don't beat yourself up if you let something slip for a few days!
    Agree with this! Hubby just did three months away and my dad stayed with us. I was exhausted mostly because I was packing the house etc so the kids were really confused. Plus missing dad! There sleep turned to crap were all co sleeping now arriving here lol.

    I would just buy pop top water, bulk muesli bars, pre cut cheese 🙈 baby cucumbers twiggy sticks etc things like that depends what you feed your child to snack on lol. I spent most days out! To make bed time easier

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    Pre cooking meals and freezing was great for me too, I'd also cut up cucumber/carrot/cheese for quick snacks.
    What worked best for bed time for me was getting in early, they were in there pj's at least an hour earlier then usual, before they got cranky. Then we'd have some quite, calm time before bed.
    If they kicked up a stink for bed time, I'd load the dishwasher, leave everything else and just go to bed with them.
    I found taking walks good, you get out, they get tired-win, win.
    Don't set yourself up to fail by trying to cram too much into a day, leave some free time in the day to just take it easy.
    I would also remind myself- the house work won't run away, it's ok to cut yourself some slack!


 

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