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  1. #1
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    Default cricket coach angst - how to deal with

    if anyone from my son's cricket team reads here they are about to work out who I am but anyway.

    My 12yo is an elite level cricketer & the captain of his club team. They are playing in finals atm. DS is going through a particularly rough time atm with me being unwell with mental illness - he has been removed from the home by DHS (being juggled between the houses of a couple of his friends) and I am going to a residential treatment place on Monday for a month or so.

    Last weekend he bowled probably the first bad over he ever has so his coach only bowled him the 2 overs (the minimum amount he had to), the lowest of anyone in his team. Because he complained to his coach about it, he was placed lower in the batting order and told it was because he doesn't bat well enough to open (he has retired on the maximum amount of runs every time he has batted this season and only been dismissed once).

    Cue training this week & by his perception he is being treated badly by the coach, the coach's little puppet & the kids of these two grown men. He said that at training none even acknowledged him unless it was to criticise what he was doing.

    I used to manage the team but haven't lately because I've been so unwell. Today he has been barking orders at me by text message to pass on to the team but I have said no since I'm just not up to it. So the latest one I get from him is that my refusal to coordinate the team is me threatening him because my DS isn't getting his own way - this has come after I made comments to him about how upset DS is at how he is being treated.

    So if I do go to the grand final, I will have to face these 2 men and somehow when controlling my impulsiveness atm isn't happening manage to be civil to them. How do I do that and not completely lose it when the mere thought of facing them is sending me into a further spiral of despair than where I already am

  2. #2
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    So the coach is barking orders at you via text? That is not on, and I wouldn't be engaging with him at all. Possibly tell him you are unable to help at the moment due to illness and don't enter into any further correspondence.
    I think you maybe need to let someone else advocate for your son at the moment? The parent he is staying with maybe. I think it is sometimes easy to get caught up in unessesary drama when it comes to our children and a perception they ate being treated badly. I'm not saying it's not happening but that at the moment it is too much for you to be able to deal with from afar and while you are so unwell. So hard to do, of course, I understand that.
    Been thinking of you..glad to hear you are still plodding along x

  3. #3
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    unfortunately the parent he is staying with isn't going to cricket with him - he has been getting picked up from their house to go (she has 4 other young kids so while is happy to have him there is unable to take him to things like that) so is pretty much on his own.

    The frustrating part is that my comments to him didn't even have anything to do with what he did/didn't get to do or him being ignored or anything - was simply if he could please bear in mind that DS is likely to be overemotional & very possibly overreact to things so to please be mindful of that.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by pointless1 View Post
    unfortunately the parent he is staying with isn't going to cricket with him - he has been getting picked up from their house to go (she has 4 other young kids so while is happy to have him there is unable to take him to things like that) so is pretty much on his own.

    The frustrating part is that my comments to him didn't even have anything to do with what he did/didn't get to do or him being ignored or anything - was simply if he could please bear in mind that DS is likely to be overemotional & very possibly overreact to things so to please be mindful of that.
    Mmm, some people are unempathetic muppets... I would just not engage any further. It's the end of the season and your son will get through it... He sounds talented enough that he would thrive anywhere...let it go for this season, concentrate on you getting well and next season you can be there for him. Hang in there!


 

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