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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

    I totally considered being an 'escort' a few years ago.

    Not all of them have sex. Many actually do not- they provide company and dates, especially to corporate events.

    And those that do provide sex, have agreed to it.

    It's a job, like everything else.
    To be honest, if I had the confidence, I would enter the industry, too. Not as a full service s.ex worker though, because I'm not okay with having s.ex with anyone other than DP. But I don't have the confidence and I couldn't deal with the stigma attached. I have thought about it.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    This. I also think a lot, not all do it because they have been abused in the past. And a lot have abusive experiences whilst doing it.

    I actually feel sorry for people that have to do this. I do not judge them in any way. Sometimes people make desperate choices in desperate times.
    Do you consider that some of the women who were abused enter the industry to reclaim what they feel they lost when they were abused? Maybe not all abused women feel that way, but I know there are some where their job helps them recover from the abuse because they actually get to be the ones who decide the rules instead of having their voice taken from them. We hear all the time about those who are miserable while they did s.ex work, but those that aren't are just as valid.
    Last edited by hopeful1986; 24-02-2016 at 16:00.

  4. #43
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    The main issue I have with this is the power imbalance. What does a 50 odd year old man have in common with a 21 year old who's on the cusp of starting her life?

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Do you consider that some of the women who were abused enter the industry to reclaim what they feel they lost when they were abused? Maybe not all abused women feel that way, but I know there are some where their job helps them recover from the abuse because they actually get to be the ones who decide the rules instead of having their voice taken from them. We hear all the time about those who are miserable while they did s.ex work, but those that aren't are just as valid.
    I'm sure there are those for whom the work has little to no impact on them, I'd say they are the exception to the rule though.

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  8. #45
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    For anyone that wants to further read up on this topic, collective shout have lots of really good articles.

  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    The main issue I have with this is the power imbalance. What does a 50 odd year old man have in common with a 21 year old who's on the cusp of starting her life?
    Nothing. But the power is pretty much in the escort's hands. She can say no at any point. And he is paying for something that she is providing. He is, literally, in her hands.

  10. #47
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    I do agree that if they are adults and consenting, it's not really my business. I would personally recoil at doing something like that but ehh.

    But I believe it's a bit more complex than just consenting adults makes it above discussion. What if she is under severe financial stress and having s@x with her sugar Daddy to pay her bills? What if she is a drug addict? Is he just taking advantage of her vulnerable state? What if either of them are married and their partner doesn't know? What if he is an old man who despite recognising she is essentially a prostitute, 'hires' her bc deep down he's desperately lonely and hoping it's a way to meet a younger woman? Is she taking advantage of him knowing that?

    Of course some of these issues arise in proper/traditional relationships but they are usually frowned upon so is this any different?

  11. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Nothing. But the power is pretty much in the escort's hands. She can say no at any point. And he is paying for something that she is providing. He is, literally, in her hands.
    Yeah not really buying that. I can only speak for myself but if I got myself into that situation as a 20 or 21 year old I wouldn't have had the confidence to say no.

    These relationships are about s.ex. Pure and simple.

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  13. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    People that say good for them ,it's empowering etc etc.

    Would you want your children involved in this? Would you want your spouse making a quick extra buck doing this? Your mum? Your dad? Would you be happy he is being a sugar daddy?

    It's always fine with some people until it's in their back yard. Personally I could NEVER pay someone to have sex with me/ hang out with me.
    If one of my children entered the sex industry in some way, my thoughts would vary depending on a few things; is she strong enough to handle it? Does she have a boss that looks out for her? Is she thinking about her future/have an exit job, given this will unlikely last forever? Is she doing this because she wants to?

    As for my dh, no I would not be okay with it. We're in a monogamous marriage. If I met him while he was doing it, I wouldn't judge him.

    As for anyone else I know, the same would apply to if it were my children.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I like this idea in theory. Unfortunately the vast majority of women who do sell their bodies don't come put the other end feeling empowered. Time and time again the stories are of psychological damage and drug addiction.

    We don't live in a world where this is accepted, plain and simple. And it takes a HELL of a lot of guts to go against deeply ingrained societal beliefs around these issues.

    And yep if I found out my daughter was doing this I would not be proud or impressed.
    As I said earlier, maybe different experiences? I'm at an age where it's the 'prime' time to be in the industry, so I know people that are or have been in the industry to varying degree. They're all strong young women and have used it to get good financial security at a young age - to pay for uni or the time needed to study, a house deposit, opening a business (outside of the sex industry). None have ended up in a life of drugs.
    Of those that I know enough to have a conversation about it, there are no regrets and it's something they would do again with hindsight.

  14. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Yeah not really buying that. I can only speak for myself but if I got myself into that situation as a 20 or 21 year old I wouldn't have had the confidence to say no.

    These relationships are about s.ex. Pure and simple.
    You don't have to buy it for it to be true.

    A 20/21 year old doesn't usually have much confidence, sure. But that's hardly the client's fault. And it's hardly taking advantage when you have to pay for the service.
    These things are, for the most part, very well run.

    Of course there is the exception to every rule...

    My friend works as an escort- in 10 years she has had sex with clients less than 15 times. It's not all about sex.

    As for the married people (because women do it too- there are male sex workers) using these services, yes its horrid- IF they are cheating. their wives could well know they use them... I doubt it, but some do.


 

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