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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2016

    Default New mum 30 something and unplanned.

    Hi everyone I'm not sure if this is just for Australians but was just googling sites and foun this one. Anyhow after a few months of not losing any weight on weightwatchers and feeling bloated a lot with slight back ache I found he reason why. Yep up the spout. To say me and o/h were shocked is an understatement . Although together 19 years we weren't planning a baby. So it's all new really and we aren't the most maternal/paternal people lol. I was all for getting rid but he was practical and said maybe it's out time and a blessing and not the child's fault. I'm still confused about whole thing. I'm not sure how far along I am but all the bloating and not losing much weight started just before Christmas. Not taken pill properly which was stupid but I guess I thought oh it won't happen to me. Now o/h talking bout getting married as right thing to do so he child doesn't get picked on for having unmarried parents. I really don't want to be a fat bride. Midwife appointment on 1st match which I'm worried about as no idea how far along I Am or even about my last proper period. All happening so fast and it's crazy. Can't seem to bond with this thing inside me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    A tentative congratulations?

    My advice is that you need to think about what you want, and how you see your future. If you're in your 30s and been together 19 years, you must have made some plans and decisions along the way.

    Can you get a dating scan?

    It will be hard to bond until you know more , i think.

    I don't know where you're from, but in my experience in Australia, kids don't get picked on for having unmarried parents.

    Just my 2 cents☺

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hi and welcome!
    Just wanted to give internet hugs since that all sounds like a big shock. I don't have much advice but a couple of things stood out - first, it's completely understandable if you don't feel like you're bonding with it! Some women get thoroughly attached to the idea of their "baby" as soon as they find out they're pregnant, but it's also completely normal not too, especially if it came as a surprise and you're not sure that having a baby is something you want. So don't beat yourself up about not bonding right away!
    You also don't have to get married if you don't want to. The idea of a child being picked on for having unmarried parents sounds completely crazy to me here, but if you're not in Australia (I'm guessing UK?), your culture might be different? You could always get married in a few years if that was something you wanted.
    As for the actual pregnancy, I guess you just need to find out how far along you are before considering anything else. Are you able to get dating scans where you are? Otherwise I assume they'll do that at your midwife appointment.


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