Thanks everyone for your kind words.
I had a good think today......... I reminded myself that there are people out there who can't even fall pregnant, people who pay lot more then $177 and come out with heartache. People who can't wait to hold their babies to only see them sleep for a brief time and to never see them again.
How selfish I feel. Yes its hard and yes it's not what I planned and not my ideal pregnancy, however who is not to say at week 20 I have that glow and don't need any medication. If doing what I am now means a higher percentage of a baby then I shouldn't complain. The money part will hurt but it's not for life I will buy everything second hand and cut back on food bill and petrol etc. I have a lot more then some families. We have our home tho a mortgage I feel is highly overrated and puts a lot of strain on a family........ We bought a cheap house, our house isn't perfect but it's a roof.
I have access to a councillor through my autism support group so will pop in and see her just to off load my thoughts
Positive of it all..........at least I know that I really want this baby.
I'm sorry to whinge but I just had to off load cause no one knows we are pregnant so it's not like I can call mum and blurt my tears out.
It's not the end of the world rather another learning curve that I maybe able to help someone with down the track.
Thank you so much lovies for lending me your shoulders and time I appreciate it.