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  1. #51
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    I'm in the unusual position of having worked in childcare law. I've dealt with cases involving alleged sexual behaviour between children.

    First of all, this is a notifiable event under their insurance policy. You might want to make sure they've notified their insurer. Hopefully they'll pass it on to a lawyer, who'll then tell them what to do.

    Second, as mandatory reporters, they do need to report this as there is a possibility that a child is being abused.

    You've also got to realise that if all of this information is coming from a child and it wasn't witnessed, that no one is going to be entirely sure what happened. Plus there's no requirement for 'hawkeye' supervision so the fact it wasn't witnessed means nothing in a legal sense (that argument can actually backfire in court). Coming in cold, it could also be suggested that the child making the allegations is the one being abused and she's making it up based on something that happened at home. This is absolutely not me suggesting that's what happened, but I'm trying to let you know how this kind of thing is dealt with from a cold, objective, unemotional perspective. They look at all options. It's actually very difficult to handle this when the allegations have come only from the child.

    The last thing is that I've read many psych reports on kids who've had stuff like this happen. What becomes clear is that the parents' reaction means everything. She doesn't need to understand what a terrible thing this was if she hasn't come up with that reaction herself. She needs to know that people can't touch her like that, but the kids that come out damaged are often the ones where the parents were breaking down in front of them, taking them out of care, screaming and yelling in front of them about the other child, fighting with each other and generally letting them know how bad it was.

    Anyway, the centre should be notifying their insurer, DHS and have a plan in place to stop this happening again. If they're shadowing both kids it sounds like they're doing that.

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  3. #52
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    Why is this even being discussed online on an open forum?? If that happened to my child I sure a hell wouldn't be posting it online. I feel bad for the dad having had this aired in a public place.

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  5. #53
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    I actually think the OP shouldn't fly home. I know she desperately wants to be with her child, but I'm not sure she can control bed emotions on this situation which could make it worse.

    I think the dad has things under control. I do agree he should have told her though.

    You need to think what's best for the child, not what's best for the parents.

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  7. #54
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    @VicPark I think you would be the first to jump up and down that there are two sides to every story and, in this case, we've managed to hear them. I'd also hazard a guess that you wouldn't sit back and watch if your dh sent you a link to a forum where everyone is flaming you.


    As to the OP and her dh - you need to keep her environment as normal as you can right now. If the centre has stated they will take all measures possible to ensure this doesn't happen again, I would continue to send her, at least for the meantime.

    Sure, telling the OP straight away would have been ideal, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. It sounds like he did this with the best intentions and holding a grudge isn't going to change what happened. Try to put that part behind you and focus on your daughter.

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  9. #55
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    I stick to my original thoughts, if a young child is saying someone has done this particular act on her, it does not come out of thin air, so something is going on and I would have aired this in a public forum. Not the place for very personal matter involving the abuse of a young child

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    *would not*

  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by crystal4431 View Post
    I stick to my original thoughts, if a young child is saying someone has done this particular act on her, it does not come out of thin air, so something is going on and I would have aired this in a public forum. Not the place for very personal matter involving the abuse of a young child
    They're asking for advice/having a vent to people removed from the situation. No names or identifying details were mentioned.

  12. #58
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    Hi there. Been through something similar to this.
    My immediate concern is for the child who allegedly committed the sexual assault.
    This behaviour is abnormal and definitely needs addressing.
    I've never heard of "waiting for another report" before.
    This is actually a Police matter.
    At the first instance, Police should have been notified.
    At the very least, the Director should have gone through her mandated procedures which are supported by legislation and are nationwide policies.
    The fact that the Director has not informed the parents leaves her wide open to legal action.

    You guys need to develop a plan of attack to make sure this is addressed and that, if it is true, that the offending child gets help and your child is assisted also.

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  14. #59
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    It's really important that you report this to the appropriate body in your state nsw - community services helpline or other states have DHS department of human services. You mentioned this was child care. This behaviour is not developmentally/age appropriate and like you said it is more then likely this child has seen or been victim of such acts and this needs to be investigated. The director has a duty of care to report such an incident to aforementioned bodies. However you should also do so, whilst doing this you can equire what services are available for you and your daughter during this time.

    I can't stress enough how important it is to report before another child is assaulted.

  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Tickle View Post
    Hi there. Been through something similar to this.
    My immediate concern is for the child who allegedly committed the sexual assault.
    This behaviour is abnormal and definitely needs addressing.
    I've never heard of "waiting for another report" before.
    This is actually a Police matter.
    At the first instance, Police should have been notified.
    At the very least, the Director should have gone through her mandated procedures which are supported by legislation and are nationwide policies.
    The fact that the Director has not informed the parents leaves her wide open to legal action.

    You guys need to develop a plan of attack to make sure this is addressed and that, if it is true, that the offending child gets help and your child is assisted also.
    But they shouldn't be telling anyone else if they have informed the parents? It's a total breach of confidentiality.


 

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