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  1. #11
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    Default TRIGGER WARNINGMy child was molested by another child at daycare...what shoul...

    Of course you should go home now - especially considering you do not rate your husbands response to what has happened!

    How old are the kids? That's a key factor. Have you considered the possibility that your husband has misinterpreted what your DD said or that you DD has miscommunicated what happened? My ds1 is 4 and still can't clearly articulate what has happened sometimes - plenty of opportunity for crossed wires.

    I don't mean to be dismissive just find it really hard to believe this happened without a staff member seeing, impossible to believe that your DH sent your DD back to daycare after his happened (major wtf!) and am having great difficulty understanding why you haven't already booked your plane ticket back home.

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  3. #12
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    Default TRIGGER WARNINGMy child was molested by another child at daycare...what shoul...

    Oh my gosh OP. That's horrific. I'd be on the first plane home esp because hubby kept sending her.

    I would report the incident to everywhere and anywhere including the lack of concern the centre showed towards the incident.

    And tbh I'd have to have hubby restrain me from the carers and child, even though I know it would be wrong.

    I'm sorry. Hugs hugs hugs.

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  5. #13
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    Oh my goodness this is horrific. I am so not sure of what needs to happen but I would think for starters a call to bravehearts (the child advocacy group) would be a good idea.
    If it were my daughter i would actually call the police and child services to find out if an official report and investigation can be raised. That is not normal child behaviour and needs to be followed up intensively to ascertain why it has happened and provide psychological support to the other child to ensure it does not happen again.
    How is your DD? Is she aware of the gravity of what has happened? Bravehearts should provide you with advice as to next steps for support for your DD and how to manage this as parents.
    No one can tell you what to do regarding being home or not but yes if it were my DD I would be going home asap citing a family emergency.
    If your employer cracks it then unashamedly tell them what occurred and they will realize where you need to be.
    My thoughts are with you and your DD. I can't fathom this situation. Hopefully you can access some appropriate professional support asap for both of you.

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  7. #14
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    I'd be on the first plane home. Tell work that you've had a family emergency and you must go home immediately. I cannot believe your DH took 2 days to tell you this.

    I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. From an outsiders point of view, daycare is going to have confidentiality factors in play and you probably won't get much more out of them imo. I would be removing her from care immediately, and contacting your states child safety authorities and also Bravehearts immediately.

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Of course you should go home now - especially considering you do not rate your husbands response to what has happened!

    How old are the kids? That's a key factor. Have you considered the possibility that your husband has misinterpreted what your DD said or that you DD has miscommunicated what happened? My ds1 is 4 and still can't clearly articulate what has happened sometimes - plenty of opportunity for crossed wires.

    I don't mean to be dismissive just find it really hard to believe this happened without a staff member seeing, impossible to believe that your DH sent your DD back to daycare after his happened (major wtf!) and am having great difficulty understanding why you haven't already booked your plane ticket back home.
    Thank you! Your response is everything I am thinking. The disturbing part was the fact my daughter described in such detail what had happened. I have had concerns with the lack of supervision in he past - there is huge outdoor area and sometimes the staff don't seem to watching the children close enough - I know they are busy but perhaps a little understaffed. DH, my mum and his mum are all told me not to catch a flight home so in between crying and yelling at DH I missed booking the last flight. there's one at 6am that I will be on though. I just needed someone to tell me I wasn't be irrational (which is what everyone else seems to be doing)

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Oh my gosh OP. That's horrific. I'd be on the first plane home esp because hubby kept sending her.

    I would report the incident to everywhere and anywhere including the lack of concern the centre showed towards the incident.

    And tbh I'd have to have hubby restrain me from the carers and child, even though I know it would be wrong.

    I'm sorry. Hugs hugs hugs.
    I thought like you at first, about just attacking the carers and child but then I thought it would be worse for my daughter if I made a big scene and was arrested. My daughter is acting fine but I know she's going to miss her friends. I'm so angry this has happened!!!

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  13. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Oh my goodness this is horrific. I am so not sure of what needs to happen but I would think for starters a call to bravehearts (the child advocacy group) would be a good idea.
    If it were my daughter i would actually call the police and child services to find out if an official report and investigation can be raised. That is not normal child behaviour and needs to be followed up intensively to ascertain why it has happened and provide psychological support to the other child to ensure it does not happen again.
    How is your DD? Is she aware of the gravity of what has happened? Bravehearts should provide you with advice as to next steps for support for your DD and how to manage this as parents.
    No one can tell you what to do regarding being home or not but yes if it were my DD I would be going home asap citing a family emergency.
    If your employer cracks it then unashamedly tell them what occurred and they will realize where you need to be.
    My thoughts are with you and your DD. I can't fathom this situation. Hopefully you can access some appropriate professional support asap for both of you.
    Thank you! you are right about just telling my employer if it comes to that. And contacting the police is probably a very good idea. How might brave hearts help?

  14. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mutex View Post
    DH, my mum and his mum are all told me not to catch a flight home )
    Tell your DH to eff off. Ignore your mum and mil - they don't get an effin vote.

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  16. #19
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    Bravehearts provide counseling for child victims of sexual abuse and their family members. They are experts in this area so should give good advice about what steps to take, how to discuss with DD, how to manage things etc. you can phone them 8am-8pm
    http://bravehearts.org.au/pages/crisis-and-advocacy.php
    You are definitely not overreacting. Definitely not.

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  18. #20
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    Default TRIGGER WARNINGMy child was molested by another child at daycare...what shoul...

    O my gosh you poor thing, what an aweful situation to be put in and have to deal with, i would definatly be coming home asap, even though ur daughter mite not realise the enormity of the situation as she grows up it may become an issue for her when she realises what happened to her is very very wrong.
    I'd also be reporting that incident to all services and police id be demanding the child care facility for answers and to how this could have occurred and what they will be doing in response to this report they legally have an obligation to address this.
    Also this young boy and his parents need to be investigated he has obviously been exposed to material or even himself molested to even know that action. It may be that he has been exposed to porn very early and is acting out what he has seen without realising what this means and for his sake this needs to be addressed! I work in a medical centre and have heard of children re enact horrible things that children should not be doing or even know about they are then referred to services that handle this so this child also needs help in regards to his behaviour.
    Your little girl is the most important in this situation and I'd be demanding answers and action, really hope you get this resolved


 

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