Because unfortunately it's sometimes the parents/guardians who are the perpetrators - child services have trained staff who stay /interview the kids and make sure there is someone there to look after them, if it's serious they go straight into emergency foster care
I think the parent/guardian does need to be told DHS is being notified, but they don't need to be in the room when the child is questioned.
Oh my gosh what an awful situation- for everyone involved.
OP I, like you, would be furious that my husband had kept such information from me. HOWEVER, I would be able to understand his reasoning.
FWIW, mine would not keep it from me, but that's mainly because I have worked in childcare and dealt with similar incidents in the past, and he knows I would trust his judgement and deal with it my way, if necessary, later.
I, on the other hand, WOULD keep it from him in the same situation- he would not handle it well, and would be very emotional. Quite rightly too, but it wouldn't actually help anyone.
I would have continued to send my daughter to care also, if she was happy to go and wasn't distressed/continually repeating the incident/etc.
And, based on @TheDad info, would be ok with the centre's response for the present. I would continue to touch base and question things though.
Having said all that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you feeling that his response was not up to scratch- as it is fine for him to feel that it is and you are not taking it well.... there is no wrong reaction to something like this.
I hope the centre is able to provide you with reassurance and deal with it well. And I hope your daughter is ok (and the boy involved too).
Best of luck.
Thought this might be appropriate to share for this thread.
ETA: Actually, hope the link doesn't get me busted for explicit language.
Hope the OP's family is doing ok.
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