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  1. #1
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    Default TRIGGER WARNINGMy child was molested by another child at daycare...what should I do??

    Hi, I just want advice on what other mums would do in this situation?

    The 'incident' occurred on Monday, I only found out lunchtime today. In which a boy pulled my daughters pants down and licked her vagina...yes you read that right. I am beyond sickened and disgusted and so ridiculously furious that this happened. The worst part is I am in another state for work and my husband told me what had happened 2 days AFTER it had happened...meanwhile he CONTINUED TO SEND OUR DAUGHTERS to daycare!!! he told the teachers what had happened (our daughter told my husband the teachers did not see it) and they said they would keep a close eye on my daughter and keep her away from the boy. How can they keep an eye on my daughter constantly when there's 2 teachers to a class room full of children?! Furthermore the director said they can't "expel" the other child until there's another report against them!! Oh, So it's OK to molest once but twice and your out. I know it's not the child's fault and that there's a very real possibility that he has been molested but now I cannot send my child to daycare, she cannot see her friends because I'm terrified she might get molested AGAIN on the playground!!! I'm also concerned for the other children and I also just want to confront the other child's parents and get answers. I mean that is REALLY not normal what the **** are they doing in front of that child!!!

    So obviously I'm an absolute ****ing wreck - if I hadn't been away working this never would have happened. I have told my (****ing idiot) husband to not send them to daycare tomorrow so he will be staying home with our children. I only have 1 week of work left but should I just go home tomorrow morning so I can sort this out properly and be with my daughter? What should I say to the daycare? they have been notified and they let the other child's parents know but I feel like that's not good enough!!!

    sorry if this made no sense I am beyond furious!!!

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    Oh God u poor thing, I would feel horrified :-( yes it is definitely not normal behaviour.

    If I were in your situation I know I wouldn't be able to concentrate on work and would feel a strong need to get back and deal with it all. But that's me.

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    Default My child was molested by another child at daycare...what should I do??

    Oh wow. How shocking and yes disbelieving.

    Are there cameras at the daycare? See if it was caught on camera, I would also approach the teachers and have a meeting....

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    Legally I'm pretty sure the carers have to report these inappropriate incidents/complaints to family services and they will do a report and interview the children and parents so I would call them tomorrow first thing and see what the procedures are first

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    Thanks for the reply, that's what I was thinking. The only problem with going home is that I was meant to give a presentation on Friday so work will think I am avoiding the presentation as I missed it last week due to being sick. therefore I will not be able to get a reference from them and they are a huge company that could help pave the way for my career. I feel like saying 'family problems' just sounds like a huge excuse but I don't want to go into details
    But my baby is much more important than any career.

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    This thread needs a 'trigger warning' added asap, please mods.

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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    This thread needs a 'trigger warning' added asap, please mods.

    Oh sorry! can I fix that?? How?

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    People can see the word 'molested' in the title so I think that is a sufficient warning.

    U haveto do what u feel is right, but what a tricky situation . Perhaps u could say family crisis.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    Oh wow. How shocking and yes disbelieving.

    Are there cameras at the daycare? See if it was caught on camera, I would also approach the teachers and have a meeting....
    good idea about the cameras. I doubt they have them but I'll ask. My husband has sat down with the director but she just said they can't do anything unless there's another report.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Legally I'm pretty sure the carers have to report these inappropriate incidents/complaints to family services and they will do a report and interview the children and parents so I would call them tomorrow first thing and see what the procedures are first
    Thanks for the info. I'll call first thing tomorrow.

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    I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter and I can completely understand your feelings at the moment.

    I just wanted to say that it's possible there is other stuff that has happened that the staff can't divulge for confidentiality reasons ie making a mandated report etc. so I would recommend speaking in person to the director from the perspective of a) finding out how it was possible for this to happen (staff:child ratios sound a bit off?), b) how they can ensure your daughters safety in the future, and c) how they can support your family to provide counselling/follow up if needed.

    If you are dissatisfied with their response, call the Education Department in your state and inform them of a critical incident.

    In other words, as angry as you feel with the other child, try and keep your focus on your DD to help you and the centre to be proactive. I'm in shock that this could happen, and I hope that you and your family are ok.

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