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  1. #61
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    Default Why won't she sleep?!

    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post

    Hoping she eventually gets used to sleeping with me! She does it occasionally when I feed her lying down in bed and it's the sweetest thing ever.
    I always liked the idea of co sleeping, in particular snuggling up for a daytime nap together. But both babies and I just couldn't figure it out.

    I tried again when dd1 was closer to 3 when she was sick but nope, she was lying on my head and just didn't understand how to spoon lol.

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Hugs. It is rough when you are desperate for a decent nights sleep. Some kids are just awful sleepers. And they become crap adult sleepers too. I know I'm married to one. Dispatched him to the spare room last night cos his tossing and turning was driving me mental. He was bloody awful as a kid. Dropped his naps at 14mths old. His poor mum.

    Thankfully my kids resemble me in the sleeping department. They all pass out once I'm near them. I must bore them to tears. Hahaha.
    I am the terrible sleeper in the family. In my half sleep I was both kicking and trying to push/roll onto DH last night. Woke up and realised what I was doing. Then woke up in bed with DS in the morning. Maybe I was sleepwalking??? (did that when I was younger).

    So DS sleeps like me. Kicks, rolls, hard to get to sleep, falls off bed lol. My parents also told me I could not be left alone in the cot and they spent hours patting bum/holding hand etc.

    So I get it is hard to cosleep when you have a wriggling/kicking/squirming baby. Especially in your instance when there is pain for you.

    Do you have a room big enough where you can put the queen mattress on the floor and either the cot/king single mattress next to it. I am thinking the queen mattress is fatter so the baby can wriggle and kick on the small mattress yet you are there and close enough to not be affected?

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I am the terrible sleeper in the family. In my half sleep I was both kicking and trying to push/roll onto DH last night. Woke up and realised what I was doing. Then woke up in bed with DS in the morning. Maybe I was sleepwalking??? (did that when I was younger).

    So DS sleeps like me. Kicks, rolls, hard to get to sleep, falls off bed lol. My parents also told me I could not be left alone in the cot and they spent hours patting bum/holding hand etc.

    So I get it is hard to cosleep when you have a wriggling/kicking/squirming baby. Especially in your instance when there is pain for you.

    Do you have a room big enough where you can put the queen mattress on the floor and either the cot/king single mattress next to it. I am thinking the queen mattress is fatter so the baby can wriggle and kick on the small mattress yet you are there and close enough to not be affected?
    Yeah I have thought about moving the mattress to the floor especially as she is rolling around and not far off crawling as I'm worried about her ending up on the floor so it may be something we try soon.
    One of those funny pre-child declarations out the window. I was always like no our room is our room it's for adults baby has their own room they're not coming in here. Reality: She has EVERY room 😂

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  6. #64
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    Hey Hun, you poor thing!

    My DS didn't wake as much as your DD but he has been under the 3rd percentile most of his life (after being the 50th percentile at birth) and was a terrible eater. Wanted to feed himself but just couldn't get the hang of BLW (most of it ended up on his lap, tray and the ground). He was a booby monster and didn't take a bottle of anything!

    He would wake between 2 and 3 times a night and would always have a good feed then back to sleep. His wakefulness was caused by little solids and a feed to sleep association but given his weight issues I wouldn't with hold anything from him.

    We finally got him on a bottle (straw cup actually) and solids (but not much) at 14 months after we weaned him. Weaning was the only thing that helped his sleep. After 3 nights he was sleeping through 50-75% of the time for 3 weeks and now sleeps through 9 out of 10 nights.

    So my theory on your DD (you can take it or leave it) is that she probably won't sleep better until she gets the hang of solids and that could still be many months away.

    Second thought is that as any parent who wishes to change their children's sleeping 'habits' they're desperate and try a million different things! It becomes in consistent and bubs gets confused and don't know if they're Arthur or Mathur! Your days seem pretty good, but I would come up with a plan for when you will breastfeed and for how long and when you offer solids and stick to the exact same timings for a few weeks. So if bubs doesn't eat solids at your chosen times, accept it for that day and try the same time the day after.

    Same with night wakings. Choose what you want to do and stick to it religiously. Eg. First wake up rock cot on wheels until asleep, second wake do the same, every other wake after that feed (for example). What ever it is, sick to it and don't deviate. Have a think of what small things worked best at sleep school and in the days after, choose that method and stick to it.

    Hopefully with consistency around offering solids at the exact same times and doing the exact same settling techniques every night bubs will become used to it after a few weeks or even months.

    Lastly I can't recommend any higher the paediatric sleep psychologist Sarah Blunden or her colleague. As I've said they are gentle methods all based around paediatric psychology and they've seen it ALL and aren't bound by the government 'regulation advice' CYH / your sleep school were giving you.
    @Pearlygirl used them too with great success as did I.

    Good luck hon. You're doing an amazing job ❤️

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    Default Why won't she sleep?!

    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Yeah I have a feeling it's just the way she is. Poor little muffin. I have a bed in her room and I go and 'sleep' in there when she starts with the waking as its easier than going back and forth. Sometimes I'll leave the lamp on so she can see me. Have also pushed the cot next to my bed so we could hold hands one night
    I wish she'd just settle in bed with me as I'd just cosleep from now on but she just kicks me constantly, hits me and tosses and turns and with my pelvis/back problems I wake up and can't walk from being contorted around her so it's no good for either of us sadly 😔
    I don't know if you've read my story before but DS gradually slept better after he self-weaned at 13 months, he went from waking every 2 hours one week to eat and me crying to DH that he would never stop breastfeeding to literally going cold turkey and wanting nothing to do with me the following week. After he self weaned he woke for one bottle and maybe once more for a quick resettle. This is after months of him waking loads and me in despair that he'd never sleep well. Then at 16/17 months, literally the day he mastered walking, he slept through and has been a master sleeper ever since! I genuinely believe it was all developmental for him and no matter what I did, once he was ready he was ready.

    So there is still hope. ☺️

    Eta: I should add that he had stopped the bottle before mastering the walking but was still waking a couple times to be resettled.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 17-02-2016 at 23:28.

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  10. #66
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    @A-Squared makes sense.

    For me boob/bedsharing fixes everything. My kids get boob/popped into bed with me from the day they are born. So that's all they know and so their reaction is predictable.

    Whatever you decide to do or think your baby needs- do it and stick to it for at least 2-3wks. Don't deviate from it even if it's not working. Like last night dd3 was apparently up from 2-4am (she is teething and chatty not grumpy) but I just popped her next to me and went back to sleep. I only know she was awake as dh is whinging this morning that her singing is keeping him awake.

    I know you are struggling but try to remember that each child is so different. What works for one kid may not work for the other and THAT is OK! Their personalities, metabolisms all vary as do our parenting styles and practices. Accepting this makes parenting easier and much less stressful. Parent to your child.


    Xoox

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  12. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post


    Whatever you decide to do or think your baby needs- do it and stick to it for at least 2-3wks. Don't deviate from it even if it's not working. Like last night dd3 was apparently up from 2-4am (she is teething and chatty not grumpy) but I just popped her next to me and went back to sleep. I only know she was awake as dh is whinging this morning that her singing is keeping him awake.
    I love DH's. One night of interrupted sleep and it's the end of the world lol.

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  14. #68
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    So she woke at midnight and I thought I'd feed her to avoid a repeat of the 3hr midnight party we had the night before in case that was hunger related. She went straight back to sleep. Then woke at 4 so I fed her again she went back to sleep but didn't feed much. So I think resettling at the 12am wake up (which I've been doing for a while) then feeding once (bigger feed) around 2-3am is a better option than her having 2 snack feeds during the night. I find she wakes earlier for the day with 2 feeds overnight too. Not sure why.
    But in all 2 wake ups and straight back to sleep was a good night.

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    Default Why won't she sleep?!

    Hey @gingermillie

    Solids improving sleep can be a bit of an urban myth depending who you talk to ( or so some of us believe and with respect to PP ) . There was a recent study done in Wales where 300+ families all monitored solids v sleep and it made nil difference..

    ( saying that tho my friend in the UK breastfeeds and gives one huge bottle of formula before bed and gets a good 5hr stretch.. Would you consider trying one bottle of formula after your bedtime breastfeed to really fill her belly? )

    Solid food also maybe the issue tho. My DD is doing baby led weaning so eating whole foods. Cue hourly/two hourly wake ups for while and I noticed things like broccoli gave her gas after dinner about 2am. Their tummies are still getting used to food so sleep tends to be disturbed when starting solids for a while. Try some non gassy simple foods and lots of water with meals and see if that helps.. Are you doing BLW or purées? Now my DD is getting used to it she's pulled an 11hr stretch with only one wake up.. Unheard of!

    Second guess might be she's too hot. I don't know about SA but it's really warm in Sydney! All mine has on is a legless Onsie and a Muslin bag if cools down during the night. Maybe play around with layers. My DD felt stone cold last night when she woke for a feed yet slept really well. Can't hurt to try!

    Good luck 🍀
    Last edited by amiracle4me; 18-02-2016 at 19:52.

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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Hey @gingermillie

    Food maybe the issue tho. My DD is doing baby led weaning so eating whole foods. Cue hourly/two hourly wake ups for while and I noticed things like broccoli gave her gas after dinner about 2am. Their tummies are still getting used to food so sleep tends to be disturbed when starting solids for a while. Try some non gassy simple foods and lots of water with meals and see if that helps.. Are you doing BLW or purées? Now my DD is getting used to it she's pulled an 11hr stretch with only one wake up.. Unheard of!

    🍀
    Can I second this? My dd's sleep went from slightly dodgy to downright atrocious when we introduced solids! Her little body was really struggling to digest all these new foods. It took a few months for her system to really adjust.

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