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  1. #1
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    Default A Sensitive subject

    As a child and teen too actually I was constantly made fun of for something...my appearance...my weight....so much. I got bullied at primary school and high school a lot. I never said anything and just dealt with it. In year 12 it got better but there was always something. As a result and i developed extreme social anxiety, lack of self esteem and cofidence and a lot of self loathing and even thoughts of suicide and self harm. Till this day i find it hard to answer a phone call at times unless it's from my mum.

    My son started prep this year. After school like any kid he likes to play on the equipment for a bit. I sit on the seats in front to watch him. Same kids walk past leaving class. For a few days now I have noticed that some kids are actually laughing at me..saying something to their friend and laughing...i brushed it off once cause i thought it might be due to the way i was sitting...being overweight i tend to sit with my legs open without realising....but i was wearing a long dress so nothing inappropriate showing. Same thing has happened 2 days in a row...and this time it seems to be happening by the siblings too. The brother stuck his tongue out at me and blew a raspberry...one yesterday kept looking back at me as i looked at her and waved from afar...basically being a smarty pants. One kid walks past me today...different one and says something to his sister, laughs and waves too.

    This stuff is not them saying something to their friends and then they just happen to catch my gaze...this is them intentionally doing this. They might be in grade 2+.

    And I am aware these are kids and I'm 37 years old but it seriously giving me hightened anxiety that i don't want to do drop off and pick up again. The scars of my childhood have never left. I can't forget.

    I am thinking to speak to the parents next time I see them...but I don't want to be laughed at because I'm an adult and they are children.

    Should I say something ? I hate that this is affecting me this way still.
    Last edited by ProudMumma34; 16-02-2016 at 16:57.

  2. #2
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    Kids can be cruel, and they tend to only laugh and make fun of others if they are in a group. If it is one kid on their own, they wouldn't do it, plus some kids learn this type of behaviour off their parents. It's not fun having a weight issue. I have had a weight issue since I was a kid, and it affected my self esteem. I am 37 weeks pregnant with my third, and after she is born, I will be taking myself to Weight Watchers to get to a healthy weight. I am pushing 100kg, the heaviest I have ever been. As hard as it is, please just try and ignore them.

  3. #3
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    Hi,

    I think you should say something. If they are acting this way to you, they are probably doing it to other kids as well. If you don't feel confident talking to the parents, maybe call the school and make a general complaint. They would then hopefully bring it up as a general topic on how not to behave with the grade.

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    Hugs OP , it sucks dealing with social anxiety and you are doing such a great job!
    I agree this needs to be addressed with these kids somehow, as you don't know if they'll do this to other kids as well. If you feel comfortable bringing it up with their parents then that's what I'd do first off, but if not I'd bring it up with the school. And if you didn't get anywhere with their parents I'd bring it up to the school then too.

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    Hun are you sure they are laughing at you? As opposed to happening to be laughing at something else when they walk past you? Unless you can hear what they are saying maybe they aren't making fun of you?

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    Urgh I know it sucks but the second you respond it's game on. I don't know why they're doing it. But you need to just pull out your smart phone and ignore them. They do things for a reaction. Don't give them one.

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    Thanks guys....Yep VicPark it's definitely not just matter of factly attention...today was the 2nd time it happened by the same family...yesterday going past me twice...and when one of the siblings saw i was looking at them they held my gaze as they got further away. And today the brother of the girl that i noticed yesterday just looked at me and stuck his tongue out for about 10 secs then blew the raspberry at me. If it was just that they happened to look my way then it would be once off...where I sit is in the main part of the school where a lot of traffic happens at end of school day.

    I'm thinking to give it a week before i mention anything because sayingthat this is happening for 2 days might come across as childish ? I dunno.

    Also i don't know the names of these kids but I can identify them and i noticed that one of the siblings comes out of the same door that my son does so possibly same class as him too.

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    Default A Sensitive subject

    Im sorry it's causing you so much anxiety. Kids can be so cruel. I think there's two ways you can deal with this behaviour. The first is to see which classroom they're coming from and discuss this behaviour with their teacher after school. Raise it in a "just wanted to let you know I've seen those kids do xyz" but don't mention you think it's directed at you. Let them see you talking to their teacher, look in their direction, make sure they know you're talking about them etc.
    The second is avoid them. Is there another meeting point you can meet your DS? At least for a week or so, they'll probably forget all about it before moving on to something else. It will blow ever soon.
    Eta- I just wanted to add I have anxiety proudmamma and I understand where you are coming from
    Last edited by My Beloved Ones; 16-02-2016 at 21:31.

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    Default A Sensitive subject

    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    Thanks guys....Yep VicPark it's definitely not just matter of factly attention...today was the 2nd time it happened by the same family...yesterday going past me twice...and when one of the siblings saw i was looking at them they held my gaze as they got further away. And today the brother of the girl that i noticed yesterday just looked at me and stuck his tongue out for about 10 secs then blew the raspberry at me.
    So they are looking at you looking at them? And then when the gaze-off becomes too much you get anxious and the kids blow a Raspberry?

    I don't meant to be condescending - I can see your pain is real. It's just from my perspective the evidence isn't overwhelming. The chance for misinterpretation is too high comfort.

    Can you trial not looking at the kids? Just fluff around on your phone like I do all the time?

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    They are probably wondering why you are looking at them..?


 

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