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  1. #1
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    Unhappy three yr old son is a monster.

    This has probably been written about several times before but i don't have the energy to search thru all the other posts. PLease grab a coffee and a slice of cake as this is going to be a long post!

    My son is three next month (march) and i am having a lot of issues with his behaviour.

    Behaviour: E is a very active boy (and i am not exagerating ) he has a lot of trouble focusing on one task for longer than 25 seconds (i have timed him out of interest). He is constantly bouncing from one activity to the next with out ever seeming interested or focused on what is happening, i try to help him engage in the planned activity but fail every time. we spend a lot of time outside riding bikes, playing on the tramp or just running around climbing or swimming at the pool.

    He has a 6yr old sister who is really not enjoying spending time with him as it always results in her in tears because E has either hit, bitten, kicked or hurt her in some way. (yes i know his sister is no angel but she is more of a yeller than a hitter)
    His first reaction when faced with conflict is to growl and tense up then the fists come out and its on!

    We have arranged for a thinking chair to be placed in the laundry for both E and his sister to use when we are faced with needing to tell the off, the chair works for Es sister but fails terribly with him. I am constantly having to place him back on the chair whilst wearing full body armour to protect myself from him. he back chats telling us to get on the thinking chair and has recently started telling us to 'shut up'.
    I had enough one day and smacked him (was a compete shock to me and him) but it did nothing at all.

    E has delayed speech but has improved a lot and we are working with a speech path to fix his issues. I don't feel his speech is really any part of his behaviour. E is really stubborn and to get him to listen to requests is a major task. he has enough language skills to get his message through.

    He eats a fairly clean diet and most snack items are home made. so if it is diet related im not sure where to start in ruling items out.

    I need help and i dont know where to turn to. I am a qualified childcare worker and in 9yrs of working i havent experienced a child this bad that hasnt been diagnosed with a mental/behavioural issue.

    is some one able to help me??

  2. #2
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    Have you had him assessed? He may be on the spectrum.

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    My DS is exactly exactly the same, I took him to paediatrician and playgroups ( because I thought there was perhaps a social delay)
    I was literally tearing my hair out and it's kills me to say this but I did not enjoy spending time with him because he was so destructive and angry. I was getting panic attacks everytime I would attempt to leave the house with him because I knew whether it be a park, shopping centre or a friends house that all hell would break loose.
    I ended up taking him to a child psychologist who specialises in play therapy, she diagnosed anxiety and together with ongoing sessions and at home activities I can say the improvement is remarkable
    It's so hard when they are little but as he has gotten older he has realised that good choices gets you better rewards in relation to behaviour that wasn't a direct result of his anxiety and in return I have picked up on his signals when he is becoming anxious and I can either stop and work through the situation with him, try a distraction or we can leave.

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    I would definitely speak to a professional about getting him assessed. He mustn't process things the same way so might need to be dealt with differently.

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    Post to return

  7. #6
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    I am currently in the process of working out how one goes about doing that.

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    Ha that's why I used vague wording 😄.
    But maybe your GP is a good place to start

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    Quote Originally Posted by lisaandshaun View Post
    I am currently in the process of working out how one goes about doing that.
    Start with your gp. They will give you a referral to the appropriate services.

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    ok, where can I begin..... My son has a short attention span only to things he doesn't like. He has a sister also and jealousy does play a role as well.

    I don't do much with him because he doesn't like to, both my kids are in dependant in that sense.

    I wouldn't worry personally, and Drs are very quick to come up with diagnoses of any sort. And give medication out.

    Have you tried the following?
    Asking him what he would like to do for the day?
    What he wants to wear?
    Where to go?
    What he would like to eat? Etc

    Maybe do cooking together....pancakes? Muffins?
    Gardening? Etc

    Have you told him that his behaviour is bad and no one likes being hurt and it upsets them?

    I've tried the chair, the corner, put him outside, it doesn't work, his stubborn.

    By all means go to a gp and get referred. There's also a bunch of websites to refer to.

    Good luck and your not alone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    I wouldn't worry personally, and Drs are very quick to come up with diagnoses of any sort. And give medication out.
    Sorry, but I do not think this is accurate. GP's are not going to diagnose something like ASD for example. They will refer out to a paed.

    OP, I agree with previous posters - do take your DS to a GP and explain your concerns. 3 year olds are often extremely challenging behaviour wise, but it's better to be cautious by having your concerns explored with an expert.

    If there is something more serious involved, it is best to get a firm diagnosis as quickly as possible.

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