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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    My son is nearly 5. He knows which friends have had birthdays and who is to come. Im not sure how he would tell his friends he had his birthday but they weren't invited if we were to do a small family birthday. He loves them so much and loves going to his friends birthdays. If you have small birthdays and big birthdays on alternate years how do your kids find this in a school situation? Just genuinely curious.
    When we have a small party DS will usually invite his mothers group friends that he has had since birth rather than his school friends. Big parties will include both groups.
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  2. #62
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    When I was a kid, we were allowed to have a birthday party every second year. On the other years, we just had a family dinner or did something small. I don't think kids need to have a big party every year, as long as their birthday is acknowledged and celebrated.

    Although having said that, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a party every year if that's what you want to do. The only thing I don't get, is parents who spend a fortune and hold a massive event for their child's birthday before they are even old enough to know it's their birthday First birthday we did a bbq in a park with room for all the cousins and other kids to play, and invited extended family. I thought that was a decent size celebration for a kit that wouldn't even remember it, but then we had people asking why we didn't even give our poor child the opportunity to do a 'cake smash' lol, I didn't even know that was a thing at the time :P

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hey not saying it's the same with your family just wanted to note that I only had two birthday parties growing up - one when I was about 8 (my parents invited all their friends kids) and one when I was 13 (which was a great party). I was jelous of my friends whose parents would plan awesome parties for them. And ****ed at my parents. I never told them though so they would probably be unaware that I hold a grudge. However in my case it was a sign of bigger issues at play - I'm sure it's not the same in your case hence your kids probably feel different.
    I had one or two parties in my childhood. I want to raise my girls to appreciate and not expect.

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  5. #64
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    Default Birthday parties for children ...... every year!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marchbundle View Post
    I had one or two parties in my childhood. I want to raise my girls to appreciate and not expect.
    True - good point about kids not expecting something. I think kids can still be appreciative though with more than 2 x birthdays in their childhood . I get your point however due to my own experiences my focus is on raising my boys to enjoy life and not resent their parents. I am not sure what the magical number is for me to reach the perfect balance between expectation/appreciation and enjoyment/not resentment. I am guessing somewhere around the 5 or more mark. Definitely more than 2 - for my family and I.
    Last edited by VicPark; 16-02-2016 at 18:09.

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  7. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    True - good point about kids not expecting something. I think kids can still be appreciative though with more than 2 x birthdays in their childhood . I get your point however due to my own experiences my focus is on raising my boys to enjoy life and not resent their parents. I am not sure what the magical number is for me to reach the perfect balance between expectation/appreciation and enjoyment/not resentment. I am guessing somewhere around the 5 or more mark. Definitely more than 2 - for my family and I.

    Like you, I do resent my parents for things, but I was thinking about things today, and even though we didn't have a lot of birthday parties, our birthdays were always special as kids. I don't have a good relationship with my mum, we just don't get along and aren't speaking at the moment, and I haven't spoken to my father for ten years. I resent them more so for not really thinking about us as kids by ripping us out of school, time out of time, think I went to like 12 schools, and we were stuck in the middle of a terrible divorce. In a way they taught me how not to raise my kids. I would love to spoil my kids and spend heaps on them every birthday, but it's important to me that they appreciate what they do get and carry that into adulthood. I don't want to raise children who think they are entitled to stuff. That's just me.

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  9. #66
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    I'll just add you all have better memories than me. I have no idea how many parties I had as a kid. I just organise them because I actually enjoy them!

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  11. #67
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    I think it's the overall childhood that counts. I didn't have any birthday parties as a kid. My first party was when I was 21 and worked so paid for it myself.
    I have no resentment towards my parents at all. Growing up we didn't have money and I am from a big family. When it was our birthday we got some extra pocket money and were happy with that.


 

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