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  1. #11
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    OP it seems really weird to me that a couple with kids would have separate finances and contributions to bills. To me that could be a sign that either one or both partners are young and/or not really committed to each other.

    The fact that your partner is forcing you to dip into savings to pay the rent... Unless he is really broke and your rent is heaps more than what can be afforded on his income (in which case you should contribute from savings) then your partners is sounding a bit like an ******** - keep an eye on that.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycake View Post
    I rarely post these days but reading your post made me so mad. You are the mother of his beautiful child. You are not a lodger. How dare he ask you to pay rent while you are off work looking after his child!!!!Ifi I were you I would do up an invoice for half the child care,that you provide for your child and hand it to him. A bit cheeky I know,but perhaps it may get the point across that you have given up work to stay home and look after and love your child.
    a good idea!

    don't forget to include housekeeper expenses too, your time spent cooking, cleaning as well as the childcare component.

    I think he will soon see the extra rent he "has to cover" is tiny in comparison to what you're contributing!!

  4. #13
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    I know different things work for different couples but for us, me working or not makes no difference. Everything is joint, nothing split.

    You are "working" you're looking after the child you have together. If you were at work, you'd be paying for daycare or a nanny to take care of your child, even if you were bringing in some income.

    I don't think it's fair you have to contribute if you've both agreed that you'll be staying home to be a mum. it doesn't seem feasible.

  5. #14
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    We combined our income and finances years ago. So whilst it's him technically paying for everything while I am on mat leave, we see it as 'our' money. And when there is less of it, luxuries are the first to go.

    I'm only starting mat leave now so will be interesting to see how we are in 12 months. Things will be tight and I don't think I will have spare cash for clothes or pedicures...

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    All money is our money. We are partnership. We are family there is no this is mine that is yours.

    I don't understand this Idea that it is a condition of you staying home that you do unpaid work for his business. Than except you to pay rent. It doesn't make sense. He is wanting his cake and to eat as well as a large scoop of ice cream on top.

    I would be sending him a bill for the unpaid work plus adding the childcare (look up the local centre as to their day rates) and any other work you do...

    If he wants you to pay rent than he better starting paying for the work you are doing.

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  8. #16
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    Look into what it costs for a full time nanny / housekeeper.

    Then compare to the income you'd earn if you were working full time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulK View Post
    Look into what it costs for a full time nanny / housekeeper.

    Then compare to the income you'd earn if you were working full time.
    I'm currently working as a full time nanny and I'm making very close to 6 figures.

    As for putting in rent, I think that's ridiculous. Wonder if he would think its okay for him to have to put in for rent, if you decided to go back to work and he could be a stay at home dad.

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  11. #18
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    Can I ask a question here... Shouldn't her savings be there savings if your all saying everything is joined once kids come along... i agree that a women or even a man staying at home job is priceless and I take my hat off to you all who do it... I know I have one due in 4 and half months and I can't imagine relying on someone else for cash and obviously I am not there yet... But I think the OP was asking what you all do and you all have showed you have a very healthy attitude to money and sharing the responsibilities of raising children but I also feel some of your comments are quite harsh... Didn't you all have a discussion about cash so you knew where you stood before kids came along? Obviously the OP hasn't had this... I really hope she sorts it out and can still have her luxuries to pamper herself because I am sure she needs it as being a full time Mum is one of the hardest jobs going

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  13. #19
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    I'm in a similar situation to you in that I'm on unpaid mat leave and have a bit of savings. DF pays the rent and some bills, I also pay some bills - it's just whatever mail we open we pay with our own credit cards. Whenever I go shopping or get my hair done or whatever I pay for it with my cc, he does the same. I pay my credit card bill out of my savings account but I consider the money in my savings account to belong to the both of us. It was savings from before we got together but we are at the stage where we consider all of our stuff to be joint. We have just brought a house together so are now in the process of setting up a joint bank account so things will change in the next month or so.

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ttc1981 View Post
    Can I ask a question here... Shouldn't her savings be there savings if your all saying everything is joined once kids come along... i agree that a women or even a man staying at home job is priceless and I take my hat off to you all who do it... I know I have one due in 4 and half months and I can't imagine relying on someone else for cash and obviously I am not there yet... But I think the OP was asking what you all do and you all have showed you have a very healthy attitude to money and sharing the responsibilities of raising children but I also feel some of your comments are quite harsh... Didn't you all have a discussion about cash so you knew where you stood before kids came along? Obviously the OP hasn't had this... I really hope she sorts it out and can still have her luxuries to pamper herself because I am sure she needs it as being a full time Mum is one of the hardest jobs going
    I agree completely!! Have any of the other PPs considered that maybe her partner doesn't earn enough money to pay the rent etc? Yes he should be contributing as much as he can but his salary isn't going to magically increase because he now has a baby.


 

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