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  1. #1
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    Default Am I being overly sensitive??

    ( This is kind of long) So my kids changed school this year and this hardest thing was leaving her BFF and that was the one thing that stopped me changing them sooner. She has lots of friends but this was her very best friend. Her friends family and ours have never been extra close but the girls have play dates occasionally and any we would call or text as needed with school or whatever and have great chats when we had the time. It has never crossed to dinners or anything yet- we did go there for a BBQ once but due to reno's ( that have taken forever) I have yet to return the favour but they are very chilled out and would not take offense I'm sure ( and I plan on asking them soon). Anyway - when I told this Mum we were leaving she didn't seem to think anything of the fact the girls would be separated and made a comment of them being BFF forever regardless of schools. Since school started I have tried to arrange a play date ( they had one each in the holidays) and said DD is really missing her but she said they were busy until the end of the month with some events they are involved in. I have no doubt this is true, and both her and her hubby work full-time and are very busy however I kind of feel sad for DD that her BFF mum is not really making any effort to maintain the girls friendship? She has made no acknowledgement of the fact the girls no longer see each other , but have been BFF since they were 3y old ( now 8 and almost 8). Anyway - I am known to be overly sensitive and I am not sure if I am in this case or not. I was so heartbroken about splitting them up and really want the friendship to continue but I am not sure if I am overthinking it. I just feel so sad for DD who really wants to see her best friend.

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    Default Am I being overly sensitive??

    I don't think you are being over sensitive. It isn't easy. I know working full time I really only have weekends to do housework, food shop etc and I really struggle if people want play dates I just don't have the time. It's not my dd's fault and I try but things always seem to come up. I bet slot of my dd's friends parents think I don't care.. I do but I can never get it to work! I try to get weekend things done during the week but once I have dd's homework dinner bath story kitchen lunch for the next day - it's 9pm and I am falling asleep. I wish I could have better time management!

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    Default Am I being overly sensitive??

    I think you have to let it evolve. DD1 moved schools when she was 9 and left some very close friends. She's now lucky to see them once during term. It's just too busy for everyone.

    But it doesn't mean the girls don't still share a special bond.

    With one girl in particular I plan it well in advance and the girls always have a ball together. But it's always harder for the kids that move as they have to make new friends while still missing the old.

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    Don't blame the other mum. I work full time and the thought of doing all the required household stuff and fitting in all required social commitments gives me the heebie jeebies.

    The other mum is no more to blame than you are for changing your DD's school. It's just life.

    Why did your dd change schools? Does your dd enjoy her new school now? Can you change her back?

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    Hi there, it can be tough in this situation, but think you need to chill out a bit and not put too much pressure on the situation, or the other mum. My children changed schools this year and i am focusing on fostering new friendships at the new wchool and am going to arrange a play date soon. I would try to focus positive energies into the new school. Maybe the other mum is doing the same for her DD now that your DD has left. All the best.

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    Agree with littleriv.
    It's a shame the kids can't be at the same school but they are still young and will make new friends, it just takes time.

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    It's a fine line between trying to nurture that friendship and push the situation. I thinks it's great you're being thoughtful and trying to help your DD keep a friendship that is important to her, it might just be that the other mum is too preoccupied with her busy day to day to think of it in the long term. Just keep trying, maybe even suggest to pencil in a play date months in advance that way the other family has plenty of notice. Maybe you could suggest picking up the girl and taking them for the play date that might take away the issue of finding time for the other family. You're doing a lovely thing, don't get discouraged

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    It's hard as my DS is only 5 but went to pre school for 2 years with his little best friend but this boy goes to a different school and does not live near us and yes he's a lovely boy but DS is making lots of new friends at big school so I've been concentrating on organising play dates with the new boys and getting to know their parents and have unfortunately said no to a few play date requests from his old friend - not because we don't want too and if DS wants to catch up in the holidays we definitely will but yes it's hard trying to fit everyone in !

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    I am in a similar boat because we moved interstate and ds is missing his best mate badly - to the point he isn't bothering to make new friends at his new school.

    I don't think you're overly sensitive. It's lovely to see your kids make wonderful friends - it gives us as parents a sense of fulfilment I think. And I think if the other set of parents don't bother to respond in the same way, we feel rejection for our kids. I totally understand that.

    Could your DD send her friend a letter or email, telling her all about her new school and also how much she misses playing with her? Maybe then it would trigger something in the other mum to keep the friendship going??

    Fwiw our interstate friend facetime'd us and we send pictures via SMS to them, but now that school's back its kinda hard to keep it going because the other little boy is moving on a bit.
    It sux, I feel a bit like we 'broke up' .

    Hugs to u guys, OP.

  12. #10
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    Thanks all. I'll keep trying and I'm sure it'll happen eventually but it just seems this mum doesn't seem to think the fact they have been friends for 5 years and only live 15 mins away,,then it's worth holding onto. On the plus side she is making friends at the new school.


 

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