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  1. #1
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    Default Ds upset going to new school

    Looking for tips & advice. Long post. Sorry.

    History...
    2 yrs ago we moved to a diff state. Ds1 was 4 and started kindy/preschool. Did not cry not once. Last year he was in pre primary at the same school and he loved it. Admittedly pre primary was a lot like an extension of kindy so he loved it. They learnt about 50-60 sight words and he knew 99% of them. He was about average at school.

    This year I & the kids have moved back to our old home. So ds1 is now 6, new state, new school, DH is still interstate, I have gone back to Full time work. We live with my mum and she looks after the kids - which all the kids love (part of the reason we moved back was because all the kids missed nanna).

    So, new school in year 1. Larger school. Different morning routine at school compared to last year.

    Ds is happy when we drive to school, ok in the playground b4 the bell rings, but as soon as the bell sounds, he starts to cry and doesn't want to line up for class.

    The teacher usually helps him, gives him a cuddle, holds his hand and leads him to class. She says he settles down soon after.

    He is always happy at pick up after school.

    I don't know what to do.


    I know it's a big change for him, I know he misses his kiddy mates, and probably this big schools is overwhelming and mum and dad aren't around. But none of that helps me know what to do to help him.

    When I ask him if all is ok, he says he likes it and that he's playing with some boys. I also know that he's probably behind in his knowledge because the new school did approx 160 sight words last year and he only did 60. But he's not a d0pey kid so I know with help he'll be able to catch up.

    What do I do?

    I have written to the teacher but as yet haven't got a response.

  2. #2
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    Bump

  3. #3
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    Maybe try to organise some play dates with some kids in his class, and their parents, might help?

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    misho  (09-02-2016)

  5. #4
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    I'd recommend play dates with the boys he enjoys playing with. Possibly a small item of comfort that can stay in his pocket eg a photo of the family. If he has a larger comfort item it could stay in his bag and he can visit it during the day if needed. You could take a few photos of him having a fun time playing in the school playground before/after school and put them up for him to look at in his bedroom or fridge.
    I'd chat to him about the routine of the morning drop off and try to stay upbeat when he is getting upset and make your goodbyes quick. Sometimes when parents hang around to help settle their child, the child can become more worked up about the separation.
    As he becomes more confident with his new school environment, teacher and friends he should improve.
    Good luck, it must be heart renching to watch x

  6. #5
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    No advice but wanted to say I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It's tough. My DS just started prep and ran out of the classroom after me in tears screaming this morning went to kindy without any issues, was sooooo excited for 'big school' and now even at bed time saying he doesn't want to go

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarahd80 View Post
    I'd recommend play dates with the boys he enjoys playing with. Possibly a small item of comfort that can stay in his pocket eg a photo of the family. If he has a larger comfort item it could stay in his bag and he can visit it during the day if needed. You could take a few photos of him having a fun time playing in the school playground before/after school and put them up for him to look at in his bedroom or fridge.
    I'd chat to him about the routine of the morning drop off and try to stay upbeat when he is getting upset and make your goodbyes quick. Sometimes when parents hang around to help settle their child, the child can become more worked up about the separation.
    As he becomes more confident with his new school environment, teacher and friends he should improve.
    Good luck, it must be heart renching to watch x
    Thanks.

    My mum takes him to school so I don't get to see him cry, not sure if that's a bad or good thing!

    I did the first few days but it wasn't easy to meet the parents, they were scattered all over the place. So I actually have no clue who his friend's parents are even to be able to invite friends over. The ruddy 'parent teacher' info nite is not till week 5 (😯) so I'll hopefully be able to introduce myself then.

    It is so hard. I miss our old school and friends too. We had such a great community in pre primary and thus far I've seen nothing of the sort at this new school. I went to the P & F morning tea and I don't think more than 20 people turned up in a school of 400 kids.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJbaby View Post
    No advice but wanted to say I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It's tough. My DS just started prep and ran out of the classroom after me in tears screaming this morning went to kindy without any issues, was sooooo excited for 'big school' and now even at bed time saying he doesn't want to go
    I wonder why???!!!
    My mum says its coz my ds doesn't like the stricter routine of year 1 but I don't believe that's it.. He had no issue last year with the academic side.

    I hope your ds settles quickly too 😘

  9. #8
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    DD started school in WA and we moved to Vic at easter of year 1. There are so many differences that to us seem tiny but to them are huge. I grew up in Vic so was familiar with a lot of the differences (because I'd noticed them when I started teaching in WA). Things like in WA the 'bell' is a siren, some schools have 3 minutes of 'get to class' music on the PA before class, factions are called houses or teams, loads of different teaching terms (these vary class to class and school to school as well), lunch orders might be done differently, subjects called different names, just really little things. DD also changed schools between Kindy and PrePrimary, and has just started at a different Vic school but the interstate school change was the b iggest adjustment for her.

    I'd have a chat about what they do each day and anything that he's negative about it being different, either reassure that he'll think it's normal in a few weeks or find a positive in the difference.

    One other thing, my kids tend to know how to wrap the grandparents around their little finger. If she's giving him loads of attention for getting upset, he might be playing on it a bit. I mean, who doesn't want an extra cuddle from nan?

  10. #9
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    Thanks Misho I hope so too!

    I've been told by his teacher (who is lovely and more than happy to cuddle him for the 5 mins it takes him to calm down) routine is important, quick good byes...sometimes a reward chart can work.

    Fingers crossed they settle in the next few weeks xx

  11. #10
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    My DS1 found the transition from the "play - based " Pre - Primary setting to Y1 difficult. He hated it!! He's a true boys boy and the "sitting down learning all day" was hard for him. He got used to it of course but it did take a full term! He still dislikes school...


 

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