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  1. #11
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    Im the same Harvs,
    I dont care, I would care if something happened to him for my childrens sake but I have no anger or sadness or hurt or love,

    its like he's a stranger that happens to share partial parenting duties with myself,
    It makes it easier once the emotions are gone

  2. #12
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    I can't wait for this nemmi and harvs! I know the day will come and it can't come soon enough. This first bit is blaaaahhhh!

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    Nemmi1987  (08-02-2016)

  4. #13
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    I agree with the pp about feeling nothing. I, too, feel nothing for him now. I was so angry for the first year or so, we also lived in a weird limbo where he came back and lived under our roof for a while, it sucked. Once he was gone for good, I was able to move forward. Now I feel nothing. We've seen him once in the last 10 months. 3 times in the last 13 months. It makes it so much easier to move forward when your ex no longer factors into your every day lives. Trust me.

    Move house. Ime, move somewhere smaller and cheaper, rent will be your most significant expense, keep it as low as possible at first, as you will face a learning curve living on one income.

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    harvs  (08-02-2016)

  6. #14
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAT2561 View Post
    I can't wait for this nemmi and harvs! I know the day will come and it can't come soon enough. This first bit is blaaaahhhh!
    Yeah, you know people told me it would happen and I never believed it because of the circumstances we split under, still loving each other deeply etc etc.

    The worst thing is it makes all the painful part seem like such a pointless waste when you just suddenly no longer care. It's like 'wtf was I so upset about?!' But you have to swim through that tide of pain to get there. It took me longer than it should've, I think, but we all get there in the end x

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    NAT2561  (09-02-2016),Nemmi1987  (08-02-2016)

  8. #15
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    Sorry it took me so long to respond. I have had to figure out my uni timetable but thankfully have been able to cram all my classes into two days one less thing for me to worry about!

    MarchBundle congrats on expecting your third! I hope that someday I will be able to find an amazing loving relationship again. Obviously I have alot of healing to do and can't see myself having enough time for dating for a long while but the thought of it is exciting! I am lucky that I do have a great rental history however I am stiiiill waiting on my single parenting payment after 3 weeks to show the agents a consistent income. I am greatfull in that mum has also offered to help getting a bond and first months rent. Its going to help alot.

    Preggasaurus thank you thank you thank you! I would definitely love the practical and financial advice! I was also thinking about when my payments come through contacting one of the financial advisors through centrelink just to really have a strict budget. I have applied for properties that are $300 and below.. you cant get much under that without moving in next to a drug dealer at the moment in Melbourne. I don't think I'm being unreasonable with that limit, with my car payment, petrol and a $100 on an aldi shop pw...I should have about $200 left over for all other things/bills pw. I'm not holding my breath for much in the way of child support ontop of that as X is a subcontractor and has alot of tax deductions leaving not alot of a taxable income.
    3Rreg I'm glad to hear you are doing well! Thanks for your words I am also seeing my MCHN this week about everything for a chat and she said she is going to make sure I get all the support I can get
    Amycus thank you so much for your words we sound very similar and it's nice to be reassured that I will get through this.
    Nemmi1987 dragging the kids to the shops does suck! But I have never had to do it with public transport so I can't complain! I think I just struggle dividing my time between the two particularly as my 7m old is still Breastfeeding. You are right about his opinions not mattering, thank you! its hard to get out of that mind frame being stuck in it for so long!
    Waggers70 it's nice to know I'm not going through it alone! Emotional abuse is brutal I question every decision I make, my confidence is just so shot. I can't wait to get back to normal and I hope you make sure you take care of yourself too! I'm here as well if you ever want to vent about things!
    NAT2561 I'm so happy to hear that you are doing fine with the centrelink support. God I just want mine to hurry up and come through, life will be so much easier/clearer but truly reading what you have said has really put my mind at ease and that regardless of the amount of child support, I will still be able to survive
    Harvs thanks for your words. I know I definitely haven't had time to grieve the relationship yet..maybe when I get chance to be away from him haha. Still a long road ahead. I have had a real estate agent emailing me today wanting to put me forward for a property I applied for but I'm still waiting on the Statement of income to show the single parenting payment so I have proof of income. It was meant to process today (I have been calling centrelink asking about it) but nothing yet...so frustrating! Keep your fingers crossed for me so I can get the ef outta here!!!

  9. #16
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    Great to hear from you @flowerchild. Just to let you know. ..i am on full payments and family tax benefit and have $350 week rent (i get some rent assistance). I use $250 fortnight on bills and have two toddlers. We are doing pretty well but i save by using fresh seasonal produce from farmers market. That's been my key to keeping groceries cheap! The kids can eat lots of fruit cheap. If i can help with any more info please pm me. I know it was all up in the air and hard to know how i'd go at first so I'm happy to help.

  10. #17
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    Oh thats so reassuring @NAT2561 and I will definitely look into the local farmers markets...one benefit of being down at the beach is I'm not short of markets

  11. #18
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    I got it!!! I was approved for a house!!! Moving in this weekend. I still haven't received my up to date statement from centrelink but this landlord really liked my application and gave me a chance. I'm so happy!


 

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