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  1. #21
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    It's ds's second week of cubs and I did ask him what he wanted to do, he said he wants to go to cubs. The mum put a post on facebook in reference to the friends her ds thought were his friends don't seem to be so not sure if something else has gone on with others.

    I think that the boys go to school together, they get along and play at school and that's enough. If they don't see each other out of school doesn't mean they aren't friends. I have many friends at work but I don't see them out of work, they are still friends. I've let the playdates go on too long I guess. I'm not real big on the whole playdate thing in general. When we get home from work that's our family time, more often than not we chill and the last thing we want is peoples children over.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 07-02-2016 at 10:20.

  2. #22
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    To be honest if I was inviting someone over to my house and they didn't really want to come/ thought my house smelled and the child didn't really want to come I probably would have preferred that had just said no. You have tried to be nice and do the right thing and now I feel like your reluctance to go over anymore has just hurt the women. I'd just hide her on fb and move on. Hopefully they will find some friends that are interested in being that. Good luck.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    To be honest if I was inviting someone over to my house and they didn't really want to come/ thought my house smelled and the child didn't really want to come I probably would have preferred that had just said no. You have tried to be nice and do the right thing and now I feel like your reluctance to go over anymore has just hurt the women. I'd just hide her on fb and move on. Hopefully they will find some friends that are interested in being that. Good luck.
    Ds has been there once only. Playdates were then always at our place. I had to drop something off once so I know what ds meant about the smell, blowflies were buzzing around the front door, the house is filthy not simply untidy, they also smoke inside and the kids are always grotty even when arriving at school. Obviously it's just the way they live. I've been much friendlier than most other mums have toward her over the past 2 years. She has annoyed many with her constant playdate requests but I've hung in there. I've just had it now particularly re her manner when I declined recently and for the first time ever. I will say a hello at school as I always have but won't be having further playdates.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 07-02-2016 at 12:23.

  4. #24
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    You know what, at the end of the day, regardless of whether her kids have special needs or whatever, if you don't want to socialise with her or have her kids over because your little fellow isn't interested in playing with her kids, don't socialise with her out of guilt. There is nothing wrong with just being polite and saying hi there, every now and then. Just let her know that you aren't really interested in taking it further, and just delete her on facebook. I have just over 90 friends on facebook and they are mostly either family or girlfriends or DP's family.

    I wouldn't want someone to be a friend of mine because they pity myself or my family. That's not true friendship.

  5. #25
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    Do your children have other play dates? Or are you anti play date in general as it impedes on your family time?

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Do your children have other play dates? Or are you anti play date in general as it impedes on your family time?
    Few playdates with their closest friends, ds1 has 2 real close friends and ds2 has 1 close friend. Don't do playdates on the weekends. We have 2 couples who are our good friends so see socially and our kids play with theirs, 1 of which is one of ds1's good friends. So while we do some playdates we value family time.

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    I get the OP. I feel sorry for the mother and her child - and I agree she's probably pushing because her child isn't quite up to making friends just yet - but I get the OP.

    It's hard having made an effort, convincing your child to play with someone they don't necessarily want to play with and then be passively aggressively targeted because you can't one day.

    Yes, KG could force her child to miss Cubs for the party - it might be nice for the little boy but by the same token, would her son be a really great guest given he actually wants to be somewhere else?

    I love what VP said earlier re her approach to kids and friendship and I try to do the same. But I do get where KG is coming from.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    It's ds's second week of cubs and I did ask him what he wanted to do, he said he wants to go to cubs. The mum put a post on facebook in reference to the friends her ds thought were his friends don't seem to be so not sure if something else has gone on with others.
    I don't see that as a nasty facebook dig. Its sounds like she's hurt. And she's pretty spot on the money - she/her DS thought your son was a friend, but you don't see it that way. So she's hurt. I wouldn't go publicising it on facebook, but I don't think its nasty of her to post it and I'd say since its 'friends' that its more than just your family that's backed away a bit.

    That said, if you've had several playdates and given a friendship a shot and are at the point where you don't think its going to work then its okay to step away. But its also okay for her to be sad and disappointed about that.
    Last edited by MissMuppet; 07-02-2016 at 17:40.


 

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