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  1. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreyDove View Post
    @Green lady ... I'm not entirely too good at looking forward myself ... but I am working really hard on being more present and not thinking and dwelling.
    @GreyDove - I know I ruminate about things and post analyse to death - all usually to no benefit. DH says if you practice at not thinking and dwelling eventually it will come naturally. He's possibly right. Good luck with forming the game plan for the next cycle.

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  3. #342
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    It was really hard to tell how it went today, she spent WAY more time in with the report writer than my DH and I think DH got thrown some curve balls he wasn't ready for so his answers might not have been that great. I hope he got his point across though because there's no doubt DSS was coached to the MAX about what to say in there :-( Anyway, hopefully the judge will sort through the truth to find out what is in DSSs best interests.

    The report writer only talked to me for five minutes and wanted to know if I had any experience with children (that is the ex saying that I can't be a good step-mother because I don't have children myself) and although he said up-front that it doesn't carry any weight with him whatsoever, he said he had to ask about my health and miscarriages because it was in the affidavit. But honestly it was five minutes if that and felt very superficial.


    I wouldn't worry too much about the family report love. We had one done too, and it didn't amount to much in the end. The report basically said that my husband and I presented as well-rounded people, that his ex was still visibly upset and un-accepting of our relationship, that she didn't want her child being around me and that her child didn't want to see me either.

    The consultant also picked up on the fact that the child had obviously been coached by her Mother to say certain things and that the Mother had expressed a lot of her anger about my DH and I in front of the child which therefore impacted on the child's opinion of me.

    The recommendation of the family report was to allow the child only small periodic visits with DH on the condition that I was not present, which DH refused to agree to in his interview. The judge on the day said (and I quote) "I don't give a damn what that reports says!" The judges have been there and seen it all before love, and they can read a lot more into those reports than what is actually written on the paper. That includes when the consultants have empathy for the bitter ex's and are compelled to err on the side of caution in their recommendations.

    I am positive that all will be well on the day. There is so little tolerance within the court system for this sort of BS and at the actual proceeding it is unlikely any of the things in the report will even be mentioned. Usually the judges just read over them prior to the case starting, and if there are no significant issues (violence, drugs, alcohol etc) they simply proceed to standard age-appropriate agreements with little conversation about the case at all. I do know how stressful it is, but my gut (and experience) tells me it will all be just fine
    Last edited by Blossom74; 09-02-2016 at 19:52.

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  5. #343
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    So sorry about your cycle @GreyDove that is so unfair. The wine and hello kitty Pez sounds exactly the right formula for dealing with it, fruck the mindfulness!! Sometimes just going for the naughty stuff is the only answer. I hope this never happens again and they can work out why it's happening. have a drink or 3 for me!

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  7. #344
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDa View Post
    Supposed to help give you the coping mechanisms to deal with life's disappointments, don't know if it is as therapeutic as wine or mint slices but we'll see������

    I'm dubious about that! Mint slices are pretty powerful therapy!

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  9. #345
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxcat View Post
    So sorry about your cycle @GreyDove that is so unfair. The wine and hello kitty Pez sounds exactly the right formula for dealing with it, fruck the mindfulness!! Sometimes just going for the naughty stuff is the only answer. I hope this never happens again and they can work out why it's happening. have a drink or 3 for me!
    Im sideways on the lounge with a champagne ginger cat and white wine

    <3

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  11. #346
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    @Precious40, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hugs hon

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  13. #347
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lolly99 View Post
    @Windsor congratulations!!! Brilliant news so happy for you!!
    Omg @Precious40 you poor thing having surgery tomorrow you've had a rough few weeks now. Hope it goes smoothly. Is it day surgery? Look after yourself.
    @Bongley will keep you posted on the family situation. Am going to role play/go over different responses I may hear from them with counselor tomorrow. Will give you some tips!!
    @Summer good you didn't have to see the skinny jealous cow and good you escaped with only 5 minutes questions!!
    Thank you xxxx
    Yes day surgery. So I'll be out for it.... Only way to be I think

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  15. #348
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    @winsor I've just managed to get on bh after a manic day. Congratulations!!!!
    @Precious40 it's good to hear something is happening now. I wish you well for tomorrow and hope you have a safe surgery.
    @Summer still fuming over that biatch but you are so calm and collected. Have you being practising mindfulness the last few days???
    @Charlie74 what did you decide with the clexane? Scan tomorrow right? Let us know about your lining results. I'll be stalking for an update.

    Thanks everyone for offering some calming advice and thoughts on my lack of symptoms. I know it's too early and that I've probably thrown the towel in too soon but it's all got too much. I am going to have to pull out of the house sale as I don't want to have to choose financially between a home and ivf and I've just had a dinner with another pregnancy announcement. So that's the third in 2 weeks around me. I keep telling myself that stress is not good but I can't seem to escape it. I'm dreading that poas in the morning but want to be prepared for the worst. I also emailed my clinic to ask if I needed a progesterone check. They said to go have one in the morning now. Is it weird they didn't suggest it? I am worries about that too. I'm a bundle of nerves, anger and frustration atm. #twtorture

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  17. #349
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    thanks @Caesardust. I hope tomorrow is less stressful. sorry to hear you had to cancel the house sale, it sounds like the timing wasn't right. I have my for you tomorrow (& the following days) to start seeing your line get darker. c'mon embie!

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  19. #350
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    @winsor congrats, that's fab news!
    @Precious40 I'm so sorry sweetie, I hope tmw goes as well as can be

    I can't remember who was talking about lining, @Charlie74 was that you? My acupuncturist said to put a hot water btl on tummy from cd1 till epu for 30mins to increase blood flow to uterus. I also started clexane early, about 2 weeks or so before transfer.

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