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  1. #141
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    @Summer, as someone who was dragged through the courts for over a year with DH's child matters with his ex wife, I honestly don't believe that any judge is going to consider your previous miscarriages and subsequent counselling sessions in making a decision regarding access with your DH.

    If anything, I suspect it will reflect badly on her. The judge in our case (and we went right up through to the Family Law Court) was adamant that my DH should have access to his daughter even though his ex said she didn't want her to be socialising with me.

    In the end, after numerous affadavits denegrating me, the judge stood her up in court and asked one question: "Has Mrs Blossom ever done anything to harm or upset your child?" At that point, his ex was forced to tell the truth - "No" - and all her affadavits were not considered thereafter. The courts now-a-days have little tolerance for spiteful ex's and their attempts to stop visitation.

    I reckon if you both keep your cool she will be her own undoing in the end

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  3. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    @Summer My comments are coming from a good place. A place of wanting to protect you. Have you had DH's solicitor confirm the above? I'm not wanting to worry you. Big hugs.
    Thank you, I know you are totally supportive

    We haven't discussed it with the solicitor yet as the documents only came through today, but DH had a quick talk with them and they weren't worried about anything in her affidavit. So it didn't immediately ring alarm bells, so that's a good thing, but it is something I will bring up with them before we go to court. I would hate my health issues to be used as a tool against my DH, especially because most of them were to do with the IVF meds and now I'm in really good health again. And counseling I see as a positive in learning skills to manage emotions healthfully, but others might not see it that way.

    Just recently my (estranged) cousin went through this with his son, and even though the parents are both drug addicts and had police records and all sorts of abuse and drama was bought up in court, the judge basically ignored the lot of it and awarded 50/50. So hopefully these issues won't be pressed too hard, especially with me being the step-mother. But I will ask as I would be horrified if my counseling case notes were bought into this.

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  5. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    @Summer, as someone who was dragged through the courts for over a year with DH's child matters with his ex wife, I honestly don't believe that any judge is going to consider your previous miscarriages and subsequent counselling sessions in making a decision regarding access with your DH.

    If anything, I suspect it will reflect badly on her. The judge in our case (and we went right up through to the Family Law Court) was adamant that my DH should have access to his daughter even though his ex said she didn't want her to be socialising with me.

    In the end, after numerous affadavits denegrating me, the judge stood her up in court and asked one question: "Has Mrs Blossom ever done anything to harm or upset your child?" At that point, his ex was forced to tell the truth - "No" - and all her affadavits were not considered thereafter. The courts now-a-days have little tolerance for spiteful ex's and their attempts to stop visitation.

    I reckon if you both keep your cool she will be her own undoing in the end
    Thank you for sharing that @Blossom74! That gives me some peace of mind to hear your story and what happened in court. We know that we've done nothing wrong in parenting and it should be a very straightforward case. DSS is really happy when he's with us, and we don't have a fair arrangement now, so it will have to change. In her affidavit she is campaigning for LESS time which is ridiculous and hopefully the judge will see through her spite and nastiness.

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  7. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thank you for sharing that @Blossom74! That gives me some peace of mind to hear your story and what happened in court. We know that we've done nothing wrong in parenting and it should be a very straightforward case. DSS is really happy when he's with us, and we don't have a fair arrangement now, so it will have to change. In her affidavit she is campaigning for LESS time which is ridiculous and hopefully the judge will see through her spite and nastiness.

    I'd bet my bottom dollar they will love. As I said, there has been a big shift in the courts in the last few years, moving from sporadic visitation for fathers towards a more equal 50/50 arrangement. The one thing that was hammered home to us again and again was it didn't matter how my DH and his ex felt towards each other, it was all about the child's right to have an equal relationship with both parents.

    I have also witnessed custody hearings of other couples in court, and even in cases where there were serious issues such as alcohol and drugs involved, steps were put in place to address those and full visitation granted once the matters were sorted out. I will be very surprised if your DH's ex's rants will have any traction at all when push comes to shove.

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  9. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thanks, in my blog I don't get too personal, but I did move away from my business a lot and people were wondering what was happening, so I shared some stuff, but it was spun positively, as this is what's happened, and now I'm moving forward - so it wasn't even a negative blog post. So yep, I think it's pretty low of her to bring that up in court documents.
    I have a feeling she and her solicitor will go as 'low' as they feel is necessary to achieve their aim. And that may well include dissecting your counseling notes/marriage to evaluate if DS's emotional needs are being met and he's not going into an emotionally hostile environment. It may not sway a judge to increase/decrease contact hours but could be very challenging to have your personal lives dissected and to have to defend decision/situations. And to be doing this during IVF. Not fun.
    Summer, you come across as a gorgeous woman with a huge heart. I just worry for you. I have a feeling she's only just starting to show the lengths she's prepared to go to.
    Do you have other social media accounts? Any joint friends?

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  11. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    I have a feeling she and her solicitor will go as 'low' as they feel is necessary to achieve their aim. And that may well include dissecting your counseling notes/marriage to evaluate if DS's emotional needs are being met and he's not going into an emotionally hostile environment. It may not sway a judge to increase/decrease contact hours but could be very challenging to have your personal lives dissected and to have to defend decision/situations. And to be doing this during IVF. Not fun.
    Summer, you come across as a gorgeous woman with a huge heart. I just worry for you. I have a feeling she's only just starting to show the lengths she's prepared to go to.
    Do you have other social media accounts? Any joint friends?
    Thank you She is quite unstable herself, so if it came down to playing dirty, we'd subpeona her whole family who all think she's crazy and are on DH's side with this. She's also had counseling so we could play the same game and put her records out on the table too. Not that we'd want to as that is awful and not in DSS's best interests, but if we were forced there, we could.

    I'm not too worried at all about our marriage sessions as we've only had three and the counselor thinks we do great as we take away some skills and work on them and don't need him again, so even if that came out it's all positive.

    For me, I've been with my counselor for years and she's very protective of me, so she would be in my corner and do everything possible to avoid having me hurt in this situation. Hopefully it won't come to that as @Blossom74 said the courts are very clued up to the tactics of spiteful exes.

    I am very present online with a big FB following etc but I don't talk about my family much at all, and have rarely posted a photo or anything of DSS, so I don't think I have anything to worry about there. I do talk about myself as that is part of what I do, but not in a negative way, so I think she'd be hard pressed to find anything else to use against me other than that one post where I shared about my miscarriages and health issues. And the only place I've ever vented is here, which is anonymous and I've had any threads regarding DSS taken down as of a few weeks ago. So I don't think she'd find much ammunition online, and I'm happy to do any psych or medical assessment to prove I'm all OK.

    DH and I are sorting things out really well, so that's all positive and we're re-engaging nicely and he's putting in a lot of effort, so I feel like we're in a much better place than we were a few weeks ago. We just have to be strong together through this and hope that she doesn't take this line of thought further.

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  13. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie74 View Post
    At the moment I'm trying to hold off on thinking about it too much until I hear what LB has to say about it (which is hard for me!!)... At least since it's a HRT FET they are controlling what happens so we have some extra time up our sleeve. If I can get it to 7 I'd be happy I think. Dr M said 7-8 should really be the minimum, and I value his opinion. Like u said, we could do this month after month and never get it any better.

    And yes I do have the hamburger so that's something at least I guess.

    I'm definitely gonna ask about using the progynova PV now. Clearly taking them orally is not working for me.

    I'm guessing she'll keep me going a bit longer, then rescan. But I'll also be having a scan the day before transfer too to make sure it doesn't shrink like before.
    How frucking annoying for you Luv!!

    As you say, you've got some time up your sleeve to get it a bit thicker before transfer. I was going to suggest increasing your Progynova dose anyway by 4 mg's and whacking them up your VJay Jay regardless!! You've got nothing to lose IMO.

    Does LB do the Viagara therapy???? I hope so as a few days on those would make a difference I feel. Anyhoo...will sit tight and wait to see what she recommends to you Luv.

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  15. #148
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    You're a super star @Summer! You're all over it!! Is he trying to get the contact hours increased by much? xx

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  17. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    You're a super star @Summer! You're all over it!! Is he trying to get the contact hours increased by much? xx
    I hope it's all OK!! It is a significant increase from three nights a fortnight to seven. At the moment we only have weekend time, and the law states that a parent has the right to both quality weekend and weekday time, so it will have to change as it isn't a fair arrangement at the moment, so we've gone for the maximum which is week about. We're prepared so that we have a smooth transition for DSS - so no schooling changes, sports, activities etc, and we'd buy an extra set of all uniforms etc so that he only takes his school bag from one house to another. So we've planned it all out and put that in our documents - we've put forward a really positive case that the parents have managed for six years without legal agreements in place, so they have a history of amicable co-parenting, but seek legal orders now that they can't agree on DH seeing more of DSS.

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  19. #150
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    good luck Summer. I hope it all works out. why does everything have to get so complicated.

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