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  1. #11
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    I'm impressed you enjoy seeing that much of your in laws tbh πŸ˜‚

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  3. #12
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    I think it is a massive commitment to commit going to your house every fortnight, even if only a 5 min drive away. Maybe share the venue around? Would mil like to have it at her place on occasion?

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  5. #13
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    I thought op was venting about her
    Mil's confusion, not whether the commitment was too great.
    Correct me if I'm wrong Op but I didn't get the sense you care one way or another whether they attend dinner or not, but it was that your MIL either doesn't get that the invite is a standing invite to whoever has the girls, or pretends not to get it and is behaving all PA about not being invited.
    To me it sounded A bit like people who always have drinks on a Friday night or who always cook roast on Sunday. The invite isn't an expectation but a kind offer to whoever is free and wants to.

    If the expectation is that they attend every second week that does seem like a bit commitment. And maybe your mil is trying to say that in a somewhat pa way.

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    OP is it possible the girls don't want to come to your place every Saturday night for dinner? Not sure how old they are but when I was a teenager I was out at the movies with my friends on weekends and hanging out at their places. To be honest Saturday afternoons / evenings were sacred as Sunday was usually when we'd have to do something as a family. Or homework.

    Just a thought about why she might be avoiding it without wanting to say why.

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    How old is she? My parents are getting on in years and are starting to get confused more easily and forget things and just be a little difficult at times with things like this. There's no malice intended and they aren't deliberately being obtuse, its just they're getting older.

    I'd take into account that your MIL struggles with this and schedule a text for every week that's 'her' week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    I thought op was venting about her
    Mil's confusion, not whether the commitment was too great.
    Correct me if I'm wrong Op but I didn't get the sense you care one way or another whether they attend dinner or not, but it was that your MIL either doesn't get that the invite is a standing invite to whoever has the girls, or pretends not to get it and is behaving all PA about not being invited.
    To me it sounded A bit like people who always have drinks on a Friday night or who always cook roast on Sunday. The invite isn't an expectation but a kind offer to whoever is free and wants to.

    If the expectation is that they attend every second week that does seem like a bit commitment. And maybe your mil is trying to say that in a somewhat pa way.
    Exactly this!
    The arrangement suits everybody as far as I know, the Sils particularly as they come over anyway to pick up our second car for the weekend, they are over at least twice a week for dinner and genuinely enjoy spending time with my kids.
    It's more mil's insistence on being so aloof about it, someone mentioned maybe she's annoyed it's not at her house... Honestly hadn't thought of that but it could be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    Tbh i would find a weekly commitment like that too challenging. Maybe your mil is struggling with it too? A friendly text invite sent hy you each week would be appropriate, in my view, and dont be upset if people cant make it each and every week.
    Lol right?!
    My in laws (when we were on speaking terms) EXPECTED us to come for dinner every sunday night. When we had ds1 these dinners stopped on our part. Too hard plus with a baby, and me back at work so soon, we needed our own time too. Didn't sit well with in laws, hence the not talking.

    Maybe your mil is the same? Wants more of her own time with her girls?

    Maybe with her you could make it once a month?


 

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