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  1. #1
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    Default Vent, mil 😡

    This is more of a vent as I know I'm being petty and DH has offered to take over the issue with his mother so I don't have to deal with her...
    SO late last year I started a bit of a tradition to have family dinner on Saturday , my in laws are divorced and their teen girls still do the weekend on weekend off with each set of parents. I said how about where ever the girls are with they all come over for dinner on Saturday. This was told to everybody and all agreed. Now it's been 3 months and fil is awesome with it he just knows between 4 and 5pm come one over on Saturday unless we cancel in which case we'd call... Great!
    Mil is driving me nuts, every other week she acts confused when ever I mention family dinner, if I don't specifically send her a message or call her she'll say she wasn't invited even tho I've mentioned it through the week! I don't got time for this!!! 😠

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    This sounds very annoying and perhaps passive aggressive on her part. Can you steal her phone and set up a calendar reminder for every fortnight??? Good luck. X

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    Mod-xkwzit  (06-02-2016)

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    Sounds extremely frustrating! If I were you I'd have DH say something to her along the lines of 'you're invited every Saturday night to our place, we won't be calling/ texting every week, just assume Saturday family dinners are always on, you are welcome to attend or not if you're busy, we completely understand. If for some reason we have to cancel we will call you in advance to let you know'. Then just disengage from the drama, if she says oh I wasn't invited say yes you were, you're always invited to family dinner every Saturday night.

    Sounds like she's being an attention seeker. Maybe she has a problem with family dinners being at your place and not hers, or having FIL there too. In any case, if she has a problem she should bring it up and stop acting childishly.

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    Tbh i would find a weekly commitment like that too challenging. Maybe your mil is struggling with it too? A friendly text invite sent hy you each week would be appropriate, in my view, and dont be upset if people cant make it each and every week.

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    VicPark  (06-02-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    Tbh i would find a weekly commitment like that too challenging. Maybe your mil is struggling with it too? A friendly text invite sent hy you each week would be appropriate, in my view, and dont be upset if people cant make it each and every week.
    tend to agree with this.

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    VicPark  (06-02-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    Tbh i would find a weekly commitment like that too challenging. Maybe your mil is struggling with it too? A friendly text invite sent hy you each week would be appropriate, in my view, and dont be upset if people cant make it each and every week.
    This.
    Every week especially on a Saturday night is full on.

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    Default Vent, mil 😡

    Sorry I think I wasn't clear, the arrangement is for every week but because they're divorced it's every other week each, so when FIL has the kids he comes and mil is off the hook and vice-versa, there's no pressure to attend my Sils both work so on occasion someone can't make it. It's more the fact that she acts so precious about it like I have to formally invite her.
    Also she lives 5 min drive away... So it's not a huge travel commitment
    Last edited by ciaomamma; 06-02-2016 at 12:12.

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    So it's fortnightly?

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    Maybe I misunderstood but isn't it one week FIL and the girls and the next week MIL and the girls so they alternate every second weekend, but the girls go every Saturday night with whichever parent they are with?

    It would be too much for me, personally once a month each would be plenty for me with my family, but if that's the only chance you get to see the girls, then I can totally understand it. I agree about the reminder on MIL phone, or if the girls can take charge of it and remind MIL on their Saturday with her that it is with you for dinner. Unless of course it is too much for MIL, then just make it the last Saturday of the month that she has the girls and maybe that would work for her. It does sound frustrating though - it's simple enough!

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    lol yes forthrightly that would have been easier explanation...
    I don't feel it's too much the main reason we set it up is so we can all get together on a regular basis, mostly it's the only time we see FIL, mil sometimes is over a lot throughout the week other times we don't see her for ages.
    We have a Facebook group chat with the Sils and they do remind her, but for example if they say their mum "today we're going to dinner lets go at 5" mil will say something along the lines of "I didn't know this was happening" even tho on Wednesday that week I had verbally confirmed the girls were with her and she'd come over for dinner... DH has texted her it's not a big deal I just don't get why she's acting this way... Surely she must have more memory than that lol


 

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