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  1. #1
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    Default School Mum Bullies - advice needed

    This is my sons first year at school in prep. Our first in school. I just need advice on how others deal with particular groups - meaning other mums. I am a friendly, talkative person and likes to get on with everyone. I don't talk about anyone behind their backs etc. I'm not like that.
    I've known some particular ladies for a few years through daycare and sports which they were lovely to me.
    Now our kids are I the same class - they won't say boo to me. Ignore , look the other way as I try to make eye contact to say hello etc.
    A few days ago I went up to one to say hello and had a conversation and when the bell rang and I walked away I could see them talking .... About me. That night they blocked me from FB as we are friends on there. The conversation was only about swimming lessons and things the kids did in the classroom.
    I keep going over and over in my head what I did wrong. I even cry over it, long hard crys wondering why I am being treated like this.
    After years of being friendly they have just turned on me.

    What do I do? What do I do now when I pass them everyday. Do I still say hello or just save it for someone that deserves it. I'm not used to others being like this too me. It's such an awlful thing that I dread school drop or and pick up now.

    Please help

  2. #2
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    Default School Mum Bullies - advice needed

    I wouldn't acknowledge them anymore. Not be nasty about it or make a big deal of it, just go past them like they were other mums you had never met.
    As for why they do it, honestly, the high school attitude just never ends for some people.
    I wouldn't try to rekindle any friendship with them. They know where you are if they want to talk. Focus on making new friends. Talking to other mums.
    I know that saying don't let it get to you is pointless, purely because. of course it gets to you. Just don't let them know that. Take the high road and move on. That will fulfil you better in the long term.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    I wouldn't acknowledge them anymore. Not be nasty about it or make a big deal of it, just go past them like they were other mums you had never met.
    As for why they do it, honestly, the high school attitude just never ends for some people.
    I wouldn't try to rekindle any friendship with them. They know where you are if they want to talk. Focus on making new friends. Talking to other mums.
    I know that saying don't let it get to you is pointless, purely because. of course it gets to you. Just don't let them know that. Take the high road and move on. That will fulfil you better in the long term.
    Perfectly said. Who knows why they're doing what they're doing. Ignore them and move on and make friends who you deserve.

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    I think if they really had an issue with something you had done or said they should have discussed it with you like the adults you all are.

    Instead they are just ignoring you. They aren't worth it. Move on and find some people who are more worth your time.

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    Rock up to the school pick ups like you don't give a s--t they exist. Don't even make eye contact. Breeze past them.

    They sound like cliquey high school mentality bishes that have decided to exclude you for probably some extremely insignificant reason.

    Proper friends don't just suddenly exclude another friend without a valid reason.

    Hold your head high, I'm sure there's other mums who'd appreciate a chat with you

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    Hugs x I had my first exposure to this yesterday and it was awful.

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    Hypothetically I would like to confront them in a "friendly" way and ask why have they blocked you and is there something there some issue you are not aware of, just to make them uncomfortable and put them on the spot.
    In reality though I would just ignore and make new friends. I can understand that it would hurt though since you used to be friendly with them before.

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    Focus on other mums. Invite someone new out for coffee. You never know they might be feeling the same.
    Get involved with the school as much as you can. Join the p&c. Volunteer in the classroom or even offer to take stuff home and do for the teacher. Often they have sewing/cutting out stuff or cutting it up, filling glue bottles etc.

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    Prep is the perfect opportunity to make new friends. I'd ignore them, breeze past with a smile as others have said and look out for mums who seem a bit on the outer - is there anyone who seems to stand by themselves and look a little lonely, or alternatively is there someone who seems super friendly and smiles at everyone? Go up to those people and smile, chat, and make a new friend.

    If the bully mums are as awful to others as they have been to you (and it will happen over time if they are that kind of person) then they will develop reputations. Leave them to their own social self destruction.

    (For instance - last year when DS was in prep there were a few mums like this. Only a handful, but it made things unpleasant for a while. Fast forward to this year and everyone else avoids them like the plague because we've all been burned.)

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    I act busy, all the time. Breeze in, smile, grab the kids, and leave.
    Sometimes I say "Hello, nice day" as I rush past- even if I don't know the person.

    Have had a LOT of parents approach me trying to be friendly at school events, probably because I appear as if I don't need them- people like to be needed.
    I am friendly and chatty.

    I have made two very good 'school mum' friends- we go for coffee around pickups and chat via email, but don't really spend time together.

    I volunteer at the school a bit, and everyone knows me as the busy friendly stepmum now. Shame this baby won't go there, or I would cement my position a bit more- we just live too far.

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