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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I don't think you should bring it up with either the teacher or the other parent. it's just kids being kids.

    maybe the new friend went home and asked her parents who Santa is and why doesn't Santa come to our house and these parents are just as annoyed as you?

    if it was the other parents specifically telling your child Santa is fake then I think you'd have cause to be upset.

    but you can't control what other kids say. it's not really the teachers problem or that of the other parents that a Christmas myth has been ruined for your child.

    I think if you handle this correctly with your kid then maybe you can convince them Santa does exist? don't make a huge deal out of it and just brush it off. hopefully by Christmas this year they'd have forgotten all about this incident.

    I worked out Santa didn't exist on my own, I would've been about 8 I think? my parents were real amateurs, writing gift cards to us "from santa" but I saw it was my dads hand writing. he tried denying it when I questioned him but I knew I smelled a rat. after that I used to go hunting for presents in their closet to try and trip them up at Christmas.

    I find the whole thing a bit sad. you lie to your kids for a few years then they invariably uncover the truth at some point anyway. it's no less disappointing when that day comes. not sure I'll bother with Santa with our LO. I'd rather just be honest and upfront with my kid.
    I'm not telling the teacher. We told our daughter that she can believe what she wants to believe, it's her choice. And we did change the subject rather quickly.
    The other little girl wouldn't of went home & asked because she specifically told my daughter "santa is a fairytale & your mum & dad are lying if they say santa is real" Of course it's a lie, a white lie which many parents tell, so that they can see the joy on their kids faces on Christmas morning when they see Santa ate the cookies & delivered presents.
    I know when I found out I was disappointed & Christmas was still a beautiful time to celebrate but the "magic" of it all was gone. I just want my kids to experience that "magic" a little longer. Because when they don't, I know that they really are growing up

  2. #22
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    you can't pin all of your expectations on Santa to keep Christmas "magical". I don't know why parents do this to themselves. perpetuate a myth/lie then get upset when it all implodes. you're setting yourselves up for disappointment.

    Christmas is as magical as you make it. you don't need the presence of a fat guy in a red suit to make or break your kids festive season.

    I've never been a big Santa fan, even as a kid. meh, maybe it's easy for me to wave my hand at it and dismiss it all.

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    sounds to me like you have issues with their brethren beliefs (I'm not even sure what that is, are they like hardline evangelical folk, like Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints type thing?). you don't have to agree with their beliefs any more than they have to believe in yours.

    as other posters have pointed out, maybe your DD was starting to question the existence of Santa herself and they had a conversation about it and the reinforcement of one of her peers is enough to allow her to feel comfortable enough to bring it up with you?

    you can't baby kids forever because you want to retain the "magic of Christmas". sounds to me you're more cut up about it for your own reasons than your DD potentially figuring things out for herself.
    Again, I don't have a problem with their beliefs at all. I couldn't care less what they do. As I'm sure they don't care what I believe in. I don't know how much clearer I have to make that.
    And again I'm aware I can't baby my children & make them believe in Santa forever but when I have a 2 year old son who is starting to just understand what Christmas is like in MY family, I would like it if she made her decision & kept it between me & her dad. That's all I'm saying.

  5. #24
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    would it really be the end of the world if he grew up with Santa doubts though?

    even if your DD chooses not to believe, could you have a quiet word to her and ask her not to say anything to her siblings about Santa? it sounds to me like she's choosing to keep believing and hopefully this incident is all but forgotten very soon.

  6. #25
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    If your DD does stop believing, you can still have the 'magical' Christmas. When my DS1 stopped believing, I told him that Christmas is still magical, that yes I was behind it all, but that I managed to create to such a magical day every year, to have such excited kids, such joy, such lovely happy moments. I told him that even though he knows about Santa, that Christmas is still very very special and magical for him, because now HE will help me to make that 'magic'! He is now in on the act, he can help me choose presents for the younger ones, he can help them get excited about Santa, he can help them write their letters to Santa, and then he gets to see their excited little faces on Christmas morning AND he still gets presents! It made him feel very special.

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  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    would it really be the end of the world if he grew up with Santa doubts though?

    even if your DD chooses not to believe, could you have a quiet word to her and ask her not to say anything to her siblings about Santa? it sounds to me like she's choosing to keep believing and hopefully this incident is all but forgotten very soon.
    No of course it wouldn't. I would however like him to experience Christmas just like his other siblings did though. If for some reason he doesn't, fine.
    And that's what we have told her. Hence me saying whatever she chooses to believe in should be kept between herself, me & her dad.
    Hopefully you are right & it does blow over. And if it doesn't, we'll have to have another talk about it.

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  10. #27
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    I'd be annoyed. Ok, it is the truth, but you could argue there are a lot of truths we should keep to ourselves!

    I wonder what the reaction would be if your DD told her Brethren friend that God was in fact a made up story for ancient people to explain science.... which we now have. I suspect her mother would be furious.

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    Dd1 (8.5) has questioned this for a while. We simply said if you don't believe you don't receive. She said she still believed (although we knew she was just saying that so she still got Santa presents!). Xmas just gone was a big one. She admitted she knew dh and I were Santa and told us how she knew. We already had purchased the gifts so she still received. And it definitely didn't ruin the magic for her. She still had that sparkle in her eye, the look of joy opening her presents and of course the over the top yelling "its Xmas its xmas!" At ridiculous o'clock. Knowing Santa isn't real hasn't changed her feelings towards Xmas at all. And having younger siblings, she respects that they do still believe and so do lots of other children so she keeps it to herself.

    Personally I stopped believing at around 10. But I still continued to get Santa presents well into my teens (heck, I even get them now off family!). Xmas is still magical. I suppose too because for our family its the one time of year the whole family gets together and thats what its always been about for us.

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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I'd be annoyed. Ok, it is the truth, but you could argue there are a lot of truths we should keep to ourselves!

    I wonder what the reaction would be if your DD told her Brethren friend that God was in fact a made up story for ancient people to explain science.... which we now have. I suspect her mother would be furious.
    Thank you! This is my point! I don't tell me daughter to say those things because it's the wrong thing to do!
    I wish this girls parents thought the same way though

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  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shells85 View Post
    Thank you! This is my point! I don't tell me daughter to say those things because it's the wrong thing to do!
    I wish this girls parents thought the same way though
    You may not know what they've told her though. DD1 knows not to tell other kids she thinks God is made up but occasionally it still comes out. She always tells me later at home and we talk about how she can't tell other kids their beliefs are wrong. She's now found ways to be more diplomatic.

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