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  1. #191
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    Sorry on my phone so not sure how to quote it in response to vicpark if a child came over who doesn't believe in Santa but had a present for him I would say that must be from your parents then because if you don't believe in Santa then he doesn't come to you so sometimes parents step in

  2. #192
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    Default WWYD? 7 year old daughter being told "Santa isn't real"

    You know what, I NEVER considered that my parents 'lied' to me when the said Santa was real. It never even crossed my mind, even as a grown up, that they lied. To me lying is something you do maliciously or to further your self at the expense of someone else etc. I suppose in the dictionary sense of the word yes they did lie but I'm not damaged by it. On the contrary I loved Christmas and still do. I love the idea of Santa and all the magic that comes along with it. If someone told my child that Santa wasn't real I would probably just tell her that is what they think but we know differently. It is the same as religion. God is just another fairytale to me. Would I be upset if someone told my child he was real? Nope, I would just tell her again that is what they think.
    I think it just brings up an interesting discussion about what other people believe and that, as long as we aren't hurting people, we can all believe different things and co-exist quite happily. I guess at least my kid believing in Santa doesn't negatively impact the lives of others.
    Last edited by LaDiDah; 22-02-2016 at 14:55.

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  4. #193
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    I remember feeling a big let down that adults would deliberately spin a yarn to kids re existence of Santa. when I discovered it for myself, confronted them and they persisted with the charade, it annoyed me. it's like the facade was for their benefit more than ours?

    dunno. I'm probably a bit jaded and cynical, always have been, even as a kid.

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  6. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I remember feeling a big let down that adults would deliberately spin a yarn to kids re existence of Santa. when I discovered it for myself, confronted them and they persisted with the charade, it annoyed me. it's like the facade was for their benefit more than ours?

    dunno. I'm probably a bit jaded and cynical, always have been, even as a kid.
    I felt very similar. I remember feeling like I was deceived and humiliated, & that everyone knew & was 'pretending' for me, but were laughing at me because I believed their lie. This was at 7 years old when I found out 'the truth'
    I remember asking my parents repeatedly, 'why did you lie to me?' I felt like my parents, the people I should have been able to trust most, spun a great big tale to deceive me &I didnt understand why. Thats why I dont want to lie to my kids - I want them to know they can trust me. Now obviously I was a fairly 'unique' kid! Most kids dont seem to react or feel this way. But I did, & it has definitely shaped my decisions as a parent.

  7. #195
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    Default WWYD? 7 year old daughter being told "Santa isn't real"

    Gosh everyone has such different experiences with xmas , it is huge in my family and like pp I never felt betrayed at all more in awe and special that mum and dad did all that to make me happy - Thats why I go overboard at xmas time , we all still open presents together every xmas morning with mum and dad and all the grand kids and we are all in our 40,s!
    I'm hoping DS experience will be the same , I still get presents from santa!

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  9. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I felt very similar. I remember feeling like I was deceived and humiliated, & that everyone knew & was 'pretending' for me, but were laughing at me because I believed their lie. This was at 7 years old when I found out 'the truth'
    I remember asking my parents repeatedly, 'why did you lie to me?' I felt like my parents, the people I should have been able to trust most, spun a great big tale to deceive me &I didnt understand why. Thats why I dont want to lie to my kids - I want them to know they can trust me. Now obviously I was a fairly 'unique' kid! Most kids dont seem to react or feel this way. But I did, & it has definitely shaped my decisions as a parent.
    I had the opposite. My mother did the whole Santa thing but my father didn't like it because he saw it as malicious lying.
    I came home when I was 5.5 years old at school after some older kids told me he wasn't real, crying to my Dad saying what the told me. His response "well who the hell told you that crap about him being real anyway". Maybe it was due to his slightly harsh response as well as squashing the "magic" but that hurt me more than the initial lie ever did. When family or other adults would ask me what I wanted Santa to get me for Christmas after that, it was always "Dad told me he wasn't real". (With a sad/irritated tone). He was the one I was angry at, not my mother.

  10. #197
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    Growing up my family never celebrated christmas. There was no tree and no presents and certainly no santa. Nevertheless I have this memory of when I was young and really wishing for a present from santa, writing on a piece of paper and throwing the paper out the window and wishing with all my might that Santa would magically find my note and bring me a present.

    Because the whole santa thing is everywhere and pretty much unavoidable I don't want my kids to miss out like I did so I play along and tell them that Santa only comes to those who believe in them..it's also a way to stop them nagging me for presents, I just say "put it on your list and ask santa for it"

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I felt very similar. I remember feeling like I was deceived and humiliated, & that everyone knew & was 'pretending' for me, but were laughing at me because I believed their lie. This was at 7 years old when I found out 'the truth'
    I remember asking my parents repeatedly, 'why did you lie to me?' I felt like my parents, the people I should have been able to trust most, spun a great big tale to deceive me &I didnt understand why. Thats why I dont want to lie to my kids - I want them to know they can trust me. Now obviously I was a fairly 'unique' kid! Most kids dont seem to react or feel this way. But I did, & it has definitely shaped my decisions as a parent.
    This actually just happened to a good friend of mine. Her nine year old DS asked and she told him 'the truth" and he was so angry and hurt demanding to know why he'd been lied to for so many years! She was in shock!
    My DD just gave me a hug and said thanks for buying the presents!
    I don't even remember finding out - so clearly it had no impact on me!

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    Default WWYD? 7 year old daughter being told "Santa isn't real"

    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I felt very similar. I remember feeling like I was deceived and humiliated, & that everyone knew & was 'pretending' for me, but were laughing at me because I believed their lie. This was at 7 years old when I found out 'the truth'
    I remember asking my parents repeatedly, 'why did you lie to me?' I felt like my parents, the people I should have been able to trust most, spun a great big tale to deceive me &I didnt understand why. Thats why I dont want to lie to my kids - I want them to know they can trust me. Now obviously I was a fairly 'unique' kid! Most kids dont seem to react or feel this way. But I did, & it has definitely shaped my decisions as a parent.
    it's a tough one isn't it?

    I think though if the child is questioning the existence of Santa then parents need to fess up. to keep up the charade is just confusing to the kid because you feel like you're being patronized/lied to/being laughed at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    My DD just gave me a hug and said thanks for buying the presents!
    My DD asked me flat out the xmas just gone and I come clean. She couldn't believe how amazing we were for getting her the pressies from us and Santa and said she was spoiled.


 

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