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  1. #11
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    Default WWYD? 7 year old daughter being told "Santa isn't real"

    Just to add my girls are at an Anglican school and DD1 constantly tell other kids that God doesn't exist.

    Now THAT is a big problem!

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  3. #12
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    I think it's OTT to involve the teacher.

    I would be telling your DD that everyone believes different things. Then I usually turn the question around on them... "what do YOU believe?". We've has this Santa thing a few times over the years, and they always say they still believe. Well, almost always, DS1 is too old for Santa now.

    I also say the same thing re. God, as we've had a scripture teacher and my DD's friend recently tell DD that if you don't believe in God, you're going to hell. DS1 is an atheist, so you can see that this would be upsetting! So again I explain that everyone has different beliefs, that they're not 'facts', they're 'beliefs'.

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  5. #13
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    I am sorry what do you want the teacher to do?
    Other families are entitled to believe what they want. Their kids are allowed to say what they believe. In fact if I parent was to bring this to the teacher and teacher brought it to me I would be fuming. Why is your family beliefs more important than that that child's beliefs.

    I am sorry that you feel the magic in your family was lost. That truly sad. But it isn't the other child's fault.

    It like saying a christian child questioning their faith is little Johnny fault because he doesn't believe.

    Questioning your faith and your family belief system is a very important development stage. It shows both intelligence and leadership. Questioning stuff is how you learn more and mature into your own belief system


    If your child no longer believes than maybe they already had started to develop that individual thought process.

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  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post

    Questioning your faith and your family belief system is a very important development stage. It shows both intelligence and leadership. Questioning stuff is how you learn more and mature into your own belief system
    This this! One of the things I fear most about Australian society and our schooling system is that we are not encouraging our children to think independently and critically!

    OT a bit I know but this comment resonated with me.

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  9. #15
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    I wouldn't make a fuss of it with the other parents. Technically their daughter is telling the truth and you can't hang too much **** on a kid for doing that. You're in an awkward position now though. If it were me and my kid asked me flat out for he truth I feel I couldn't lie to them. Bi would tell my child though that hey only get Santa presents as long as they don't go blabbing the truth to other kids especially their siblings.

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    Quote Originally Posted by M'LadyEm View Post
    I've not faced this personally before, but I have heard of people explaining something similar to this...

    Not everyone believes in Santa - to explain different upbringings/religions. You could possibly use other analogies at this time as well, i.e. God, heaven etc

    Explain to your DD that Santa is real to anyone who believes in Santa. Once you don't believe in Santa anymore, then Santa will stop visiting. Then it's up to your DD to decide if she wants to believe in Santa or not. Plus you can explain that your 2 youngest still believe in Santa, so as long as they believe then Santa will still visit them.
    I like this

    I wouldn't involve the teacher or the child's parents at all. It's perfectly normal for kids to discuss these things. The other child shouldn't be flamed for being truthful.

    I figured out quite early in life that Santa wasn't real, but I kept it to myself because I thought I might get less presents if I told my parents I didn't believe in him

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    Don't bother the teacher!! He/she s got enough to deal with let alone a parent asking them to talk to another about Santa! Tell her it's a story and she has to keep it a secret for her brothers or sisters.or say something vague like "well, if you don't believe you don't receive" By year three most children stop believing because so many children have told them the truth about Santa. It's the ones that don't listen to their friends that continue to believe. Which is very few.. Unfortunately, gone are the times the majority of kids believed in Santa until they're 11.

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  15. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I am sorry what do you want the teacher to do?
    Other families are entitled to believe what they want. Their kids are allowed to say what they believe. In fact if I parent was to bring this to the teacher and teacher brought it to me I would be fuming. Why is your family beliefs more important than that that child's beliefs.

    I am sorry that you feel the magic in your family was lost. That truly sad. But it isn't the other child's fault.

    It like saying a christian child questioning their faith is little Johnny fault because he doesn't believe.

    Questioning your faith and your family belief system is a very important development stage. It shows both intelligence and leadership. Questioning stuff is how you learn more and mature into your own belief system


    If your child no longer believes than maybe they already had started to develop that individual thought process.
    Of course other families/people have different beliefs/religions/traditions & if you read my earlier replies you would of seen me saying that we have brought up our children knowing this & that no one is right or wrong for what they believe in.
    My problem is they don't have to go to school & try drum their beliefs to other kids & tell them "do not believe in Santa your mum & dad are lying". I'm not blaming this little girl, if anything my issue is with her parents.
    I just think it's common courtesy for the other parent to tell their child that there are kids that do believe in Santa & if they do, just let them be. There is no reason to try and tell them otherwise.
    I myself am an athiest, but my kids don't know that. I send them to scripture, I let them ask questions & at the end of the day they will choose what religion they want to follow. Even if they did know, there in no way I would allow them to tell kids who do believe that they are wrong & there is no God. Why? Because it isn't the right thing to do & it's common sense!

  16. #19
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    I don't think you should bring it up with either the teacher or the other parent. it's just kids being kids.

    maybe the new friend went home and asked her parents who Santa is and why doesn't Santa come to our house and these parents are just as annoyed as you?

    if it was the other parents specifically telling your child Santa is fake then I think you'd have cause to be upset.

    but you can't control what other kids say. it's not really the teachers problem or that of the other parents that a Christmas myth has been ruined for your child.

    I think if you handle this correctly with your kid then maybe you can convince them Santa does exist? don't make a huge deal out of it and just brush it off. hopefully by Christmas this year they'd have forgotten all about this incident.

    I worked out Santa didn't exist on my own, I would've been about 8 I think? my parents were real amateurs, writing gift cards to us "from santa" but I saw it was my dads hand writing. he tried denying it when I questioned him but I knew I smelled a rat. after that I used to go hunting for presents in their closet to try and trip them up at Christmas.

    I find the whole thing a bit sad. you lie to your kids for a few years then they invariably uncover the truth at some point anyway. it's no less disappointing when that day comes. not sure I'll bother with Santa with our LO. I'd rather just be honest and upfront with my kid.

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  18. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shells85 View Post
    Of course other families/people have different beliefs/religions/traditions & if you read my earlier replies you would of seen me saying that we have brought up our children knowing this & that no one is right or wrong for what they believe in.
    My problem is they don't have to go to school & try drum their beliefs to other kids & tell them "do not believe in Santa your mum & dad are lying". I'm not blaming this little girl, if anything my issue is with her parents.
    I just think it's common courtesy for the other parent to tell their child that there are kids that do believe in Santa & if they do, just let them be. There is no reason to try and tell them otherwise.
    I myself am an athiest, but my kids don't know that. I send them to scripture, I let them ask questions & at the end of the day they will choose what religion they want to follow. Even if they did know, there in no way I would allow them to tell kids who do believe that they are wrong & there is no God. Why? Because it isn't the right thing to do & it's common sense!
    sounds to me like you have issues with their brethren beliefs (I'm not even sure what that is, are they like hardline evangelical folk, like Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints type thing?). you don't have to agree with their beliefs any more than they have to believe in yours.

    as other posters have pointed out, maybe your DD was starting to question the existence of Santa herself and they had a conversation about it and the reinforcement of one of her peers is enough to allow her to feel comfortable enough to bring it up with you?

    you can't baby kids forever because you want to retain the "magic of Christmas". sounds to me you're more cut up about it for your own reasons than your DD potentially figuring things out for herself.


 

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