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  1. #11
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    this is me only Im single so the choice is 110% made for me lol
    I was so, so done but now Im clucky sometimes

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by sjk View Post
    I'm similar. After ds I knew I wasn't done I wanted a second and we wanted a close gap. DD is 6.5 weeks old and the older she's getting the more I'm feeling settled and I know dh is complete at two. I guess I always thought I'd have 3 but now we've got two I can just see how much simpler life can be. I know I'll get clucky - maybe not for the baby but for pregnancy. I feel guilty in saying this but having one of each is making me more settled as if we'd have had a second boy I'm sure I'd have wanted a third.
    I do think if we had one of each I would be more inclined to finish. But then I have a lot of friends who have 3 or 4 boys - never did get their girl, so would of course have to be fully prepared to have a third boy.

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    Nemmi1987  (17-03-2016)

  4. #13
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    the way I feel tonight I reckon I might be done after 1!! 😂😁

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    the way I feel tonight I reckon I might be done after 1!! 😂😁
    I had that feeling for 2 years. Or maybe more lol.

    I still am petrified of having a 2nd but no turning back now!

    I am interested to see if my feelings change after this bub. I only wanted 1 - DH wanted 2. Then we kinda went with '1 is fine but if the 2nd happens that's fine too'. 3 has never been on my radar. So interested to see if I am done
    Last edited by twinklify; 17-03-2016 at 20:35.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (18-03-2016),Nemmi1987  (17-03-2016)

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I had that feeling for 2 years. Or maybe more lol.

    I still am petrified of having a 2nd but no turning back now!

    I am interested to see if my feelings change after this bub. I only wanted 1 - DH wanted 2. Then we kinda went with '1 is fine but if the 2nd happens that's fine too'. 3 has never been on my radar. So interested to see if I am done
    let us know how you go!!

    I realistically think 2 is good, it's nice to have a little playmate for the first.

    doubt I'd have the headspace or finances for 3+ but then you never know. maybe a third with a bigger age gap would be ok. although I'm 36 this year so not like I've got that much time to sit round and think about it 😂

  8. #16
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    The only thing I'm worried about is the bond between the girls is amazing, don't want a 3rd wheel. Can 3 be great mates?

  9. #17
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    I have just had DD2 three months ago and I absolutely know that I'm not done now. I was so set on just the two but I just can't let go of the wanting a third now. It's not to have a boy or anything like that, I just know I have another place in my heart for one more somewhere down the line. I think a third will fit right in.

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  11. #18
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    Oh I'm so glad I stumbled across this thread! I can totally relate OP as I change my mind almost every hour about having a second. My DD is 8 months old and a miracle Bub as I thought I'd never conceive due to fertility issues. I always thought due my issues I'd only have one but now I'm starting to think maybe we should try again and see if we get lucky a second time. But then I have so many doubts fly into my head and I can't seem to make a decision. My fiancé is happy either way. I'm scared though if we decide not to try then I'll regret it. I'm running out of time due to my age and also my fertility issues so I need to figure it out. Part of me thinks we should just go for it and if it's meant to be it will be but I'm still being held back by something... I think I'm worried I won't cope with 2 as I struggled a lot with sleep deprivation and ended up with a bit of PND as a result. I feel like I'm under so much time pressure that is makes it harder. I'm not good under pressure!

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    The only thing I'm worried about is the bond between the girls is amazing, don't want a 3rd wheel. Can 3 be great mates?
    Yes, there is 5yrs between my brother and i as i didnt sleep well and mum lost a bub he is younger. I have an older sister too, they arent as close but still have a good relationship and as kids we were all good together. I am very close with my little brother we shared a room till we were 7 and 12 and i miss he doesnt live as close anymore. I want a 3rd but in a bigger gap like this when working more and dd is bigger to follow instructions. That being said im not due.for another 11 weeks with this bub but ill remind myself in a few yrs why 3 is a good number

  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Furmumma View Post
    Oh I'm so glad I stumbled across this thread! I can totally relate OP as I change my mind almost every hour about having a second. My DD is 8 months old and a miracle Bub as I thought I'd never conceive due to fertility issues. I always thought due my issues I'd only have one but now I'm starting to think maybe we should try again and see if we get lucky a second time. But then I have so many doubts fly into my head and I can't seem to make a decision. My fiancé is happy either way. I'm scared though if we decide not to try then I'll regret it. I'm running out of time due to my age and also my fertility issues so I need to figure it out. Part of me thinks we should just go for it and if it's meant to be it will be but I'm still being held back by something... I think I'm worried I won't cope with 2 as I struggled a lot with sleep deprivation and ended up with a bit of PND as a result. I feel like I'm under so much time pressure that is makes it harder. I'm not good under pressure!
    I have a friend in a similar situation (although her DS is 3 yrs old). It's pretty scary when you've had a difficult time first time. Although I didn't get PND I had a traumatic birth with DS1 and really really struggled with the newborn phase and didn't really enjoy parenting until DS1 was maybe 2?? Or even older. I wasn't 'ready' for another until he was about 3 (and took another 1.5 yrs for DS2 due to DH health scare and a later MC).
    Anyway I just wanted to say it has been sooooooo different for me this 2nd time round. Much better birth experience, baby with a totally different temperament, I am more chilled out and relaxed as I have 'done it before', more confident etc. whilst there are never guarantees you may find it much easier with a second, even actually enjoy it!

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