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  1. #1
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    Default Don't know what to do about DDs behaviour after witnessing accident, Advice?

    DD1 (just turned 2) has been really off her Dad the last few weeks, she won't let him pick her up, get her dressed, she used to run and cuddle him when he got home from work but now she doesn't want a bar of him. She has had some epic tantrums over things he has tried to help her with ie him getting her dressed after shower etc.

    This all started when we were visiting his mum and before we were ready to leave DH tripped on the bed and fell into the window pane which shattered and sliced his back open, DD1 & DD2 were both there (I was outside) he called to me I had started to come in when I'd heard the glass break,cleaned him up, DD1 was very upset but I settled her and we moved on. Every time she saw the wound she would say daddy fall down and mentioned it a fair bit the days after, we talked to her a lot about how people can fall down and then they get better etc.

    When I got home from work tonight DH said he had been playing with them and had asked her if she likes daddy to which she said , no don't like daddy he said why not and she said, daddy fall down. This happened weeks ago (first week of January) this seems to be going on a long time? I really don't know where to go with this now.. Should I see her GP, does she have some kind of ptsd? Any advice, experiences? They had such an amazing relationship prior to this.

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    I dare say your dd still loves daddy - she has just been scared by what has happened.

    Maybe daddy could read a book to her each night about someone (a favourite character etc) that got sick and went to the doctor and then got better. Then daddy could say look he is better like elmo or peppa etc.

    Just a thought - perhaps a silly one.

    Best of luck

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    Maybe in her mind maybe it's that what Daddy did scared her and she is too young to understand it was an accident. Daddy scared her -that's all she knows. Be it from an accident or deliberate - she can't tell the difference at that age so she is linking the emotion from that day to your DH and it's his fault she got scared. Does that make sense? My DD ( older) slammed her finger in a door really hard and required surgery and she got kind of a 'door phobia' if it slammed when her hand was near it or it closed too hard from the wind she would freak out completely. I wouldn't worry too much - just act as normal and she will trust him again. Not nice for you DH though I am sure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CleverClogs View Post
    Maybe in her mind maybe it's that what Daddy did scared her and she is too young to understand it was an accident. Daddy scared her -that's all she knows. Be it from an accident or deliberate - she can't tell the difference at that age so she is linking the emotion from that day to your DH and it's his fault she got scared. Does that make sense? My DD ( older) slammed her finger in a door really hard and required surgery and she got kind of a 'door phobia' if it slammed when her hand was near it or it closed too hard from the wind she would freak out completely. I wouldn't worry too much - just act as normal and she will trust him again. Not nice for you DH though I am sure.


    Oh I totally agree with this, it totally makes sense, as yes your DD probably doesn't understand accidents at this young age.In her mind, her father did something that scared her terribly. I think if he tries to spend some quiet gentle time with her, she will ease up and trust her father again.. It's really hard with toddlers as they don't understand easily....not long ago, my DP, I and my DD's were walking the dog, and another dog ran across the road, out of it's yard and it got hit by a car. My DD2 was terribly upset and cried, it is a terrible thing to witness, child or adult, but she is old enough to understand (she is 9) that accidents happen, and that the dog should not have been in the front yard unrestrained. Our dog was on a leash.

    I am sure your little one will come round to her daddy soon, with some gentle activities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CleverClogs View Post
    Maybe in her mind maybe it's that what Daddy did scared her and she is too young to understand it was an accident. Daddy scared her -that's all she knows. Be it from an accident or deliberate - she can't tell the difference at that age so she is linking the emotion from that day to your DH and it's his fault she got scared. Does that make sense? My DD ( older) slammed her finger in a door really hard and required surgery and she got kind of a 'door phobia' if it slammed when her hand was near it or it closed too hard from the wind she would freak out completely. I wouldn't worry too much - just act as normal and she will trust him again. Not nice for you DH though I am sure.
    Oh yes I get what you're saying.. I think that sounds reasonable.!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marchbundle View Post
    Oh I totally agree with this, it totally makes sense, as yes your DD probably doesn't understand accidents at this young age.In her mind, her father did something that scared her terribly. I think if he tries to spend some quiet gentle time with her, she will ease up and trust her father again.. It's really hard with toddlers as they don't understand easily....not long ago, my DP, I and my DD's were walking the dog, and another dog ran across the road, out of it's yard and it got hit by a car. My DD2 was terribly upset and cried, it is a terrible thing to witness, child or adult, but she is old enough to understand (she is 9) that accidents happen, and that the dog should not have been in the front yard unrestrained. Our dog was on a leash.

    I am sure your little one will come round to her daddy soon, with some gentle activities.
    That is a good idea, he can be quite robust with activities ie chasing, throwing balls etc so will encourage quiet activities the 2 of them. Thanks

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    hi, I remember an expierence with one of my cousins. their little girl was only a toddler, so still a little unsteady on her feet. one night she was walking carefully up their front steps, and a friend who was visiting, came up behind the little one and scooped her up in his arms and ran up the stairs with her. it should have been just a fun thing for the little one, but she was traumatised for weeks. she wouldn't even attempt to go up the stairs, she wouldn't look at this friend, she wanted nothing to do with him for quite some time. it really unsettled her. so this sort of accident, or any out of the ordinary expierence can take some time to be processed by a little person. just be gentle and allow the child to adjust, and see that things are ok now. marie


 

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