@CherryCP :-) thanks so much for welcoming me into the thread, my user name is the name of one of my cats :-) i always worry people will think im up- myself calling myself gorgeous lol. I am currently well on my way to being a crazy cat lady but hoping that one day pregnancy and motherhood will rid me of my crazy cat lady status. Its something i joke about when people ask me about having kids, but i only joke coz otherwise id cry about it and i never really wanted to be a crazy cat lady :-). Its so strange over the last 3 days ive transitioned from ending the mourning of my own eggs to totally beong ok with donor eggs. Did anyone else feel like the decision for donor eggs was like a very 'snap' kinda decision? Its like ive wanted to avoid it for years but yesterday i changed my mind and now, today, im as totally dedicated to sorting an o'seas donor as i was to pursuing ivf in the first place. And now, just this evening ive gone from like, 'yeah 70% chance!' to being more realistic and thinking 'when i get back from athens and i get a bfn, how can i get more money to go back?or how can i fly over there x 3, how will i find $30k, after i fail at donor eggs 3 times, then what do i do?' Geez ivf makes you become a crazy person! Has anyone actually done donor eggs cycles 3 times, not frozen left over embys but actually had to pay for 3 whole stim cycles and still not got a positive? Is it possible the universe can be that cruel? Can a human being actually endure that? Aaargh!