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  1. #231
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    ..
    Big massive hugs! I read and then had to get DD. Can you today get a bunch of exciting snacks and DVDs for DD 1 and set her up on the floor in the lounge room covered in cushions. Also call your DH, it's ok to call and ask him to come home.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-03-2016)

  3. #232
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    I lost the plot for a couple of days there (hence no posting). I eventually reached out to DH a sobbing hysterical mess at 1am and told him I was broken and scared I would hurt dd2 (I've come close to shaking her in frustration) or myself. He took yesterday off even though it meant he would probably be in trouble about it at work- it was really bad timing hence why he chose to ignore my distress the day before....

    We had a good chat and he emphasised that I need to communicate better and not let it reach the proportions it had. He admitted he should be doing more to help with sleep deprivation. I spent a lazy day in bed yesterday recuperating whilst he cooked, cleaned and wrangled the kids. I felt so much better for that one day break.

    The funny thing is dd2 is sick so last night she actually slept SEVEN HOURS straight then a quick feed back to sleep for another 3 hours!!!! Won't get that again in awhile I'm sure lol.

    Dd1 starts daycare by herself today. I'm a bit teary and guilty about it but she will adjust and I'm telling myself I'm doing the right thing for her and me. She's nervous about it too, she keeps asking me if I'm staying with her today.

    Things can only get better.

  4. #233
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    Default Not sleeping and not coping- help

    The thing that hurts me most is people still keep mentioning to me - before asking me how are things- how the second baby is easier. So I usually smile and lie. It makes me feel like a failure because I've found it 1000 times harder. I don't recall dd1 sleeping this crap and for this long (10 weeks of sleep deprivation now!) but DH said it's probably because I was catching up a little during the day, now there isn't that option. And I probably blocked it from my mind otherwise I wouldn't of done it again (even if it was unintentional)!!

  5. #234
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    Oh LMS big hugs! So courageous of you to reach out, even to your DH. I find that so hard to do. Very glad he stepped up, while I understand work commitments being full on, family will always come first.
    I think we've hit the regression here (I was all smug thinking we wouldn't get it that bad because leap 4 hasn't even been that bad - wrong) and after only a week of really bad nights I have been a misery guts. So if you've had 10 weeks of it - you're amazing for doing what you're doing. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    I have been doing lots of thinking about how hard this mum thing is... And I honestly thought I would be fine (I work in a super high stress job, long hours etc thought I could just apply that same grit to motherhood - wrong again)
    Big hugs to you, we all need to lean on each other for support. Because even though husbands are great, mine even admits he has no idea how full on it must be for me. And friends/women who have older kids are great too, but they do seem to forget a lot of the struggles of those early months. Haha probably a coping mechanism xx

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-03-2016)

  7. #235
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    Oh I'm so sorry you've been having such a bad time. And don't listen to the comments about the second being easier. All babies are different it doesn't matter what order they come! My ds1 is a great sleeper now but we had to do sleep training at 6 months and at the time I felt like he was so awful and everybody else had Angel babies. Now I've got an 8 month old who refuses to follow the sleep training rules I'm realising that I'm lucky ds1 is so good but I still wouldn't class him as being an easy baby. They all go through different stages and for me I definitely find the first year the toughest. Toddler tantrums can be awful but trying to entertain a baby with a tiny attention span is so hard imo. Just remember that having a bad sleeper doesn't make them a bad baby it just means they are usually more grumpy due to lack of sleep (I always tell myself if I'm exhausted getting up multiple times a night to deal with a baby who keeps waking and crying surely the baby is knackered too?!) so try not to get frustrated as they are struggling too. I don't like leaving my babies to cry while doing sleep training but I also hate to see them so upset and frustrated when they are trying to sleep but just havnt worked out how.
    I hope you have some better days soon and your DH is able to be around to help out over the weekend. Take care of yourself and switch off to what people around you are saying, you're doing an amazing job and you will get through it. X

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  9. #236
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    Hugs LMS. Good on you for reaching out! It's a hard step to take, but hopefully it will be easier for you to do next time! I'd recommend trying before you reach breaking point though 😊
    You're doing so well. Having a baby who doesn't sleep is hard work!
    Be kind to yourself.

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  11. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    The thing that hurts me most is people still keep mentioning to me - before asking me how are things- how the second baby is easier. So I usually smile and lie. It makes me feel like a failure because I've found it 1000 times harder. I don't recall dd1 sleeping this crap and for this long (10 weeks of sleep deprivation now!) but DH said it's probably because I was catching up a little during the day, now there isn't that option. And I probably blocked it from my mind otherwise I wouldn't of done it again (even if it was unintentional)!!
    Hugs xx

    My second (now 9months) has been way harder than my first!

    I hope your DD enjoys daycare today - my DS thrived at daycare (he was a cryer at drop off for ages but always settled fast so don't let that put you off).

    Best wishes!

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-03-2016)

  13. #238
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    Default Not sleeping and not coping- help

    Dd1 had a great time I was more excited to see her than she was to see me!!!
    I'll see how she settles over the next month and if she really enjoys it I might try to get a second day

    Financially it's tough but I enjoyed the peace and quiet, wish I left her there longer!

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  15. #239
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    Default Not sleeping and not coping- help

    OP big hugs. Xx glad your dd1 had a good day at school.

    You can take this with a grain of salt - I won't be offended. I'm just feeling a little stressed in your behalf so can't hold back- hate to see a fellow mum struggling

    I just want to let you know that it's ok to not stick to a time-frame/parenting philosophy if it's not working for you. You mentioned that you want to wait until bub is 6 months before sleep training. If you're not coping (because sleep deprivation sucks dogs balls big time!) there is no shame in sticking the 6 month time frame where the son don't shine and making whatever tweaks you can to help you get a good nights sleep. There's no point martyr ing yourself to prove a point. I get you are worried about bub being young - I really do. There are plenty of gentle things that can be done to help a. In sleep through (timing of naps, bedding, room temp, night routine etc). Feel free to PM me if you would like to swap ideas.

    Hang in there. Xxx
    Last edited by VicPark; 11-03-2016 at 22:59.

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  17. #240
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    Default Not sleeping and not coping- help

    Thanks VP.

    I think I'm reluctant to do anything right now because what if it doesn't work? What then? I'm staring into the abyss. At least right now I still have hope (and confidence) things will improve soon.

    I'd hate to try and fix things too soon and be devastated if it backfires and doesn't work.

    I'm trying to hold on until daylight savings ends. She'll be 5+ months, I'll be more confident she's capable of being able to move past catnapping and can cope without the multiple night feeds.

    Just got to hang in there and do what I need to get through this. It's just all too hard to try and do anything at the moment as I'm so exhausted, but there is a plan, and hope
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 11-03-2016 at 23:21.


 

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