I'm really starting to struggle with my 13 week old dd2. I know she is only still young, but she was sleeping ok (1x5-6 hour stretch, then 3-4 hours) but over the past month it's deteriorated to the point where at best I get one 3 hour stretch then every 1-2 hours she's awake.
The past 6 nights I have survived on 1-4 hours broken sleep each night. I am unable to take it easy during the day as I have a 3 year old who is constant and exhausting. I do line up their nap in the arvo, sometimes it's hit and miss whether I get any sleep or a couple of hours. The only help is mum who will take dd1 out once a week for a few hours.
Dd2 will not take a bottle and DH has to drive almost 2 hours each way to work everyday so he can't help me at night.
I am starting to feel physically sick from exhaustion. I almost fainted putting fuel in the car yesterday. I fantasise about having an accident- not to hurt myself but simply so I can have a rest in the hospital and let everyone else deal with it. I am teary and irritable and just starting not to care about anything any more. I know this will stop with a decent sleep.
I can't help but think it's something I've done wrong as dd2 was sleeping good and now she's not. She's not in any regression. She's swaddled in an ergo cocoon, white noise, dark room with black outs, no dummy and is put to bed drowsy but awake about 70% of the time. I try not to feed her when she wakes but it's the only way to settle her. I'm happy to let her grizzle or fuss but she yells/cries and I worry about her waking dd1.
I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, sympathy, just to vent or whatever. I just feel like cr@p, my d1 and DH are coping it, I don't like who I am at the moment and I'm hating it.