I'm lying here awake thinking about this. My mother has an anxiety disorder that she won't seek treatment for. It seems to be episodic so when it's not triggered she's ok, but when it is she spirals into this madness.
The last few times it's manifested has related to her daughters - my sister and I. We made choices, or looked to her like we were making choices, that she felt would ruin our lives. These were separate incidents, years apart. It resulted in my sister and I becoming estranged from the family for about two years each as she wouldn't let the rest of the family talk to us (out of fear she'd lose the plot completely).
My brothers tend to react to this by trying to keep everyone happy by finding a middle ground. This never works because she's irrational and is generally making outrageous demands.
I feel like my place in my family is dependant on me only making important life choices that she agrees with. I'm in my mid 30s. I love my family. I don't know what to do.