@mrsparso and @Heyside i feel the same about 'wishing away' life. Sometime i wonder whether when i hit 40, I'll wake up and realise i spent my 30's doing nothing except ivf and regret not just appreciating the time i had but its hard coz i have no other choice but to give up trying altogether. Last night i was trying to think of things i could plan and do if ivf doesnt work out in the next 5 years or so but i couldnt think of anything, except sleeping in on the weekends, lol. I dont even remember the dates of anything in the past, just cycle days and what round of ivf i was doing at the time other things happened. Its nice to know other peeps feel the same.