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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shells85 View Post
    I don't work at the moment (after my 4th, been a SAHM now for almost 3 years) but after my 1st 3 children I went back. I didn't work "full time" per say but I worked nights in a leagues club. I would be at home with the kids all day, then my husband would come home & I would literally say "see ya" & go off to work. My normal hours were 5pm-10pm Wed then 5pm- 1-3am Thu, Fri & Sat then 10am-5pm on a Sunday. And in all honestly I was absolutely exhausted. And the time I was at home all I wanted to do was sleep. On the Saturday my husband would let me sleep in or if he worked & was home early I would have a nap but man did I miss out on heaps with my kids. It sucked! None of my kids were sleeping through, I would be up to get 1 ready for school. I ended up leaving when I was 5 months pregnant because it was just all too much.
    I think if you have the support & help or can afford childcare fees it would be ok but for us we have no family around us. We are still relatively new to our area so know no one well enough to ask for help so it's just me & hubby & I know that home is where I'm meant to be at the moment (however tedious it can be at times)
    Woah - having kids throughout the day and then working at night must have been super crazy and exhausting. My hat is off !!!

    We only have my parents near by (Dhs are 2 hours away and 70+) however mine are also in their mid 60's, so cant put too much on them.

    We can afford day care fees as much as we hate paying them, however DD would be in school come 2018 so fees would revert back to 2 children just with before & after school care added.

    Did you find it caused severe tension between you and DH because you were exhausted?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by crt22 View Post
    Woah - having kids throughout the day and then working at night must have been super crazy and exhausting. My hat is off !!!

    We only have my parents near by (Dhs are 2 hours away and 70+) however mine are also in their mid 60's, so cant put too much on them.

    We can afford day care fees as much as we hate paying them, however DD would be in school come 2018 so fees would revert back to 2 children just with before & after school care added.

    Did you find it caused severe tension between you and DH because you were exhausted?
    Thank you 😊 It was utter, craziness! I often look back & wonder how I managed.

    It did cause a bit of tension but it was more frustration based. We were frustrated because we never saw each other. And the tiredness would often make me push him away when really all I wanted was a cuddle.
    I have to say without my husband's support I would never of been able to do it. I felt for him too because he would work all day & would have to bath & get kids ready for bed when all he wanted was to probably chill out.
    You definitely have stick together & work as a team!
    We cherish the nights we are all together now.

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    crt22  (30-01-2016)

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBug'sMum View Post
    I have 3 kids and work 3 or 4 days a week. It is hard work, I'm finding it really busy, school adds a whole new lot of stuff that needs to be done, much much more than childcare.
    My youngest is 16 months and really full on, so it's hard to get much done even on the days I am home.
    I would never give my number 3 back, but I can see that a life with just 2 kids would be a whole lot easier, at this stage anyway.
    Do you mind me asking what more is involved with school (excuse my naivety).

  5. #14
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    Hi

    We have three aged 9, 7 & 4. My husband works full time and I study midwifery full time.

    I think a lot of it depends of the nature and needs of each of the children. If you are living on little sleep, if they fight a lot, if they have physical or mental disabilities. Whether your children are clingy or require constant attention. But putting all of those individual circumstance aside my pros and cons would be

    CONS
    You are outnumbered. And by that i mean that it was much easier to have one on one time or plan outings etc. Plus one can often feel left out.
    There's more homework to help with, after school sports etc to split yourself around (these aren't really cons yet take a lot more juggling with 3).
    Two can sometimes go off and play and the other becomes upset and left out. More expenses and much harder to get accommodation etc with a family of 5.

    PROS
    The biggest pro for me would be that I would never have felt complete without our third. He is so beautiful and really completes our family. I couldn't imagine a life with only 2 children now. Plus they aren't small forever. And now mine are all getting older it's so much fun being together and I'm looking forward to sharing many years ahead.

    Is it hard work... At times! When the third was a baby it was a lot of work physically and mentally. Now the hard work is more in the juggling. It's really hard to balance study and births and being mum and wife. Plus my third certainly hasn't got the attention (craft, education, outing wise) that my first and second got. But it's amazing and I absolutely love it. Good luck 😊

  6. #15
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    OP I'm in this situation too, we have two girls although my youngest is only 4 and a half months and I don't feel done, I actually always wanted 4 kids but it really is hard work when they are babies.
    The thing I am trying to get my head around is in a year or so it will be easier with my two girls but then if we have another we'll be back at square one again but like others have said they are only little for a short time. I just feel a bit guilty for my older DD at the moment not being able to do as much with her as I would like not that she even notices at all I think its just Mummy guilt.
    But I keep telling myself i'm not done and if I want another baby I just have to do whats got to be done to get through as hard as mentally and physically difficult it is.
    Sorry for the bit of a ramble there lol.

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    crt22  (01-02-2016)

  8. #16
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    We kept going back and forth on a third and had the same age gaps as you OP - DS1 was 3 and DS2 was 1. We decided to wait another 12 months to see if we really wanted a third. However #3 had already snuck on board and the decision was made for us.

    DD is now five months old and not an hour goes by that I am not grateful for her. Financially yes things are tighter but our lifestyle has not changed dramatically. It is very, very busy although things are starting to settle down. My boys adore her and she loves her big brothers. It is beautiful.

    If you're thinking about it I would say go for it. Our lives will be busier and crazier and I expect there will be less OS holidays than if we had just had the two. But I can't wait to see what my three will do as they grow.

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    crt22  (01-02-2016)

  10. #17
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    Default Do we go a third ? Pros and cons ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by crt22 View Post
    Do you mind me asking what more is involved with school (excuse my naivety).
    I'm not totally sure what it is, but I feel so much busier with school. I never had to send food to childcare, so making lunch everyday for DS1 (and making sure we have food to send to school) is pretty big. Our school has 2 different uniforms, so keeping on top of which uniform to send him in, when to send swimmers and making sure these things are clean and dry. Also which day library books need to go back, casual days, sending money in for bbq days, dress up days. Then there is homework, sight words and home readers. And play dates and birthday parties, so many birthday parties.
    And I've just finished labelling and covering books, labelling pencils and textas, uniforms and other stuff, massive mission, although once a year only I guess.
    I don't know if it is just my school, but there seems to be a lot. I'm quite glad I was on Maternity leave from work when DS1 started school as I don't know how I would have kept on top of it otherwise. But now I have before and after school care to organise...
    ETA: And ironing school uniforms- I hate ironing!
    Last edited by LittleBug'sMum; 01-02-2016 at 12:56.

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    Ashram  (01-02-2016)

  12. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPrint View Post
    OP I'm in this situation too, we have two girls although my youngest is only 4 and a half months and I don't feel done, I actually always wanted 4 kids but it really is hard work when they are babies.
    The thing I am trying to get my head around is in a year or so it will be easier with my two girls but then if we have another we'll be back at square one again but like others have said they are only little for a short time. I just feel a bit guilty for my older DD at the moment not being able to do as much with her as I would like not that she even notices at all I think its just Mummy guilt.
    But I keep telling myself i'm not done and if I want another baby I just have to do whats got to be done to get through as hard as mentally and physically difficult it is.
    Sorry for the bit of a ramble there lol.
    Yes as soon as we'd had DD #2, knew I wasnt finished.

    Im feeling guilty as well for not spending as much time with #1, thats why I deactivated facebook so it made me spend more quality time and she'd have my undivided attention. So it makes me think with a third, how will she go. By that stage however she'll be around 4-4.5, rather than 2.

  13. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBug'sMum View Post
    I'm not totally sure what it is, but I feel so much busier with school. I never had to send food to childcare, so making lunch everyday for DS1 (and making sure we have food to send to school) is pretty big. Our school has 2 different uniforms, so keeping on top of which uniform to send him in, when to send swimmers and making sure these things are clean and dry. Also which day library books need to go back, casual days, sending money in for bbq days, dress up days. Then there is homework, sight words and home readers. And play dates and birthday parties, so many birthday parties.
    And I've just finished labelling and covering books, labelling pencils and textas, uniforms and other stuff, massive mission, although once a year only I guess.
    I don't know if it is just my school, but there seems to be a lot. I'm quite glad I was on Maternity leave from work when DS1 started school as I don't know how I would have kept on top of it otherwise. But now I have before and after school care to organise...
    ETA: And ironing school uniforms- I hate ironing!
    Call me craxy but id love and thrive on that type of being organised lol I have to be on top of my work load at all times, and so am a little OCD when it comes to planning....

    We're wanting to plan it so I'll still be on mat leave when DD1 starts school

    Can you buy the non iron type of uniform lol

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    giveitago  (01-02-2016)


 

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