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  1. #1
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    Default Do we go a third ? Pros and cons ?!

    Hi all

    We are in a 'situation' where we are unsure if we have a third child. We have 2 daughters (3 & 1) and my DH really wants a boy.

    Some days we are fine with 2 and other days we want a third.

    We earn a good income between us so im wondering what the 'pros' and 'cons' are with having a third. Obviously being blessed with a 3rd says enough in itself but im wondering if we're being selfish......

    We currently pay $2000/month in day care so I would assume once in school it would cost less???

    When speaking with friends who have 2 they say they want to provide a good life but we think we can provide a good life for 3.

    We also have a 7 seater car and 4 bedroom house so no need to upgrade those.

    Any input would be appreciated

  2. #2
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    I think the decision will be can we will without the third- that's what helped us make our decision and we are 13 weeks along with our 3rd. Money and others opinions shouldn't come into what your hearts want as a family imo. You never regret the children you do have.. 😀

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    crt22  (30-01-2016)

  4. #3
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    I have two and hubby wanted a third but we have decided to stop at two for the following reasons
    - easier and more convenient (hold two children's hands/two parents etc)
    - cheaper (want to do private school or pay for house deposit for kids in future etc and daycare fees etc)
    - like an even number
    - would need to upgrade our car
    - holidays etc are easier (cab just get a two bedroom with two singles in one
    - family passes are for 4 people usually
    - would mean staying home from work longer and I am itching to get back into it
    - my youngest was a difficult newborn and the thought of going back there makes me shudder

    I know many of these are superficial reasons. Leading up to my second daughters first birthday I was so upset and considering a third but find myself losing that desire more and more as time passes
    Everyone I know with three never regret their decision so ultimately if you feel like your family isn't compete go for it!

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    crt22  (30-01-2016)

  6. #4
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    I always knew I wanted a 3rd. I had 2 girls 1st & even after them I didn't feel "complete". Hubby & I didn't care if we had another girl or not we just knew that 2 wasn't for us.
    Fast forward & we now have 4, 2 boys & 2 girls. Yes, we don't live a lavish lifestyle & sure we would love to go on more holidays but we couldn't ask for a more loving, content family. Our kids are 8,7,5 & 2 so they are really close. They squabble & fight but are also best friends & I know that when my husband & I are no longer here they will have each other.

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    crt22  (30-01-2016)

  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIsTheNewBlack View Post
    I have two and hubby wanted a third but we have decided to stop at two for the following reasons
    - easier and more convenient (hold two children's hands/two parents etc)
    - cheaper (want to do private school or pay for house deposit for kids in future etc and daycare fees etc)
    - like an even number
    - would need to upgrade our car
    - holidays etc are easier (cab just get a two bedroom with two singles in one
    - family passes are for 4 people usually
    - would mean staying home from work longer and I am itching to get back into it
    - my youngest was a difficult newborn and the thought of going back there makes me shudder

    I know many of these are superficial reasons. Leading up to my second daughters first birthday I was so upset and considering a third but find myself losing that desire more and more as time passes
    Everyone I know with three never regret their decision so ultimately if you feel like your family isn't compete go for it!
    Thats one thing that I really think about is the logistics with traveling as you said. Mind you, we wouldnt be traveling all that often but still something to consider...

    As for leave, I went back to full time work after each DD, so would again have approx 9 months off and rtw full time.

    Thank you for your input

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shells85 View Post
    I always knew I wanted a 3rd. I had 2 girls 1st & even after them I didn't feel "complete". Hubby & I didn't care if we had another girl or not we just knew that 2 wasn't for us.
    Fast forward & we now have 4, 2 boys & 2 girls. Yes, we don't live a lavish lifestyle & sure we would love to go on more holidays but we couldn't ask for a more loving, content family. Our kids are 8,7,5 & 2 so they are really close. They squabble & fight but are also best friends & I know that when my husband & I are no longer here they will have each other.
    Ohhhh this makes me excited lol

    We would live a comfortable life, but not super luxurious by any means.

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    Shells85  (30-01-2016)

  11. #7
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    Does anyone have 3 kids and working full time or know of anyone and how they cope?

  12. #8
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    It was an unplanned pregnancy here, however DP and I are awaiting our little bundle with excitement. I am 35 weeks on Tuesday. I have two children aged 9 and 11, but this is his first. Sometimes I think, you just have to take the plunge or if it happens, it happens. My DP seriously thought he couldn't have kids, but boom lol, what do you know!! I guess he can lol.

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    crt22  (30-01-2016)

  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by crt22 View Post
    Does anyone have 3 kids and working full time or know of anyone and how they cope?
    I don't work at the moment (after my 4th, been a SAHM now for almost 3 years) but after my 1st 3 children I went back. I didn't work "full time" per say but I worked nights in a leagues club. I would be at home with the kids all day, then my husband would come home & I would literally say "see ya" & go off to work. My normal hours were 5pm-10pm Wed then 5pm- 1-3am Thu, Fri & Sat then 10am-5pm on a Sunday. And in all honestly I was absolutely exhausted. And the time I was at home all I wanted to do was sleep. On the Saturday my husband would let me sleep in or if he worked & was home early I would have a nap but man did I miss out on heaps with my kids. It sucked! None of my kids were sleeping through, I would be up to get 1 ready for school. I ended up leaving when I was 5 months pregnant because it was just all too much.
    I think if you have the support & help or can afford childcare fees it would be ok but for us we have no family around us. We are still relatively new to our area so know no one well enough to ask for help so it's just me & hubby & I know that home is where I'm meant to be at the moment (however tedious it can be at times)

  15. #10
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    I have 3 kids and work 3 or 4 days a week. It is hard work, I'm finding it really busy, school adds a whole new lot of stuff that needs to be done, much much more than childcare.
    My youngest is 16 months and really full on, so it's hard to get much done even on the days I am home.
    I would never give my number 3 back, but I can see that a life with just 2 kids would be a whole lot easier, at this stage anyway.


 

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