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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    See those last times things they mention don't bother me. For example I can't wait for the last time DD comes to wake me up at midnight! I'm glad my kids don't fall asleep on me, I can't wait until I no longer have to carry them.

    My thing is I don't enjoy being needed. I don't like being relied upon, so the less my kids need me or totally rely on me, the happier I know I'll be.
    Same. I've said a few times that I can't wait for the boys to be in their early teens. Yeah, they'll be moody and what not but their independence, ability (not to be confused with desire) to have a conversation, watching them become young adults.... I'm hanging for that. Mind you I will miss the squishy toddler cuddles from DS2. Very much.

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    I agree with a previous poster in that personalities probably has much to do with it. I wonder if you could be suffering depression op. Not sure but for me I work, study and don't have family help but I manage quite well, I'm not one to stress much over anything and my kids have all generally been good sleepers so I haven't suffered from sleep deprivation for long periods of time. I also have a very hand's on supportive husband which makes a world of difference I am sure. And honestly dh and my relationship hasn't suffered too much, we both make the effort.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 01-02-2016 at 20:44.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    That's interesting and very honest. I think most people who have kids at least on an intellectual level enjoy being needed by their kids.

    I've this last year taken a lot more time for myself and the kids rely a lot more on DH. I'm surprised how comfortable I am about this. I have a lot of friends who like being the most needed person in their relationship.
    I think this is perhaps where my feelings come from. My kids both come to me first - always! It doesn't sit well with me or DH as it upsets him he's not more needed and I feel touched out all the time because they majority of the time it's me they want, I feel like I'm being ripped off that I can't catch a break like he seems to be able to.
    @Moxy I totally agree! I'd even be happy for an age where they play on their own happily at least 80% of the time. So a bit younger than early teens. Just old enough that if they're arguing over something I can tell them to sort it out and I don't want to hear about it... And they do....that's a milestone I'm waiting for.

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  5. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I think this is perhaps where my feelings come from. My kids both come to me first - always! It doesn't sit well with me or DH as it upsets him he's not more needed and I feel touched out all the time because they majority of the time it's me they want, I feel like I'm being ripped off that I can't catch a break like he seems to be able to.
    Give it time. It's taken years for DH to really appear on my kids radar and its been through consistent things like taking them swimming, doing school drops offs etc. Doing fun and not fun things with them, so he became someone they knew they could rely on.

    It sounds incredibly morbid but if something happens to me I know DH would be ok and the kids would be very well cared for and that really matters to me.

  6. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    See those last times things they mention don't bother me. For example I can't wait for the last time DD comes to wake me up at midnight! I'm glad my kids don't fall asleep on me, I can't wait until I no longer have to carry them.

    My thing is I don't enjoy being needed. I don't like being relied upon, so the less my kids need me or totally rely on me, the happier I know I'll be.
    I'm exactly the same! I enjoy seeing them reach milestones and relish their increasing independence. I try to take in the moments as they happen, but I don't get all upset thinking about the 'last times'.

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  8. #76
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    I'm not particularly enjoying it lately. My 7yo DD is wonderful, but 4 and 2yo DS's are more than a handful and they challenge me in ways I can't even explain. I am completely over this stage they are in and can't wait to start enjoying them again.

  9. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    My thing is I don't enjoy being needed. I don't like being relied upon, so the less my kids need me or totally rely on me, the happier I know I'll be.
    Yes yes yes!!! I've spent all my life wanting to be needed and now that I am, I don't like it one bit ..

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  11. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    See those last times things they mention don't bother me. For example I can't wait for the last time DD comes to wake me up at midnight! I'm glad my kids don't fall asleep on me, I can't wait until I no longer have to carry them.

    My thing is I don't enjoy being needed. I don't like being relied upon, so the less my kids need me or totally rely on me, the happier I know I'll be.
    My children always come to me first. It's because I work part time and my husband works long hours so I am around more and they do it out of habit. If my husband is home, I tell them to ask daddy.

  12. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    My children always come to me first. It's because I work part time and my husband works long hours so I am around more and they do it out of habit. If my husband is home, I tell them to ask daddy.
    This is our situation too, though I tell them the same and it's met with a lot of screaming and crying "but mummy I want YOU to do it, NOT Daddy"

    Sorry to derail your thread OP. As you can see there are a lot of us who feel the same.

  13. #80
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    I do admire those that admit to not loving being a parent or certain aspects of it. It's an exhausting, thankless job and women aren't allowed to dislike any facet of it otherwise that makes us bad mothers.

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