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  1. #31
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    Today? No.

    Ask me again tomorrow.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAT2561 View Post
    I'm not sure that it is helpful in what you are feeling but there is another side. I am now a single mum of twin two and a half year olds and have a similar personality type to you, in keeping order and clean house etc. I only have the two and I'm a stay at home mum but my house is kept tidy, kids are content and inspired with lots of activity and fun and i don't think it's super hard, just constant. To stop the monotony for myself i have an idea of something i want to do each day that will achieve something or be great for me. It might be getting a particular bigger job done at home or it might be going to a new place with the kids. I find just one thing a day makes me feel like it's not the same day repeated endlessly. I feel the frustration at times for sure but i suppose i also get frustrated that people believe having an orderly home etc requires not being with kids or not being a fun parent. I can't go out alone but kids can learn to sit at a cafe or go out for lunch with me and be well mannered. We do it all the time...otherwise i would never get to do anything! I have my kids 100% of the time with no-one at all to babysit but it's all possible. Not dissing what you are saying and as i said i only have two. But it's important to know that things are possible and writing off a tidy house or going to a cafe might make you feel more stressed because you feel trapped. I'll probably get grumpy responses for this but i spent so many years hearing "wait til you have kids" about what i won't be able to do once they come along or the state of my house, and it's not been the case. Twins alone isn't a walk in the park and everyone has different circumstances and challenges, but i get frustrated that parenting is painted as 'it has to be this way'. It doesn't.
    im not sure how your kids dont destroy the house while youre doing your 'big jobs' my 2.5 year old runs riot and my 5.5 year old is hard
    i could not take my 5 yo or 2 yo to a decent cafe, shopping is stressful enough as they run riot or spend he entire time screaming

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  5. #33
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    Generally, yes. I find it far more fulfilling that a career, I know that gets gasps and gaping mouths lol but that's me.

    Having said that, some days I want to get in the car and screech away. DS2 is a beautiful, loving little boy but he is intensely needy and demanding. Like off the charts high maintenance. I often feel 'touched' out and wanting my own space.

    I also agree with the comments about the fact society and the media depict motherhood to be this eternally fulfilling, wonderful thing every moment of every day. It breeds frustration, feelings of guilt and self doubt and competitiveness between mums.

    All I can say is ask yourself do/did you love work every single moment of the day? Did you have days you'd rather stab yourself in the eye with a fork than be at work? Does/Did that mean you hate/d working?

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  7. #34
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    Default Are you enjoying this motherhood thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by HearMeRoar View Post
    Today? No.

    Ask me again tomorrow.
    This! Except I'd go so far as to say it changes throughout the day!
    Last night I was so done. So completely empty.
    I just couldn't deal with the squabbling and fighting and screaming and crying effectively so turned into the mum that I hate being.
    Today I feel better. I had a decent sleep and just have had more patience.
    Mothering is the hardest thing I have done but despite it all I do love it. Not everyday but enough of the time.

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  9. #35
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    Default Are you enjoying this motherhood thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by teenie View Post
    Hang in there lovely mummas. I really didn't enjoy parenthood much from when DD was born (second child) until she started kindy (so about 4 years). I was exhausted, felt constantly guilty, like I couldn't keep the balls in the air etc etc. It was tough. Now that our kids are 6 and 9 I enjoy parenthood so much more. Yep, there are crappy days/weeks but on the whole I feel like me again.
    This is the type of reassurance I know I need. Newborns are hard, but you're told it will pass and it feels like it does because at 1 year old they are fun and you enjoy it as you know you're headed for the terrible twos. They're awful then you get to 3 and no one tells you until they're 3 that it's worse than 2 and the same happens at 4, I'm told they're even harder, it just seems never ending so it's good to know that it does get more enjoyable.

    I know it will never be easy but it would be nice to still enjoy them and life.
    @TaylasWorld I just wanted to offer you a big big hug, sounds like you're
    doing it tough so vent away in here as much as you need.

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  11. #36
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    Default Are you enjoying this motherhood thing?

    Honestly yes. I enjoy it much more than I ever imagined I would.
    That's not to say sometimes I don't want to run forest run and never return!
    I do have two children who are incredibly good sleepers, and are generally well behaved so that makes it easier!
    My partner is a partner in every sense of the word, we are a team, do everything 50/50, he makes sure. I get time out regularly (as I do him), plus my inlaws are awesome and babysit when we need it. My sister also babysits when I ask and my dad has been known to drive the two hours to our house just so he can hang for the weekend with us. Generally he sends us out for a night alone.
    I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy being a mother nearly as much if all my support systems weren't firmly in place.

  12. #37
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    @Nemmi1987 you said you don't know how my kids don't destroy the house while i get big jobs done. Usually it's because i plan carefully to keep them involved in what i am doing or have an activity set up that i know will keep them going while i get things done. Eg: when i have to do a lot of weeding ipull weeds and they are my "runners" taking the pulled weeds to put on piles. I keep it interesting by making it a guessing game which pile I'll send them to. They think it's hilarious and i can weed for two hours with kids occupied. Takes a lot of energy to keep the fun in it but it's worth it. I dunno, that sort of thing is our whole day. If i cook, half the time they cook with me (not always!) And we all pack up before bedtime so the house is neat when they go to bed and I'm not having to do it after. Being on my own and not having a partner to give me a break i have to make me own breaks and for me it's evenings. So i try my best to have all jobs done by kids' bedtimes. As for cafes...have always done it, since babies. I take a snack for them and they love sitting up with me. When they start to get bored i have colouring books and crayons or something similar so i can finish a coffee in peace and genuinely enjoy the time.

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  14. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAT2561 View Post
    @Nemmi1987 you said you don't know how my kids don't destroy the house while i get big jobs done. Usually it's because i plan carefully to keep them involved in what i am doing or have an activity set up that i know will keep them going while i get things done. Eg: when i have to do a lot of weeding ipull weeds and they are my "runners" taking the pulled weeds to put on piles. I keep it interesting by making it a guessing game which pile I'll send them to. They think it's hilarious and i can weed for two hours with kids occupied. Takes a lot of energy to keep the fun in it but it's worth it. I dunno, that sort of thing is our whole day. If i cook, half the time they cook with me (not always!) And we all pack up before bedtime so the house is neat when they go to bed and I'm not having to do it after. Being on my own and not having a partner to give me a break i have to make me own breaks and for me it's evenings. So i try my best to have all jobs done by kids' bedtimes. As for cafes...have always done it, since babies. I take a snack for them and they love sitting up with me. When they start to get bored i have colouring books and crayons or something similar so i can finish a coffee in peace and genuinely enjoy the time.
    I think there is any aspect of personality of children involved in this. I certainly don't want to undermine the effort you put in to keep them occupied and this was exactly the sort of thing I could do with my first born. My second child however just will not attend to tasks in the same way. He is not interested in colouring or quiet activities. He wants to run, jump, move. Constantly. He cannot bear to be constrained in any way. There is no peace with DS2 lol

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  16. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I think there is any aspect of personality of children involved in this. I certainly don't want to undermine the effort you put in to keep them occupied and this was exactly the sort of thing I could do with my first born. My second child however just will not attend to tasks in the same way. He is not interested in colouring or quiet activities. He wants to run, jump, move. Constantly. He cannot bear to be constrained in any way. There is no peace with DS2 lol
    Yep my ds1 was easy to entertain (just dont take him anywhere, he is the king of melt downs lol) he'd happily dig plants etc for hours and still now will help me,
    When I hung washing I'd throw pegs through the lawn and he'd find them lol

    My second born? He managed to disappear in the time it took me to hang one towel, catty cornered under the house and out the front.

    He was climbing the kitchen table before he walked so I knew I was in for trouble

    I'm single, have been on my own since before my Mr 2.5 existed,
    He wouldve been maybe 15 mo this when his version of entertainment was to climb from the seat to the basket in the trolley, now a trolley seat does not do, he rides on the front only lol

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  18. #40
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    Totally agree that temperament and personality traits of the kiddies impacts on how 'easy' or 'hard' it is.

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