I'm not sure that it is helpful in what you are feeling but there is another side. I am now a single mum of twin two and a half year olds and have a similar personality type to you, in keeping order and clean house etc. I only have the two and I'm a stay at home mum but my house is kept tidy, kids are content and inspired with lots of activity and fun and i don't think it's super hard, just constant. To stop the monotony for myself i have an idea of something i want to do each day that will achieve something or be great for me. It might be getting a particular bigger job done at home or it might be going to a new place with the kids. I find just one thing a day makes me feel like it's not the same day repeated endlessly. I feel the frustration at times for sure but i suppose i also get frustrated that people believe having an orderly home etc requires not being with kids or not being a fun parent. I can't go out alone but kids can learn to sit at a cafe or go out for lunch with me and be well mannered. We do it all the time...otherwise i would never get to do anything! I have my kids 100% of the time with no-one at all to babysit but it's all possible. Not dissing what you are saying and as i said i only have two. But it's important to know that things are possible and writing off a tidy house or going to a cafe might make you feel more stressed because you feel trapped. I'll probably get grumpy responses for this but i spent so many years hearing "wait til you have kids" about what i won't be able to do once they come along or the state of my house, and it's not been the case. Twins alone isn't a walk in the park and everyone has different circumstances and challenges, but i get frustrated that parenting is painted as 'it has to be this way'. It doesn't.