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  1. #21
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    I'm not sure that it is helpful in what you are feeling but there is another side. I am now a single mum of twin two and a half year olds and have a similar personality type to you, in keeping order and clean house etc. I only have the two and I'm a stay at home mum but my house is kept tidy, kids are content and inspired with lots of activity and fun and i don't think it's super hard, just constant. To stop the monotony for myself i have an idea of something i want to do each day that will achieve something or be great for me. It might be getting a particular bigger job done at home or it might be going to a new place with the kids. I find just one thing a day makes me feel like it's not the same day repeated endlessly. I feel the frustration at times for sure but i suppose i also get frustrated that people believe having an orderly home etc requires not being with kids or not being a fun parent. I can't go out alone but kids can learn to sit at a cafe or go out for lunch with me and be well mannered. We do it all the time...otherwise i would never get to do anything! I have my kids 100% of the time with no-one at all to babysit but it's all possible. Not dissing what you are saying and as i said i only have two. But it's important to know that things are possible and writing off a tidy house or going to a cafe might make you feel more stressed because you feel trapped. I'll probably get grumpy responses for this but i spent so many years hearing "wait til you have kids" about what i won't be able to do once they come along or the state of my house, and it's not been the case. Twins alone isn't a walk in the park and everyone has different circumstances and challenges, but i get frustrated that parenting is painted as 'it has to be this way'. It doesn't.

  2. #22
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    In general, I love being a mum. I have two DD's aged 9 & 11 and spent a big chunk as a single mum. I am now due in 5 or so weeks with baby no 3 with my DP. You have to sacrafice your lifestyle for kids, for sure but I've never really seen my girls as a burden. The only real time I get time alone with DP is when my girls go to their dad's place for one weekend a month. My kids fight a lot but that's siblings in general. They also are each other's best mate but will never admit it. It's hard to appreciate our kids sometimes but they are only little once. Sex is non existent in my relationship right now and I worry but I know it's only temporary. I've had depression so bad, i can't get out of bed but because of my daughters needing me, I've had to get up.
    Parenthood is a tough gig and yes, it can be monotonous but when I get complimented on how good the kids are it makes me proud to be their mum
    Last edited by Marchbundle; 30-01-2016 at 13:25.

  3. #23
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    Some days yes, some days no. Right now, I am hanging out for school to go back on Monday. It's been a long holiday and while they were good for most of it, the last 2 weeks has just been fighting and screaming and I am so over it.

    I think it does get easier as they get older and more independent and more able to control their emotions/tantrums. I know mine are getting on better now that this time last year - the whole Christmas holidays was a nightmare last year. They fought the whole time and drove me bonkers.

    With my youngest starting school, I'm looking forward to some me time and finding who I am again. I miss reading, silence and all the crafty things I used to do before. I also miss being about to go to the loo, have a shower or do anything without an audience and interruption. I am going to savour those kindy days on my own. I can't wait for some alone time!

    Hang in there Muma's. We all just do the best we can and that's all that should be expected of us. Perfection is overrated. If the kids are happy and fed, and we've all survived the day? That's a good one. Even if the house is a mess.

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  5. #24
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    Last edited by TaylasWorld; 11-04-2016 at 16:07.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaylasWorld View Post
    No I don't. I was so happy when I had one child. Thought another child would be amazing and he was until he reached one, went downhill as he started showing signs of autism (extreme meltdowns etc) By then I'd fallen pregnant again and it got worse from then on.

    I'm no longer a kind or patient parent, nor the parent I used to be. I can honestly say I'm the parent I swore I'd never be. Dp and I were great parents of one child -but autism and a young dd who has picked up on her brothers meltdowns has worn all of us down.

    Our mental and physical health has deteriorated in the past five years and their doesn't seem to be an end to it.

    The guilt is rife in this house - Not because we regret having our kids, because we're doing the best we can in poor health and it's still not good enough.
    Especially when we put in so much effort to make things better and it just doesn't.
    Couldn't read and not respond. I have NO idea how people like you do this. It must be overwhelming and i can only imagine how much energy each day takes. Look after yourself!

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  8. #26
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    Hang in there lovely mummas. I really didn't enjoy parenthood much from when DD was born (second child) until she started kindy (so about 4 years). I was exhausted, felt constantly guilty, like I couldn't keep the balls in the air etc etc. It was tough. Now that our kids are 6 and 9 I enjoy parenthood so much more. Yep, there are crappy days/weeks but on the whole I feel like me again.

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  10. #27
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    Last edited by TaylasWorld; 11-04-2016 at 16:06.

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  12. #28
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    To say I don't enjoy being a mum would be a lie. I feel very lucky & blessed to have my 4 beautiful children (aged 8,7,5 & 2) & thank my lucky stars every day that I was given the chance to be their mum & love them dearly BUT I can say that I don't like what motherhood has turned me into.
    I forget the days where I would wake up happy, refreshed & carefree.
    I feel stressed & irritable 90% of the time. I hate that I have a short fuse & in turn can take my moods out on my kids because they're yelling just that little bit too loud, or they accidentally spilt paint on the floor or in general just being kids.
    I hate that I'm a SAHM & that every day is the same. Same routine. Get up, gets kids ready, clean the house, do washing, bring washing in, pick up kids, get dinner ready, clean up again, get kids ready for bed, go to bed myself & repeat!
    Then when I decide I want to go back to work, not because of the money but so I can interact with adults I get a bad case of the guilts & put it on the back burner again.
    I also hate that I don't get to spend any quality time with my husband & he also cops the brunt of my bad mood. And then I'm too tired for any intimacy & then there's the guilts again.
    Being a mum is HARD! And I often envy my husband because he gets to get up & go to work, come home, play with kids, eat dinner (that was cooked for him) & relax. I also hate when people think being a SAHM is easy because it's not. It's mentally & physically draining & we don't get the satisfaction of seeing a pay check in our banks at the end of the week for all our hard work.
    I wish I was told the truth about being a parent. Everyone seems to sugarcoat it & only really tell you the positives. Had I known the truth I would of maybe put it off for a few more years to enjoy the little things like traveling, going out for dinner or the movies etc. I definitely wouldn't of put it off altogether, Just delayed it.
    At the end of the day I try my best & I hope my kids grow up to remember that (& hopefully they forget the yelling lol)

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  14. #29
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    No, I don't. For all the reasons already given so eloquently by others.

    I would enjoy it more if it were not so relentless. Even when they're at school, there's so much going on emotionally. So draining.

    What I would give for able bodied grandparents or to have a sister to share the burden with. I'm so envious of those with family babysitting at hand. DH and I have not had a night alone without kids for about 5 years and it shows.

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  16. #30
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    I enjoy most of it, though having a child with autism presents a lot of challenges. It has also meant that our lifestyle has been significantly compromised. That can be a downer sometimes.

    Things we used to love doing are now not possible as we know our DS just doesn't manage in many situations. And if he's not on board, an outing quickly becomes a fecking nightmare.

    One of the main things we lack is anyone we can implicitly trust to look after DS. I even worry about leaving him with my own parents as I often see my dad being too casual with supervision. Some ASD kids like mine will run off if a gate or door is left open, and we've all seen cases where this has ended tragically. I'm determined it won't be my child.

    My DS brings me so much joy. We've noticed he has matured lately in many ways lately which makes us really proud.

    I am one of the only people I know who is more than happy to have an only child! Seriously, I think it's underrated


 

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