I hate being a mum. Love my kids but hate being a mum. It's not only the media but other mums (IRL and on this forum) that make it look easy and like all of those things you mention. They (seem to) love motherhood, do it well and aren't miserable.
I'm back at work 3 days a week but that's still not enough to make my times at home any easier, it's still the same old same old just not for as long.
I too hope it all gets better once the kids are older and in school and I'm getting more / better sleep. But I've already spent both of their childhoods waiting for that magic time to happen and so far it hasn't.
I've heard many people say before that if anyone truly knew what being a parent was like, no one would ever have children. I kind of believe that. Well it rings true for me.
I was the first person in my close and regular group of friends to have a baby so I had no idea what I was in for. Now when my friends are pregnant I try and be as honest as I can with them (without bringing them down of course) I just try and let them know that it is okay and normal to struggle, to need help and to not enjoy it at times. I think the worst thing a first time mother can be told is that it's all sunshine and no rainy days as it sets them up with an unrealistic expectation of parenthood just as I was and I think that's why I still struggle to this day. Deep in my subconscious I have it in my head everything's meant to be rosey and whenever something doesn't go as I want it to (DD not eating well or getting me up at 2am in the morning) I don't have the ability to take it in my stride. I try but I really can't, so mindfulness is something I need to seriously look into!
OP I hope you can share your feelings with your DH and that together you can come up with ways to make this job happier for you both.