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  1. #1
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    Default Are you enjoying this motherhood thing?

    Really? Don't get me wrong I love my 3 to death but I don't get to enjoy them. Life seems to consist of no sleep ( for almost 8 years now), housework, feeling guilty that the house is always messy anyway, yelling at my kids to stop fighting and stop being rude to me , yearning for time with DH, worrying about our lack of sex life, worrying about money, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with the kids, wondering how the **** I'm going to do this until I am too old to actually go and live my life anymore. This is just not very fun really. 😵😵

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  3. #2
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    I'm hearing you but can't respond properly.
    Yes to all!! Right at this moment,
    It's a tough gig xx

  4. #3
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    I know what you mean. It's a lot like that for me too. But just my kid smiling at me is enough to make my day.

  5. #4
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    OP, you took the words right out of my mouth. We have a 2 year old and a 6 month-old, and I swear some days all I do is clean up, be whinged at, do boring chores, rinse, repeat, all the while feeling like you're somewhere on the spectrum from "pretty tired" through to "the walking dead".

    As much as I love them and wouldn't trade them, there are some moments when I wonder why on earth we decided to do this. I'm sure a decent night's sleep would help, but can't envisage that happening any time soon. (Sleep deprivation is a well known torture method, so I think it's unsurprising that it can leave you fesling a little jaded). And yep, I also worry about the toll on the relationship between DH and I. With no family nearby, we never get an opportunity to do anything just for the two of us. We''ve been out to dinner as a couple once in the last 2 1/2 years. S** is distinctly on the backburner in favour of sleep. And we both feel like unattractive trumps anyway, because between work (which for DH spills into the evenings and weekends as well) and kids there's just no time for luxuries like going to the gym.

    I hold the media partially responsible- they sell us images of motherhood that are littered with fluffy bunnies, hugs and giggles in clean houses with immaculate mummies, and general heart-warmingness. Is it any wonder that people end up a little weary after discovering the truth for themselves- that motherhood is years of sleep deprivation, letting domestic standards drop, being covered in all kinds of substances, and being sent deaf by crying/yelling? The seemingly endless drudgery can take some of the shine off the whole experience.

    I think personality also plays a role. Some people are just more naturally suited to motherhood than others. Parenthood seems easiest for go-with the flow, come what may, extroverted personality types. By contrast, I'm a detailed planning, follow the procedure, orderly, introverted type, so there are destined to be lots of motherhood moments that clash with my preferred way of functioning.

    I'm hoping it improves with age, as your kids start to be able to do more for themselves, and there's a glimmer of hope of getting some rare time for yourself. But just as I'm thinking these thoughts, one of them will do something lovely that makes me feel like I want them to stay this age forever, rather than wishing their childhood away!

    So, I'm currently trying to be a bit more "mindful" and embrace and enjoy the moment (again, not my natural personality trait) and get less stressed over the long list of things I need to do. With DS1, I also found my outlook improved when I went back to work - it gave me time out from the domestic drudgery I was feeling, and I appreciated and enjoyed our time together far more, So I'm looking forward to regaining that in a few months' time.
    Last edited by Gentoo; 30-01-2016 at 04:54.

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  7. #5
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    Motherhood is exhausting. I tell people it's like running a marathon every day, with no end in sight.
    However, I do enjoy it (most of the time).
    I think it's super important to make time for yourself, though. I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and always have. I also don't put pressure on myself to be a perfect parent everyday. I accept the days where I'm not super engaged as a parent as just that, one day in my children's lives. It's not the end of the world.
    I am also grateful that my kids will all be adults before I'm 45. I definitely think I have age on my side for this parenting gig.

  8. #6
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    Agree with so much of your op. Being a parent is so hard and can be very frustrating and not enjoyable.
    One thing I struggle with most is when the kids are constantly whinging and fighting with each other. It just gets on my nerves and I end up yelling like a maniac!

    It is getting easier now the kids are older (4.5 and 6 yo). But people have told me that when the kids get older there's other things to worry about...

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  10. #7
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    Nope! I don't even find it that hard (I only have one 19 month old), it's just boring and unrewarding and means I now spend my life never getting to do the things I do enjoy, and spending all my time doing things I do not particularly enjoy.
    Of course DS brings moments of fun and joy every day, but moments don't make up for the other 95% of the time.

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  12. #8
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    OP, I hear you! I went crazy from the drudgery went DS1 was born. I had images of what motherhood was going to be like, and the reality is not the same! I knew then that being a mum was only part of me and I needed something else. I went back to work full time when DS2 was 18 months old. Now the frustration is different- I deal with adults behaving like children at work, instead of children behaving like children at home, LOL.

  13. #9
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    Yes, I do actually really love it!
    However there are definitely moments of extreme frustration mixed in!

  14. #10
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    I enjoy it more now that they're a bit more independent. Babies I was OK but toddlerhood I struggled with. Being able to go to the toilet by themselves and being able to help themselves to a banana or an apple or being able to play outside unsupervised has made a huge difference. Plus, I find their conversations now both together and with me quite hilarious at times (they're 5.5 and 3.5).

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